The Flu
by lambs79
Summary: Edward is working too hard and gets sick.  Follow how they met and how Jasper does his best to care for him.  Find out if it's enough to save Edward.  AH.  Slash.  E/J
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - EPOV

I laid my head down on the desk and sighed. My head was pounding and my stomach ached.

Maybe I had food poisoning. I was trying to remember the last thing I ate that. . I definitely didn't eat breakfast. Did I have dinner? I can't remember. My head hurts too much to think this hard.

I slept through the alarm for almost a half hour this morning which is very unusual for me. I usually wake up before my alarm and only set it as a precaution. I remember waking up this morning to Jasper's groaning and grumbling about the buzzing noise.

"Edward," I heard my name called. I jumped in my seat. I must be out of it to be startled by Lauren coming in the office.

She was my personal assistant. She took care of my every need between the hours of 7 am and 6 pm. Well, not every need. Right now I NEEDED this headache to go away so I could finish the details on the presentation that I have to present on Friday.

I am CEO of the largest financial institution in Seattle, Cullen Financial. It's the business that I inherited from my grandfather. I have worked here since I was 19 years old when Dad and I told my grandfather that I was interested in learning the business. The first three and a half years while I was in school, I did everything from assist the file clerk to sitting in on the board meetings with Grandfather.

Granddad was so happy that I decided to go into business, even more so that I was accepted to such a prestigious college as Tuck. I know he was concerned that no one in the family was going to be interested in taking over the company when he decided to retire.

My father, Carlisle, wanted nothing to do with the business end of things. He was a neurosurgeon, one of the best on the west coast. At first, I thought I wanted to be just like him and I started my first year at Dartmouth as a Biology major for pre-med. After the first semester of my science classes and I knew that I couldn't do that for the rest of my life.

My older brother, Emmett, was definitely not interested in an office job and he had Dad's scientific mind. Right now I think he was up in Amboy studying deposits of ash found at Mt. Saint Helens.

My little sister, Alice, is currently in Paris studying fashion with some designer I've never heard of. She just makes sure to send Jasper and I a new wardrobe four times a year since she can't have her big brother "looking like he belongs on ."

I don't know if she tortures Emmett like this, since he'll just get his clothes dirty and torn anyway. Not to mention he has Rosalie and she has her own shops on speed dial.

But it never fails, every season Alice calls until I finally give in and model what she sent me so she can tell me what pair of shoes matches each shirt.

Really, it is a stereotype that just because you're gay means that you love fashion and can coordinate your pin stripe shirts with your floral ties. It's just not true. Not for me, and especially not for Jasper.

I took a moment to picture my Jasper. He stands an inch or two taller than me and has wavy blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. He never goes anywhere without his boots on. He's most comfortable in his boot cut jeans and a soft T-shirt, but a few times a year he will put on a jacket and tie. When he does that and slicks his long hair back it's like he just stepped off the cover of GQ. It's always for me, only for me. The last time he it was for my birthday. I must have been day dreaming longer than I realized.

"Edward, Edward, are you okay?" I heard Lauren call again. She was shaking my shoulder and trying to get my attention. I jumped in my seat and turned my head that was still on the desk towards her. How long had she been standing there calling me? Beats me.

"What?" I grunt. If she understood that, it would be a miracle.

"Edward, are you feeling alright?" she asked.

Obviously not, with my head down on the desk and threatening to explode into a million pieces two seconds after my stomach erupts. But I can't say that to her.

"Yeah, fine," I manage to mumble slightly clearer that my previous utterance, hoping she just leaves me alone to my self-pity. God, my throat feels like sandpaper. They are the first two real words I have spoken all day.

I feel Lauren's cool hand that was left on my shoulder slowly drift up the side of my neck and to my forehead. She leans her hand against me as she would a child, and I sigh while sitting back in my seat.

Lauren and I are usually not affectionate people, she knows I have Jasper and she is married to Mike with a toddler at home, but her hand on my forehead feels marvelous and I push myself further into it.

"Oh, Edward," she says, "you feel warm. I think you are sick."

I try to shake my head but it's still pounding and hurts more when I move it. I just have a headache and need an aspirin, then I'll be fine, but my body doesn't appear to want to move. My head feels like a ton of bricks, so I just sigh again and whisper, "yeah."

Lauren finally removed her hand from my head and turned to pick up the phone from my desk.

As she dials, she tells me, "You are in no condition to be driving home right now. I am calling Mike to drive you home in the town car. I know you drove the Aston Martin in today. I'll make sure it's locked up and you can get it tomorrow if you're feeling better."

The Aston Martin was my baby. After I earned my first hundred grand account, the first thing I did was go out and buy that car. I was very protective of that car. I have never allowed anyone else to drive my car. Not even Jasper.

I managed to respond to Lauren with a slight nod with my head back on the desk.

She kept speaking, "I will cancel all of your appointments for the rest of the day and for tomorrow too. You've done nothing but work yourself to death since you took over last year. It's no wonder you're sick. Take some time off and relax."

Just then, I heard a soft knocking on my office door.

I glanced up and saw Mike waiting at the door to take me home.

I closed my eyes and braced myself before trying to sit up again. After taking a deep breath, I lifted my head and sat up.

After a few more moments, I gripped the desk and stood on my own two feet.

At first it seemed like the room was spinning. I stared down at my desk trying not to throw up.

Finally, as the nausea passed, I looked up at Jacob and managed to get out, "I need to go home."

"Of course, sir," Mike answered immediately. "I brought the town car around front just as you requested."

I nodded once then took a step away from the desk. Initially, it seemed like Lauren and Mike were about to dart forward to catch me, but I managed to stay on my own two feet and walked to the door.

Just before I left, I turned slightly to look at Lauren. "Thank you," I said, "and after you make those calls, make sure you take the rest of today and tomorrow off for yourself. Enjoy some time with little Jessica and Eric."

"Thank you, sir," Lauren responded with half a smile.

I walked down the hall towards the elevator to go down to street level. As I did, I noticed myself in the polished brass ornaments hanging on the walls.

I stopped for a moment, looking. My face was pale, more so than usual. My eyes which are typically bright green were surrounded by dark circles and looked black. I looked thinner than I remembered. I really was sick.

"Sir," Mike said, trying to get my attention.

I looked up at him and noticed he was holding the elevator for me. I stepped in and took the ride down. The car did not make any stops on the way down. It only bounced as it stopped on the bottom floor.

"Ughh," I groaned. As soon as the doors opened, I tried to sprint to where I knew the men's room was.

Unfortunately, I was neither fast enough nor coordinated enough in my current state. I shocked a few people who were entering my building as I vomited up whatever little dinner I had left in my stomach and the acid that burnt my throat.

Ahh… I remember now. Jasper had made pork chops and scalloped potatoes.

I felt Mike come up behind me a moment later, helped me stand with the little bit of dignity I had left, and walked out the front doors.

The last thing I thought as I set myself in the backseat of the car was I should give the housekeeping crew a bonus this week.

I felt my shoulder being shaken and I heard my name being called, "sir, Edward, sir."

It must be Mike, he was the only one to call me "sir" all of the time. What is he doing here?

I cracked one eye open. That's right I'm still in the car. I must have fallen asleep.

I was sitting in the plush leather seats of the company town car. The door was open and Mike was standing to my right. Peering past him, I saw we were at my condo in Madison Park.

I climbed out of the car, walked up the five front steps and went to dig the keys out of my coat pocket. That was when I realized I didn't have my coat on or with me. I was just about to walk back down the stairs to go to the back door when the front door opened.

What a wonderful sight greeted my tired, swollen eyes.

Jasper stood in the doorway of our three bedroom condo wearing his jeans and T-shirt, but was barefoot. He had a small smile on his face and his arms were open towards me.

"Oh, Edward," he sighed as he pulled me in for a hug.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him tight.

"Come on, let's get you inside," he whispered.

He took a step back, forcing me to let go of him. I watched as he looked over my head probably to Mike and nodded. Jasper grabbed my hand and led me into the house.

I sat down on the chocolate leather sofa and curled up into a ball. I felt terrible, but I still felt better being home in Jasper's company.

I heard him walk down the hall until he returned a moment later. He sat close to me on the sofa and swept his hand across my forehead and down my cheek similarly to what Lauren had done not even an hour ago, but this movement was filled with love. I felt goose pimples shoot across my skin from the contact.

"Beautiful," I heard him mumble.

I hummed as I enjoyed his cool touch.

A few minutes later, I felt him shift off of the sofa. He was back only a moment later and pushing a probe into my ear. I heard it beep three seconds later.

"Edward," I heard Jasper whisper. "You have a fever of 102.1. You couldn't have been feeling well this morning. Why on earth didn't you say something?"

I didn't have a better answer than a nonchalant shrug of my shoulders and burying my head into Jasper's shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around me for a quick hug before pushing me back against the cushions.

He leaned away from me just for a moment, but it was long enough for me to miss the touch of his cool skin. He was back a moment later and said softly, "open."

I dutifully opened by mouth and felt him place a pill on my tongue and a straw against my lips.

"Drink," he ordered.

I took a few small sips of the cool water to wash the pill down my dry throat.

I took one more small sip upon Jasper's insistence before curling up between the arm rest and Jasper's body.

I moaned softly as my stomach churned with the liquid, threatening to come back up. I swallowed fiercely willing it to stay down.

Jasper moved to stretch out behind me. His long, thin frame hanging off the legs as they always did. Gently, he pulled me down next to him.

He whispered in my ear, "Rest, love. I'm here."

Somewhere in the back of my mind it registered that today was Tuesday and he should have a class this afternoon, but I took comfort in his words that he would take care of me.

As if reading my mind, he whispered, "I cancelled class this afternoon. The kids have a project to start that is worth half of their grade so they won't miss me."

After a pause, he continued, "Lauren called me as soon as she knew you were on your way home. She filled me in on this morning.

You have to take care of yourself baby. I see what you're doing. You get up hours before me, work hard all day, you come home, eat dinner, then lock yourself away in that office of yours for another hour or two at night after I go to bed. When you wake up in the mornings, you're exhausted.

This has to stop, baby. I love you, but you can't keep doing this to yourself."

"I know," I whispered back. "It's just I have so many people relying on me to know what I'm doing. Not just the people that work for CF, but all the people who have invested money and the people that work for those people I have the proposal for Aro-"

He cut me off with a gentle squeeze and said, "No, baby. You're sick. We aren't going to think about Aro, Inc. or Caius, Marcus, and Associates right now. All we're going to think about is you, us, and getting you better."

Jasper held me close to him and said, "I know it's a lot of pressure, baby, but you have to take a break. If you don't, you'll end up burning yourself out in another year and you'll be good for no one.

Lauren and I agreed. You are definitely going to take the rest of this week off. She is going to postpone your proposal meeting for Aro, Inc. until next week to give you time for what you need to do, then… you and I are going to take off two weeks and do whatever we want to do.

Really baby, when was the last time when we just had you and me. No interruptions, no phone calls, no commitments. We need this vacation."

"That sounds great, Jazzy" I slurred as sleep began to overtake me, "and I know just the place to go."


	2. Chapter 2

I was never a fan of prolonged headers on stories, but I have to say:

Thank you for all of the love.

This is the first story I have shared and to say I was shocked by the initial response is putting it mildly. I am proud of this story.

I will never beg for reviews, but I can assure you every single one received has been and will be very much appreciated.

Also, I am obviously not Stephanie Meyer therefore Twilight is not mine.

Secondly I apologize for many alerts you may have received. I will do my best to resolve these issues for any future chapters.

Chapter 2 – JPOV

I laid with Edward for a while thinking about the conversation that Lauren and I had shared earlier this morning. She had called to relay to me just how sick she thought Edward was.

Thank God Lauren was there. If not, I'm sure Edward would still be drowning in proposals and declarations, even with a 102 fever.

The man needed a break. He deserved a break.

The past year since he took over his grandfather's business, he's been like a different person. Hiding away in his office at all hours, mumbling to himself about this or that when he thinks I'm not listening, Christ, he even dreams about his proposals. I can hear him when he's sleep talking about this portfolio and that bond.

I figured when he was feeling better, we could go online and decide what we're going to do for our vacation. I had some ideas, but I wanted to run them by him first

The first time I saw him, he was walking across the courtyard towards the dining hall with a young girl.

I was sitting a few feet away from where he passed with a group of friends shooting the shit. From the moment I saw him, I couldn't even tell you what we were talking about.

He captured my attention like no one ever had. He was tall, probably about 6'2 and obviously worked out. He had a messy mop of thick bronze hair on the top of his head and a slight bit of scruff touching his chin.

Then, I heard him laugh. It was the most beautiful sound I ever heard. Some people say like wind chimes, but Edward's laugh surpasses all beauty.

His eyes briefly glanced towards me as if he could feel the heat of my gaze. We made eye contact and every nerve in my body was on fire.

Edward stopped and we both stared as if we were paralyzed.

His friend grabbed his arm after she took a few steps away and led him back to their conversation and our moment was broken.

I remember feeling entranced with him. Every moment of the day, I needed to find out what he was laughing about, what his name was, and if would ever see him again.

As fate would have it, I saw him again one week later walking through the lobby of my dorm. As I later found out, that friend I saw him with a week earlier was an English lit. major and she lived down stairs from me.

I was close enough to brush by his bare arm on that oddly warm fall day. Instantly I felt an electric jolt of energy warm my body. I stumbled and his arm reached out to steady me.

"Excuse me," I managed to squeak out the same moment he said, "Oops."

We stood up straight and I was able to look directly into his green eyes. I was speechless.

He was the first to break away with a slight redness to his cheeks and a shy look to the side. He whispered in a voice just loud enough for me to hear, "Sorry, I should have been watching where I was going."

Just as he was stepping away, my arm shot out from my body by its own free will and I touched his arm, "I'm sorry, it was actually my fault. I – ummm."

I didn't have a way to finish that sentence. I was too busy checking him out to watch where I was going.

After a moment, I shoved my hand out in front of me and said, "I'm Jasper."

He looked at me for a moment before taking my hand, "I'm Edward."

Our hands joined and I felt the electric current traveling throughout my body. I wondered if he could feel the same. Without letter go, I heard him say, "So Jasper – ummm. I don't know how to say this, I've never really done this before, but ummm."

He took a deep breath and huffed out, "I know a great place not too far from here where we could get coffee."

I stared at him probably too long attempting to process what he was saying. Apparently I stared too long as his cheeks blushed a deeper shade of red.

I was jerked out of my second fit of daydreaming and almost yelled, "Yes, yes, I'd love coffee."

Edward looked up into my eyes and smiled then led me out the doors.

During our walk, I realized he had been on his way into my building. I asked him if he lived there.

He shook his head and explained he lived off campus in an apartment with three other guys, but he was visiting his friend Bella who lived in my building.

I know he saw my face drop at the mention of Bella's name.

He looked at me with a wide grin then laughed, "No, no, no. Bella and I aren't like that. In fact she's more like a little sister."

His grin lowered into that shy smile I had seen before and said in a softer voice, "And she's not really my type."

His phrasing insisted I respond, "So, Edward, what is your type?"

He was staring at the ground in front of him as he said softly, "blonde hair, blue eyes, tall and more masculine than any woman could hope to give."

He cleared his throat and looked away.

I stopped in my tracks and stared at him walking away.

After taking a few steps more, he stopped and turned towards me saying, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Edward," I cut him off, "it's okay.

I was surprised when he just turned around without giving me time to respond. I needed to assure him. I ran the few steps to catch up and placed my hand on his shoulder.

He looked embarrassed until I said, "It's okay, Edward. You're my type too."

He looked up to regain eye contact and stared at me so long it made me fidget in my shoes.

"Really," I assured him again. Finally, he gave me a crooked smile so that his green eyes shone in the sun.

I took his hand in mine and said, "How about that coffee now."

"I wouldn't miss it," he responded and we walked the few blocks to the shop.

He promised that he had texted Bella to let her know of the change of plans when I remembered he was walking into the building when I ran into him.

The conversation continued smoothly without any of the awkward silence for hours.

I learned that he was a senior and looking forward to one more year at Tuck to finish his MBA and I told him I two years from graduating with my Ph.D. in history.

I had dreams of teaching at a major university after graduation. He was going home to Seattle to learn the family business.

After that day, Edward and I were basically inseparable. I spent so much time at his apartment that the guys threatened to make me pay rent.

They really were a great group of guys that Edward lived with. We would hang out, drink beer and party with their girlfriends on the weekends.

But most times, Edward and I spent time together alone. We grew closer until finally, it came to Edward's graduation. I watched as he accepted the certificate from his dean and knew he was moving back across the country.

Later that week, he moved back to Washington and began working full time to being the takeover of Cullen Financial. He would fly back east about once per month to come see me on weekends. That was the most difficult year of my life. He worked so much and I missed him terribly, but the following year, he sat in the audience and cheered as I graduated.

He didn't know at the time that I had applied and was accepted for the assistant professorship at the University of Washington. I was officially a grown-up and was teaching in the history department with a specialty in the confederacy during the civil war era.

So, it was after that ceremony when Edward and I were taking a walk towards our favorite coffee shop one last time that I told him that I loved him and wanted to be with him forever. I told him I planned to move to Washington. Sure, I loved Texas, but my home was with him. If he was in Washington, I would be too.

He was so happy he even shed a few happy tears. I couldn't have wiped the smile off his face for the rest of the week.

A few days later, with all of my belongings packed into my car, Edward and I drove across the country to our permanent home- this beautiful condo he bought a few weeks after I moved west.

Edward officially took over the company six months later.

The changes in Edward since he became CEO were subtle. We still hugged and kissed. Edward still made sure he was home for dinner every night, or he would call well in advance.

But conversations started to dwindle. It was clear that Edward's mind was elsewhere even when I was standing right in front of him.

The sex… the sex was still amazing when joined together with the man you loved, but it was beginning to become monotonous and routine. Don't misunderstand me. I love blow jobs, both giving and receiving. I love the feeling of getting his cock sucked and his balls licked. But sometimes a guy needs a bit of variety.

We really needed this vacation.

A trembling body brought my thoughts back to the man sleeping next to me in the confined space on the sofa. Edward was shivering violently against my body. The fever was having an effect on his body.

I wrapped my lover up in blankets and held him close trying to comfort him in his sleep. Eventually, the shaking slowed and Edward appeared to relax. Hopefully the medicine I had given him had finally decided to work.

I glanced back down at him sleeping against my arm thirty minutes later. My arm was asleep, but Edward was finally relaxed. He was snoring softly as his sinuses sounded congested. Every once in a while he mumbled in his sleep.

Once I thought I heard my name, but I couldn't be sure if he had mumbled "jazz" or "juice."

After pressing a soft kiss against his warm forehead, I slowly stood up while doing my best not to disturb his sleep.

Edward slept most of the night and the next day.

He only woke up for a few minutes here and there. When he did, I would cradle him in my arms and take his temperature. I would make sure to give him more Tylenol for the fever and sips of water.

At one point in the evening, I tried to get him to eat some vegetable soup, but he refused more than three or four bites before stating that his stomach was beginning to churn again.

On the second day, Edward began to cough. It was a hard, rattling cough.

It sounded painful and occasionally Edward would roll over to spit out a thick green mass into the tissues that I had placed next him on the bed.

I sat next to Edward the entire day. I graded papers and tests. I watched a bit of television since it didn't seem anything was disturbing Edward in the deep sleep he was in.

I maintained my ritual by the clock of taking his temperature every hour; giving medicine every four hours and making him sip water every time he appeared to wake.

By that evening, I couldn't wait anymore. Edward's temperature had reached 103. He was still shivering uncontrollably and spitting up ugly colors of phlegm.

I glanced up at the clock and noted it was almost 10:00 in the evening.

I didn't care and I knew he wouldn't either. I searched for Edward's cell phone and found it in the hallway from where must have dropped it when he came home yesterday. I opened it up and saw he had five missed calls and two text messages. I glanced at them quickly to make sure they weren't anything important.

One call was from his mother, one call came from Bella and three were from work. Both text messages were from Alice. Nothing seemed terribly urgent as Lauren knew he wouldn't be taking calls right now.

Finally I scrolled through his contacts until I found Carlisle's cell phone number. I pressed the call button and place it against my ear.

It rang three times before I heard a jovial voice sing out, "Hello, son."

"Uhh, Hello? Carlisle? This is Jasper," I responded somewhat hesitantly. I knew he asked me to call him by his first name. It wasn't something I was used to doing yet. I was raised in Texas where no matter how old you were you always referred to your elders by sir or ma'am.

I also realized I probably should have called from my phone to limit any confusion.

"Jasper!" Carlisle responded cheerfully. "What do I owe this pleasure?"

"Well, um, Carlisle…" I started then paused. He thinks this is a social call and I'm calling to tell him that his son is sick. There's no easy way to say this, I had might as well just spit it out.

Carlisle was waiting patiently on the other end.

"Carlisle, Edward's been really sick and I don't know what to do," I finally managed to get out.

"Ahh, I see. I'm sure you have done everything you can and you know I'll always do whatever I can to help you or my son," he responded. "Now what are his symptoms?"

I quickly explained how Edward was brought home on Tuesday morning from work with a fever and how the symptoms progressed.

Carlisle would occasionally insert a question about a specific symptom, but for the most part stayed silent and listened.

When I told Carlisle what the last temperature reading was, he had me go back and take it again. It was still just as high at 103.2 degrees. Carlisle told me to wake him up and give him an extra dose of Tylenol and wait an hour to see what happened.

Exactly one hour later, Carlisle called back on Edward's phone. I picked it up immediately and Carlisle asked for the new temperature reading. It had gone down slightly to 102.8 but it didn't seem like enough to me or Carlisle.

Finally, Carlisle sighed and said, "If you can get him to the car I need you to go to Swedish Medical Center. If you are unable to get him out of bed, call 9-1-1.

I'm going to call some friends that I know up there and have them take a look at Edward. Esme and I are already on the road. We should be there in about two hours."

I had made the drive with Edward to Forks before. I knew it was about a four hour drive, but was also sure that Carlisle would be using all of the local connections he knew to make sure he was in Seattle much sooner than I could be.

I agreed and hung up the telephone.

I looked down at my boyfriend and wiped his sweaty bronze hair away from his closed eyes before waking him and leading him to our Volvo sitting in the driveway.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for all of your reviews! I had no idea last week when I started to post this story that it would be received so quickly and so well.

I do not own twilight!

Enjoy…

Chapter 3- JPOV

Thank goodness Carlisle had called ahead and let the emergency department know we were coming. There must have been thirty people waiting in the front lobby, each holding a number and waiting to be seen.

But I parked as closed to the front door as I could and walked in with Edward in tow. Edward was practically delirious and I was carrying him more than he was walking.

The nurse in the front immediately took us into the triage area where they could take his blood pressure, temperature and blood sugar levels.

She asked me questions about his symptoms and I explained about his fever, the shaking and the nausea. She asked about his cough and color of the phlegm.

Apparently, his signs and my answers were enough for her to place him directly on a hospital bed and wheel him to an empty room in the emergency department.

A nurse was there instantly before I had a chance to sit down. She introduced herself as Tanya.

I moved as far away as I could to not be in her way as she worked. Tanya moved in a carefully orchestrated line listening to his heart, listening to his lungs, and taking an oxygen saturation level. Occasionally she would ask repeat a question about his symptoms.

Then, she said she had to start an IV line. I watched as she dug through the drawer and came up with a packet containing a needle, catheter and tubing.

She worked quickly placing the tourniquet around his arm and sliding the needle under his skin. Just a moment later, she taped the line in place so it wouldn't get pulled out or knocked around if Edward moved.

I knew Edward would be as mad as hell when he woke up and found needles stuck in his arms, he hates needles, but he didn't even flinch when she started the line.

She left and I sat in silence watching over Edward for twenty minutes before the curtain opened again.

I saw an older gentleman probably around 60 years old with a kind round face and salt and pepper hair. He was obviously very handsome when he was younger.

"Ah ha," the man said, "this must be the young Mr. Cullen."

"Yes, sir," I answered, "this is Edward."

The older man smiled and said "My name is Dr. Eleazar Denali. I am a friend of Carlisle's from way back. This certainly is Edward. I haven't seen him since he was a small boy, but he still has Carlisle's chin and Esme's good looks. You are Jasper I presume?"

I must have seemed slightly startled when I answered, "yes, sir."

Dr. Denali let out a quiet chuckle and said, "Excuse me again. I didn't mean to startle you. It's just Carlisle called me not even an hour ago and told me you were bringing his youngest son in for evaluation. I understand he's running a high fever and not responding to the medications."

"That's right sir," I said. "I gave him an extra dose of Tylenol about an hour before we came in and his fever barely budged. He's been shivering and sweating. He will wake up when he coughs but he falls right back to sleep."

Denali hummed slightly to himself before taking a closer look at the screen that showed Edward's vital signs. He also looked over a printed sheet that carried all of the information the nurse had previously recorded.

The doctor then listened to Edward's lungs again and used a flashlight to check his throat and eyes.

"It appears our dear Edward may have a severe case of that flu bug that's been going around. I am going to have the nurse take some blood tests, a set of cultures and we are going to get a chest x-ray," Dr. Denali finally stated after a moment. "In the mean time, we are going to need to start saline fluids because I fear he is becoming dehydrated. That may be part of the reason why he's not responding well to the medicines you gave him."

I took a deep breath and felt slightly better that I wasn't the cause of the problem or making it worse by waiting to call Carlisle. He was here now getting the care he needed.

Dr. Denali stepped out of the room again after promising to come back later.

The nurse was back a few minutes later. She carried a Q-tip on an extra long stick in a plastic vial and a few empty glass vials.

She used the Q-tips first. She placed one between Edward's dry lips and swabbed the back of Edward's throat before placing it back in the tube. He opened his eyes and gagged before falling back to sleep almost instantly. She used another to swab the inside of his nose. That time he didn't move.

Next, she clicked a plastic cap on the end of the IV and placed the vials against it until the bottles filled with his bright red blood. She squeezed a small syringe of sterile saline into the line then turned to label each of the vials with stickers containing Edward's name and birthday.

A younger nurse came in to start Edward's saline fluids on an IV pump. She walked in carrying a large bag filled with a clear liquid and hung it on a hook above his bed. She took a long plastic tube and connected one end into the bag and the other to Edward's IV. She pressed a few buttons on the pump and started the flow of cool fluid into my Edward's body.

We had fifteen minutes of silence before a young man with cropped dark hair peeked around the curtain. When he saw me, he gave a tense smile and said, "I'm looking for Edward Cullen."

I nodded towards the bed, "this is Edward."

The man introduced himself to me as Alec before stepping further into the room. He was pulling a large machine with him. He checked the bracelet that was snapped on Edward's wrist before saying, "I have to do a chest x-ray. I'm going to need you to step out of the room for a moment."

It was the only time I had left Edward since he became ill. I was directed down the hall to get something to drink while I waited. I stopped and got a cup of hot coffee. I knew this was going to be a long night.

The entire procedure for the x-ray only took about five minutes then I was able to sit and hold Edward's hand.

My poor Edward was so pale and weak right now. This isn't like him. My Edward is stubborn.

I remembered what it was like to be dating him when we were in school.

Edward asked me out first to go to a fancy restaurant that was in the center of town. The first time he asked, I just shook my head.

My family and my close friends all knew I was gay, I just wasn't sure that I was ready for the world to know. I certainly wasn't shy while I was talking to Edward at the coffee shop and on the phone for hours after, but going into fancy places holding his hand and kissing him on the cheek? I just wasn't sure how comfortable I would be on a real date with Edward.

I had been with guys, but usually we met at a club or a bar and we never saw each other more than once or twice. The truth was, I was 24 years old and I had never had a serious boyfriend.

However I loved my stubborn Edward. When we would meet for coffee in the morning or go back to his apartment at night, he would ask. Dinner? Lunch? Movie? Bowling? Zoo?

Finally, it was Thursday and we had suffered a full week of his persistence. I had said no to his last idea when we were sitting in our usual booth in the coffee shop. Edward took my hand and looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Jasper. I don't know how you feel, but I really like you. I've never felt this way about anyone before."

I brought my eyes from staring at the same off-colored spot on the floor and glanced to his eyes. His green eyes were shining and sincere.

He continued, "I love hanging out together, I love spending time with you. I want to keep doing it, but I also want more. I want to take you out and show you what my world has to offer. I am more than just coffee and scones in the morning and bad television movies at night.

I want to know you, Jasper. I want to really get to know you outside of these four walls.

All I want is a chance. Let me take you out somewhere. Anywhere. You can pick the place. I don't care. But I want this chance. I want the chance to go out and hold your hand and show the world that you and I can be happy together," he said as he was waving towards the windows.

His chin dropped to his chest and he lowered his voice, "Really, Jasper. It's just –." He paused, took a deep breath then continued, "I like you. A lot. I think I may be falling for you."

We were both completely silent for a few beats. He glanced up at me from under his eyelashes. I knew he was waiting for my response.

I closed my eyes, swallowed then responded, "That's just it, Edward. I like you too. Probably too much. More than I've ever liked anyone before."

"Then what-," he started.

I cut him off with a shake of my head and continued, "I know I've said I've been with other guys and I have. It's just I've never felt like this before. Like if I breathe too deep, I'm going to drown in your words, your voice. You've made me feel something I've never felt before and to tell you the truth, Edward, it scares the living shit out of me.

Edward, I would love to go out with you, but I know this sounds pathetic but I have never been out on a real date before. I've never gone out and shown the world that I will hold a guy's hand just because I want to and I'd give you a kiss just because I feel like it. I don't know if I'll be any good at it."

I sat there for what felt like hours as Edward absorbed what I just said.

"Jasper," he said with a quiet sigh, "I feel that too. Can't you tell? I miss you terribly when we have to leave here to go to class and when you leave at night to go back to your dorm. It scares me too, but I think this is right. It's not like I've been on a ton of dates or anything, but I think we deserve a chance. I want to hold your hand if we go see a scary movie or walking around the park or while sitting across from you at a nice restaurant.

I want to feel what your lips feel like on mine," he whispered.

I could barely hear the last few words that slipped from his lips.

I stood up and moved to sit closer to Edward against the edge of his chair and finally allowed the feelings I had been pushing under the surface for the past week to bubble up.

"Edward," I whispered in the same tone. His eyes flickered up to mine. Just as I saw the bright green orbs look back at me, I pressed my lips tentatively against his.

I knew I had taken him off guard. His entire body stiffened in surprise against mine as I continued to hold my lips against his. Finally, after a few seconds, I felt Edward relax into me and kiss back.

His lips were soft and moist. They moved with a perfect rhythm against mine. When my tongue peaked out from between my lips and touched his, he groaned and opened himself to me.

Edward tasted like licorice and sunshine. Even better than my imagination could fathom and I knew this was right.

After another moment, I pulled back from his lips and placed my palm against his cheek. I stared into his beautiful eyes and the world was silent as we both tried to calm our breathing.

Finally, I dropped my head to his shoulder and chuckled. Our first kiss was in the middle of the coffee shop with all of these people when I was concerned about a dark movie theater or restaurant. I chanced a glance over Edward's shoulder and realized that no one else was watching, no one else cared. This moment was meant just for him and I.

I eventually sat back to look into Edward's face and said, "I would love to go out with you."

Edward's brilliant smile was enough to know at that moment I had made the right decision.

He squeezed my hand and I heard a raspy voice whisper, "Jasper."

It took me a moment to come out of my memories but when I did, Edward's eyes were open and clear. He was staring at me like he could see inside of my soul.

He squeezed my hand again before saying jokingly, "You have your professor face on again."

Whenever I started thinking too hard and worrying too much he said I would have the "professor face" as he thought it was what I would look like when I was at work.

"Ha ha," I replied dryly. "In fact I was just thinking about our first date."

"Mmmm" Edward replied with a slight smile on his face. "That was a nice night."

He leaned back into the hard pillow on the hospital bed and closed his eyes for a moment as he remembered it also.

Eventually he murmured, "Dinner, dancing, and a handsome man on my arm all night. I think that goes in my top ten nights of all time."

"I told you before, Edward, Jasper Hale doesn't dance. If I did, I would deny it until the end of time. I can agree with you about the dinner and the handsome man on my arm, though," I replied with a smirk, "I'll even agree with you about the top ten nights of all time. It's probably even in my top five."

"He must have been an extremely lucky man to make it in such esteemed rankings," Edward responded softly.

His eyes were drifting closed as he appeared already fatigued even after such a short talk.

I took his right hand in my left and smoothed back his crazy hair with the other and whispered in his ear, "It was the best night of my life, just as every other since then has been. But now rest, Edward. Rest and get well so you can tell more lies about me dancing."

He gave me a crooked smile and whispered, "I love you, Jazzy."

I was unable to respond before he rolled over on his side away from me and letting out a wet, rattling cough.

He coughed longer and harder than he ever had before. I held him and rubbed his back with one hand. His free hand was shaking as he clutched the suction catheter the nurse had provided and brought it to his mouth to spit out the phlegm.

He didn't appear able to stop coughing long enough to catch his breath. Besides from the noise of his chest, I heard the alarm on the monitor keeping track of his vital signs begin to beep.

The nurse came in behind me and quickly assessed the situation. She glanced at Edward then at the screen before hitting button on the wall to call the others for assistance.


	4. Chapter 4

Yes this is a bit of a stressful story for some of you and I left you with a bit of a cliffie at the end of Chapter 3.

I apologize but maybe I'm just sadistic like that…

I'm also not going to tell you if this is a HEA story or maybe Edward needs to be killed off in our stories every once in a while for a bit of variety. Heeheehee.

Thank you all again for all of the incredible reviews. You are all incredible for your kind words. I am absolutely blown away. I never expected a week ago that so many people would find my little story interesting enough to read.

I hope you all enjoy chapter 4. Here's a different point of view.

I own many things, but I do not own Twilight.

Chapter 4 – CPOV

It was about one in the morning when Esme and I walked into the emergency department looking for bed twelve. Just seconds after we walked through the doors, a loud beeping came through a intercom system and a code was called.

A code is called whenever a patient goes into respiratory or heart failure or has an acute change in status that has put the patient's life in jeopardy. During a code, all available doctors and nurses go to the patient in distress and carry out a series of life saving strategies until the patient either lives or dies.

When we finally found Edward's room, we saw Jasper being led out by a young nurse. Jasper's face was ashen and his eyes were shining with unshed tears.

We stopped in our tracks.

He looked up and saw us.

He leaned against the wall for support before stuttering out a string of words, "Car-le, Es-me. I-I don't know what happened. It was all so fast. One minute he was talking to me, the next the – the nurse told me I had to leave. Doctor – came. Oh, God. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

We watched stunned as Jasper's tall frame sank to the floor in a heap.

A young nurse was standing next to him trying to convince him to stand up so he could go rest in the waiting area.

Finally, I stepped forward and touched Jasper on the shoulder saying, "Come, Jasper. Come sit with us and tell us what you can."

The young nurse introduced herself to me as Irina and led us down the hall. I meanwhile explained that we were Edward's parents and would appreciate an update regarding his status as soon as possible.

Despite she didn't know the details of what was currently happening in his room, Irina was able to clarify what Jasper attempted to tell us.

I had already talked to Eleazar on the phone after he had examined Edward. I knew Eleazar back when I started my surgical fellowship. He was a young attending in the same hospital. We knew how each other worked and I trusted his skills implicitly. Now he was known as one of the best internalists in the region. He came down to the ED as a favor to me.

He stated Edward had a chest x-ray which showed a significant amount of consolidation around both lungs. He also had blood work showing his high level of white blood cells and his lab work was indicating he had an infection and was dehydrated.

Edward had a severe case of the flu and double pneumonia. He was very sick and possibly contagious. When we see him, we will need to wear special isolation uniforms and wash our hands and arms thoroughly.

Eleazar ordered a fluid bolus by IV to combat the dehydration. They would also start him on high levels of IV antibiotics to fight the infections. As soon as he was stable, Edward would be moved as soon as possible to an isolation room.

But now with Irina and Jasper standing in front of me and the rest of the medical staff down the hall, they were performing life saving procedures on my son. I knew Edward's condition was more critical than we had initially feared.

Irina explained that during a coughing spell, Edward's oxygen saturation levels became dangerously low and he had an increased respiratory rate. He was breathing, but still wasn't getting the oxygen he desperately needed into his lungs fast enough to support his body. The doctors were going to have to sedate, paralyze and intubate him.

Although I couldn't say it out loud with Esme next to me, I knew at this moment that my 24 year old son could die.

Irina glanced up at me with a look on her face. I knew I must have shared the same look and we both understood.

She excused herself to assist with the situation and promised frequent updates.

We were in the interior family waiting room of the emergency department. I pulled Esme and myself down into the closest set of chairs. They were uncomfortable, but the only thing we could do at this point was wait.

Jasper also sat down just a few seats away from us.

He kept shaking his head and mumbling to himself in a tone I could not hear.

In a strained voice that didn't sound like my own I said, "Jasper, come sit next to me."

He jumped, appearing startled at the sound of my voice. He looked up at me and shook his head. Using a firmer tone that I rarely used with my boys I demanded that he sit in the chair next to mine.

Finally, Jasper moved a few seats closer, keeping his head down.

I placed my hand on his shoulder now that I could reach and said, "Jasper, this is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything you could. You called me when you didn't know what to do. You brought him here as fast as you could. You held his hand and made sure he remembered he was loved during the moments he needed it most."

Jasper was shaking his head, but I went on, "You didn't cause this. You didn't make him get sick. People just get sick sometimes and God only knows why something like this would happen to our Edward. The important thing is we support him now so he can get better."

He glanced up at me and I saw the trails of tears running uncontrolled down his cheeks. He whispered in a broken voice, "but what if –"

He was unable to finish the sentence and I didn't want him to.

"We can wish and hope and 'what if' all we want, Jasper, but there are some things in this world that are out of our control. Unfortunately this is one of them. If I could take the place of my son, I would but we can't think like that now. It does no one any good. The important thing is I know for a fact that Edward has some of the best doctors in that room with him right now and they will do everything they can to make sure Edward is going to get better."

Esme had been sitting next to me silently. I knew she was absorbing all of the information being said around her.

I turned to her as a hoarse sob escaped from her chest. I wrapped my arm around her and held her close as she sobbed into my chest.

I buried my face in her hair and took a deep inhalation of her peppermint and lilac scent that always calmed me. I could feel a few hot tears sting my cheeks before brushing them away and caring for my wife.

Few words were uttered as we waited with baited breath for news of Edward's status. There were no comforting words I could say to make this situation better.

There were more than a few times when I wanted to run back there myself and find out what was going on. Of course I couldn't. I needed to allow his team to do everything they could without me getting in the way.

Finally forty-five minutes later, which felt like hours later, Irina and a young doctor that I didn't know entered the waiting area asking for us.

They sat down and explained the intubation that was performed to stabilize his breathing. Apparently, it was difficult for them to pass the tube through his throat due to the amount of swelling and thick secretions that were blocking his airway. They thought it was amazing how long Edward had been breathing on his own.

After they secured the breathing tube, the doctors had to place a large needle into each of his lungs to remove some of the fluid that was making it so difficult for him to breathe.

Edward was given a large doses medicines for the infection and to sedate him.

They were completing another chest x-ray to check his lungs and level of infiltrates before moving him to the intensive care unit.

Again, there was little we could do until they were finished the tests and cleaning him up, but the important thing was he was alive. We would see him soon.

After Irina and the resident left, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket.

I stared at it for a moment then placed a long distance phone call to Paris.

"Hello," the always chipper voice responded to me. It was after 2 am here but it was closer to noon there.

"Good morning, Alice," I responded.

"Daddy!" she squealed.

Before she could get too excited I told her, "Alice, we need you to come home."

Responding to the seriousness of my voice, she immediately dropped her own tone and said, "Daddy? What's wrong? Is it Mom? What's going on?"

I swallowed hard before saying, "It's your brother. It's Edward." We all knew how close Edward and Alice always were growing up. Even now they make sure to call one another at least once per week.

I heard the fear in her voice as she whispered, "Edward? What's wrong? Please, Daddy, tell me what's wrong."

I gave her the short version that he had the flu and was in the hospital but I continued to press that she needed to come home.

"Of course, Daddy. I'm on my way. I need to stop at home to get my passport and some clothes and I need to make a few phone calls, but I'll be there as soon as I can. I promise."

"I know you will, baby girl. Just be safe and call me when you land in Seattle. We'll pick you up."

"Don't worry about me, Dad. I'll take a cab. Edward needs you more right now, but I'll let you know what my plan is."

I sent her my love and we hung up so she could make the necessary arrangements.

I took a deep breath before making the next telephone call. Emmett.

He and Edward had never been best friends as we as their parents would have hoped. They got along well enough, sure, but it always took more work than the relationship between Edward and Alice.

Edward was always too serious and Emmett to goofy in nature to be close. Then when Edward came home from his sophomore year in college and told us all that he was gay, Emmett took it the hardest.

We all tried to explain to Emmett that Edward was still the same person to us that it didn't change who he was as a person, but Emmett didn't want to listen.

But Esme and I had instilled a set of values in our children from an early age. Family comes first. Always. Jobs are important. So are friends, but family is always first, so I knew without a doubt that Emmett would be here.

I know that concept was a bit startling to Jasper the first time we met.

I understood from what Edward had explained that Jasper's family was not as accepting of his gender preferences.

Apparently, when Jasper told his parents his mother cried and his father stormed out of the house so fast they were unable to find him for two nights.

The only people Jasper could confide in were his younger sister and brother, Maria and Peter. Their ideas were more progressive than their parents and they supported Jasper's choices as long as they made him happy.

From my knowledge, Jasper has not spoken to his parents since. When Edward flew in to Hanover for Jasper's graduation he found none of his family came.

Esme and I were both thrilled when Edward came home a week later with Jasper in tow. They stated Jasper found a job and they were going to live together in the city.

Jasper was always quiet when we saw him but he obviously made Edward very happy. That was what was important to us.

Finally, I scrolled through my contact list and dialed Emmett's cell phone.

Unfortunately his phone was turned off and was sent straight to voicemail.

I left a message, "Hi, Emmett. This is Dad. I'm calling to let you know that Edward is sick and is in the hospital in Seattle. Alice is on her way home. We'd like to see you too. Let me know when you get this message."

I closed the call and sighed.

He was probably sleeping, but I hoped he would get the message soon.


	5. Chapter 5

LEMON ALERT LEMON ALERT LEMON ALERT LEMON ALERT LEMON ALERT LEMON ALERT LEMON ALERT

Well, so far I believe my little story has been pretty tame, but it is rated M. If you are not mature or not interested in E/J lemony goodness, then don't read this chapter.

I admit this chapter probably doesn't do much for the overall plot, but I couldn't delete it after I wrote it. It is short, so it won't take too much of your time and I plan to post a more plot-lined chapter sometime this weekend.

Again, thank you ALL so much for all of your reviews. I am blown away with each one.

And Unfortunately, I still do not and will never ever own twilight.

Enjoy!

Chapter 5 – JPOV

I don't know how I managed, but I must have fallen asleep in the hard plastic chair in the hospital waiting room.

I woke with a start to Carlisle's hand on my shoulder and him calling my name.

"Jasper," he said softly as my eyes opened, "Edward is being moved upstairs to a room. We are going up to the third floor."

I nodded stiffly from my position in the chair and stretched my long body out before standing up to follow Carlisle.

I followed Carlisle and Esme around the corner and through a few sets of doors until we finally reached the shiny elevators.

We rode them up to the third floor and followed the signs until we reached the closed, locked doors to the intensive care unit.

Before ringing the bell, Carlisle turned to both of us and said, "It's up to you if you want to go in and see him. We can only stay for a moment since we are not here during visiting hours. If you are coming in with me, I want you to know that no matter what he looks like right now, he's still our Edward.

He has the ventilator and feeding tubes and IV lines. It's different from when you saw him only an hour ago."

I nodded as did Esme then Carlisle rang the bell and introduced us.

I allowed Carlisle and Esme to go into the room first. They had not seen him at all today and despite this was certainly not the best condition we would have hoped to see him in, they both deserved a moment with their youngest son.

From where I stood not too far away, I could hear Esme's quiet cries.

My heart went out to the wonderful woman. From the first time we had met when they visited Edward at school, she was full of love and support.

She didn't care if I was gay or straight. She saw me as a person and all that mattered was I made her son happy.

She welcomed me to the family with a big hug and promises that one day I would be calling her Mom. The first time she told me, it made me nervous. I was never very close to my own mother and even less now.

She told me stories of Edward's childhood that made him blush redder than a tomato.

When they left Edward's freshly cleaned apartment to go back to their hotel, we sat on the sofa with the television on in the background. I remember telling Edward dirty jokes to try and get him to blush the same shade of red again for me.

He laughed and smiled until he finally reached out and pulled me in for a searing hot kiss.

"I've been wanting to do that all day," he whispered against my lips.

"Well don't let me stop you," I begged as I found myself locked against his restraining arms that had me pinned to the seat of the sofa.

He leaned in again and pressed the most passionate and mind blowing kiss I had ever received against my already swollen lips. Finally I had to break away to catch my breath.

He never removed his lips from my body kissing down my stubbled chin and down my neck.

"Ugh, Edward," I groaned as I felt my pants tighten uncomfortably.

I knew he could feel the increasing bulge in my pants from where he was positioned against me. He shifted slightly, making contact with his own.

"Do you feel what you do to me," he whispered in my ear, "How am I supposed to act when my parents are here and you are sitting there looking like your sexy self all dolled up in those tight jeans and boots?"

He ground his hips harder into my own making my only response a deep, long moan of pleasure.

"You know there is only one way to remedy this problem," he continued, "I guess you're just going to have to lose the jeans."

I looked at him slightly surprised. Neither of us were virgins, that we both knew for sure, but for some reason our evenings and talks so far had never led us to this point.

We had finally gone on our first real date just over a week ago.

Finally, we had made it to the point I had only dreamed about.

Edward was waiting for my response to his proposition. He leaned back slightly on his elbows studying me, waiting for my reaction.

Finally after my moment of shock wore off, I answered him with a blinding smile and I pulled him back down on top of me with searing kiss of my own.

Somehow on the narrow sofa, I managed to turn us over so I was hovering over him. I kissed him with every ounce of strength I could give him. I nibbled at his lower pouty lip and kissed across his cheek to suck on his ear. I felt him squirm under me looking for the beautiful friction as I moved across his body searching for all of the spots I could find to excite him more.

Finally, I guess he had enough teasing and he almost threw me off the sofa before standing up while grabbing my hand and leading me up to his room.

The moment we heard the latch close, we were both groping and pawing each other, fighting with our jeans until they hung by our ankles so we could kick them off.

The head of Edward's cock was swollen and purple as it stood tall out of the seam of his boxers.

I was too busy mesmerized by the vision of his dripping arousal to notice him drop to his knees.

He slid my shorts down my legs and moved towards me without hesitation.

I moaned embarrassingly loud as he ran his cool flat tongue along the underside of my cock. He continued to move his tongue around the tip just around the outline of the head before latching his lips around me to provide the delicious suction.

If I wasn't paying attention, I would have exploded right there. I did manage, however to hold back until he moved his head towards my belly dragging his tongue along the underside and taking my entire length down his throat.

I clutched at his thick head of hair and held him on me enjoying the sensation of his mouth suckling me.

He looked up at me through those long eyelashes with pure lust on his face and my cock in his mouth.

I reached down with one hand and traced his top lip where it met my dick.

With less force of my hands holding him to the base of my cock, he managed to slide back and forth, pumping me to increased excitement.

His hand moved up my thigh to massage my balls in time with the suction he was providing with his mouth and I exploded with a force I had never felt before.

I felt Edward using his tongue to lick around my softening shaft tasting each drop.

He stood himself up to be eye level with me as he pushed two long fingers between his lips. As I watched him use his tongue and suck on them, I felt myself start to harden again.

I had never experienced this kind of stamina before, but I certainly wasn't complaining, especially not with Edward standing in front of me.

He slowly lowered his mouth onto mine and gave me a slow, closed mouth kiss.

I urged his lips open with my own and tasted myself on his tongue. I stepped back towards the bed and scooted back until he was positioned above me. Our lips never parted.

As we kissed, I felt the fingers that were just in his mouth, move against the light hairs dusting my chest and stomach. He was slowly moving his hand down my stomach and around my thigh.

My back arched searching for his touch until he removed his hand from my body and shoved his two fingers into my mouth. I latched down eagerly, sucking and licking.

He leaned into me and whispered into my ear, "Do you taste yourself, Jasper? Can you taste your honey? I could drink you all day and never get enough."

I moaned softly. I could taste myself around his deliciousness. Together it was like nothing I had ever experienced. It was bliss.

He slowly removed his fingers and brought his hand down to where I wanted to feel him. He pressed one long, thin finger into my hole providing the moisture I needed until I could feel him slip easily in and out of me. He then added another finger, scissoring his fingers to stretch me open.

I moaned at the invasion.

When he removed his fingers, I felt him shuffling around his bed for a moment before hearing the tearing sound of the condom wrapper.

I lifted my head to get a good look at his cock for the first time as he rolled the condom on.

He used a small bottle of lube to prepare himself for me.

Edward helped me bend my knees and placed my left leg over his shoulder. He lined himself up with me before slowly pushing his head inside.

"Oh, Edward," I groaned loudly.

His eyes flickered up towards my face with a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips.

He pressed again entering me a little further. My groaning quickly turned into one long moan as I felt him move inside of me.

He was thick and long. The feeling of him moving back and forth within me was more than I could handle.

"Oh, Edward," I groaned again, "I'm – I'm gonna come."

With my moan, he moved his hand up to stroke my cock a few times before I exploded across both of our bellies.

A couple of more pumps with him inside of me and he stilled. I watched his face contort with pure pleasure as he emptied himself inside of me.

When I came to my senses and I remembered where I was, I blushed. I'm sure my face was beet red.

I turned towards the nurse that was sitting at the desk behind me and muttered, "I'm sorry. I can't do this right now," and ran out of the ICU.


	6. Chapter 6

I have decided that the E/J readers must be the best readers and reviewers in all of twific land. You are all awesome and your reviews are incredible. Thank you so much.

Now we return to the plot of this story. Hopefully some of you will smile a bit more with this chapter.

I do not own twilight.

Enjoy…

Chapter 6 – JPOV

Embarrassingly, I had to run to the men's room to finish what my day dreaming had started.

After I had cleaned myself up, I walked back out to the ICU waiting room.

There were two other people in there that I did not recognize that must be here visiting other family members.

It was almost an hour before Carlisle and Esme emerged.

Esme's eyes were swollen; her face was red and blotchy. Carlisle didn't look much better. When he turned to look at me, he started, "Jasper, I'm sorry-"

My heart dropped immediately at his words.

He must have seen it on my face before he continued, "No, no. Edward- Edward is fine. Or at least the same. Let me continue. I'm sorry, Jasper. I'm sorry we weren't here to support you before, we shouldn't have left you alone without telling you first."

At least he was oblivious to my previous situation in the middle of the hospital unit.

"No, please. You don't have anything to apologize for. You both have been nothing but gracious and loving since we met. I appreciate that you have shared with me everything that's going on," I assured him.

He patted me on the shoulder stating, "We wouldn't have it any other way. You're family," before sitting on the hard chair next to Esme and attempting to get comfortable.

Most likely because I hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep in three days, I fell asleep against the wall sitting up in the chair.

I woke I don't know how much later to a high pitched noise.

I quickly realized that it was a telephone ringing. I opened my eyes to find the annoying device. It certainly wasn't a ring tone that Edward or I had.

Soon, I found Carlisle's phone lit up and ringing, but he or Esme were nowhere to be found. I wouldn't know why they would leave without their phone.

What if something happened to Edward?

I was starting to freak myself out and I had to stop and take a deep breath before taking a closer look at the phone.

It stopped for a moment then lit up again with Emmett's name on the display.

He was obviously desperate to talk to someone, so I decided to answer it.

"Hello," I stated.

"Hello? Who is this? Where is my father?" he demanded in quick succession.

That was when I realized that since it wasn't my phone, I should have introduced myself first. Instead I responded, "This is Jasper."

"Jasper," he questioned. "Jasper. Huh. Jasper Hale?" he suddenly exclaimed as he realized who I was.

"Yes, Emmett," I replied. "This is Jasper Hale. Sorry, your dad isn't around. He must have left his phone here but I know he wants to talk to you."

"Why are you answering my dad's phone," Emmett demanded.

"Umm – well I just told you-"I started, but Emmett cut me off stating, "Why are you with my dad? Are you in Forks? What's going on with Edward?"

"Umm. Actually your parents are in Seattle, we're at Swedish Medical Center," I told him.

I wasn't sure how much I should tell him on the phone. Finally, I thought, he's Edward's brother and deserves to know everything. I heard Carlisle explain the situation to Alice on the phone yesterday.

"What's wrong with Edward? Dad left a message and said that he's sick," Emmett demanded again.

I swallowed back my retort before saying, "Edward has the flu and is in the ICU. I think your parents are with him now."

The line was silent. I had to look at the phone to make sure he was still there.

Finally, I heard him say, "Edward's in intensive care?"

The tears threatened to spill over again, but I swallowed them back before saying, "Yes, he's very sick. He has a breathing tube down his throat and is being pumped full of drugs and he has a feeding tube.

"Oh, shit," I thought I heard Emmett mutter across the line.

I continued, "I know Carlisle spoke with Alice yesterday and she should be on her way home now. I'm sure they would like you to be here also."

"Yeah, of course," a stunned sounding Emmett responded. "Tell them I'll be there in three hours. Now tell me where you are again."

I recited the hospital name and address as well as Edward's room number before hanging up with him.

I stared at the phone for a long moment before realizing there was one more person I had failed to call. I checked the time and saw it was just after 7 in the morning. It was early, but she should be up.

I opened Edward's phone again and searched for Bella's name. When I found her number, I realized there were at least three texts that she sent since Tuesday that were never responded to.

After calling Carlisle, this was going to be the most difficult telephone call. Edward almost considered Bella a little sister, and Edward a big brother to Bella.

Bella was an only child and her parents were divorced.

She had told me before that she basically had to take care of her mother because she was either devoted to the most recent fling of a boyfriend or passed out drunk. Her father wasn't much better. After the divorce, he isolated himself in a small town in Florida. She wouldn't visit and he wouldn't return her calls.

Edward and Bella became close when they met their first day at Dartmouth. They bonded instantly. They were both passionate souls.

She would be his rock when he got homesick for his little sister. He would be her confidant when she got depressed. They relied on each other.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before selecting the call button.

It rang twice before she answered, "Hello, this is Bella."

She sounded distracted but I responded, "Hi, Bella. This is Jasper. Did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Hiya, Jazzy. No it's fine. I couldn't sleep so I'm up reading some freshman midterm papers. It's amazing some of these kids could graduate from high school, but anyway - how's it hanging?"

In the matter of thirty seconds I was able to take the sweet, personable girl and turn her day into a black cloud.

Unfortunately, she was working at University of Arizona for her Ph.D. in English and was teaching undergraduate literature classes today and Friday, so she couldn't get off until after her last class Friday afternoon.

I promised to send whatever news I could and she promised to book the first plane up here after her lesson tomorrow.

We said goodbye and hung up the telephone.

I sat back in my chair and rested my head against the wall for a moment, thinking of how so much could go so wrong in a short amount of time.

Just two days ago, I was at home planning an exotic vacation for Edward and I. Now I wasn't sure if he would make it out of the hospital.

I knew Edward was working too hard, but never thought it could come to this. He was always devoted to what he believed in. When he was a graduate student, I would either find him in a library nook or squirreled away in his room with his nose in a book.

Still now, we had a few select nights when we went out, but we became very comfortable staying in. When I was downstairs grading history tests, he would hole himself in his office pondering the next step for CF.

I had made a few acquaintances around the university with whom I would catch a drink with after work, but none were close friends. Edward and I mainly kept to ourselves when we were at home.

I definitely had no interest in moving back to Texas, not after the way my parents had treated me when I told them I was in love.

They have no interest in my life and happiness and of all the things I have learned from Edward and his family it's that you need to be surrounded by people who love you.

Without Edward, I had no meaning, no life, no reason to go on.

As I sat there, I decided that if Edward were to die, I would too. I'd sort out the details later, but I knew enough that if you go to the other side of town and piss of the wrong people, it's not hard to get yourself killed.

Feeling slightly appeased that I had a plan, I stood and paced, wondering where Carlisle and Esme had gone.

Just when I was about to step through the doors of the ICU to check how Edward was faring, they appeared.

They looked no better than they had last night and it was obvious that neither of them had gotten any sleep. I couldn't blame them.

I told them that Carlisle had left his phone; Emmett called and said he was on his way. That news appeared to relax them both slightly.

Carlisle said they had sat with Edward all night. When it became obvious that neither of them were going to sleep, they slipped out to spend some quiet time with their son.

Carlisle stated that Edward was now running a high fever of 104. They had covered him with a special cooling blanket that was made out of plastic tubes that could circulate cool water to attempt to cool his body temperature.

The chest x-ray showed he still had a lot of fluid taking up space in his lungs, but using the ventilator that was set up, the doctors could use a special catheter attachment to clear his upper airway. Carlisle did make special mention that they would be watching Edward's lungs carefully though.

Finally, I asked if I could go sit with him for a while and they both nodded yes.

I entered the ICU and there were a few more people in there now than there had been in the early hours.

Some appeared to be family members of other patients, but most were different types of doctors in long white coats and nurses in their brightly colored scrubs.

When I made it to Edward's room, I could see through the glass door. Only his head and the tips of his fingers were sticking out from the thin white sheet that was covering him. The area on top of him seemed bulkier from the cooling blanket.

I donned the blue plastic isolation gown and a mask before I stepped into the room. I saw him for the first time since he had said those last words to me down in the emergency department.

I sat in the chair that was set up next to the bed and reached under the sheet to find his hand. I held onto it tightly and squeezed my eyes shut trying to block out the tears.

A traitorous tear burnt its way across my cheek. I didn't even bother to lift my free hand to wipe it away.

Instead, I whispered to him in choked sentences, "I decided, Edward. One can't live - without the other. You can't leave me. You belong here with me. If you decide to leave me – I will have to follow you."

A few more tears made their way down my cheeks and I didn't even attempt to stop or slow them.

As I sat, I heard the air moving through the ventilator. Suddenly it started beeping and I became alarmed. The nurse entered the room to silence the sound.

As she looked at the settings, she smiled slightly and turned to me, "Have you been talking to him?"

I nodded.

She continued, "I would bet my whole next paycheck that he can hear you. He won't remember what you said when he wakes up, but he's reacting to your voice."

She pointed to the machine connected to his breathing tube and said, "See this line? Every time it moves is when he's trying to breathe on his own. When the machine was beeping like that, he was taking deeper breaths than what our controls are set for. He's responding to you."

"Oh, Edward," I whispered as I stroked his pale cheek.

"Baby, can you hear me? God, I love you. I love you so much. You go ahead and breathe, baby. Do it for me, for your mom and dad. You know Alice, Emmett and Bella are on their way too. Show them all what a fighter you are. We all know you're a stubborn ass, keep on breathing, baby," I murmured into his ear.

I felt the movement of his chest going up and down with each measured breath. A moment later, I could feel him subconsciously fight for the deep breath around the ventilator. The nurse was still standing at the lit unit and was watching the numbers.

She smiled, "Yup, nice deep breath."

Then she turned to me with a sadder look saying, "That deep breath probably took a lot of energy, so we should let him rest for now, but we can try again later."

I was still riding the high from the two breaths he took for me so I just nodded and stepped out of the room back to the waiting area.

I sat down in the chair with a big sigh and a lot more hope.


	7. Chapter 7

One word – WOW.

You guys are incredible.

I don't think I have any words to express it any better so I'm leaving it there.

~Sorry this is a short chapter, but it's sweet and I like it. I will update again soon! Promise!~

I do not own twilight or Jasper or Edward.

Chapter 7 – JPOV

I sat in the waiting room counting the endless minutes as the world around me continued to move in its bustling activity.

I was vaguely aware when Carlisle and Esme moved in and out.

Once, Esme brought me a sandwich and soda that she must have bought from the hospital cafeteria; however I left it uneaten on the table in front of me.

At one point, Carlisle appeared to be speaking to me. His voice echoed through my head, but I couldn't make out the words he was saying.

I blinked a few times before saying, "I'm sorry, Carlisle. I must have been day dreaming again. Can you repeat that?"

He smiled Edward's crooked smile before saying, "I want to try and get Esme to rest for an hour or so. If you want to go sit with Edward, you may.

I nodded then stood to see my Edward. I dressed in the gown and mask again as we were required to do, then slid the glass door open to step inside. I left it open a crack before sitting down in the visitor's chair.

I leaned close to Edward and allowed my eyes to drift closed and I dreamed of the life I would lead when Edward was healthy and strong.

One day, Edward and I would be bound together in marriage. We already shared our possessions and our daily lives, but there was nothing quite as fulfilling as having that piece of paper saying that you belonged together according to God, country and state.

I knew Carlisle and Esme would appreciate a small ceremony, maybe up at their house in Alaska. A twilight service under the sky of the northern lights.

Alice would have a grand time choosing the perfect suits for us to wear. Should one of us wear white? It's not like either of us were pure.

Classic tuxes should the way to go. We both hated it when he had to get dressed up for the formal charity event that CF held every year, but he's so dashing when he is dressed up and standing proud, so it may be worth it. Maybe I could convince Alice to let me wear my boots. It might be worth the squeezing vests and strangling ties.

I see us walking down each side of the aisle towards each other to join in front of the justice of the peace. We'll hold hands and make our promises to each other until the first kiss.

Will we dance? I know Edward would certainly want to. He's a marvelous dancer; he even keeps me from tripping over my two left feet.

I wondered what he would think about me taking his last name. There was nothing holding me to the Hale name anymore.

We could finally go on that exotic vacation we were talking about. There is a whole list of places I would like to see and things I would love to do. We could go swimming at the Great Barrier Reef or rent one of those little cottages on our own island in Fiji.

We could make love under the stars for hours with no one around for miles. Mmmm.

I must have sighed aloud while dreaming of my Edward naked on the white sand beaches.

I heard a light giggling noise only inches from my ear.

I peaked my left eye open and spotted a little girl who must have been four or five sitting on the chair next to mine.

She had long brown hair with auburn tones hanging down her back in a thick braid and chocolate brown eyes that were sparkling with amusement. She must be here with one of the other families visiting.

"Hello," I said softly.

"Hi," she responded, continuing to giggle.

"What are you doing," I asked.

"You're sad," she responded in her tiny voice.

I nodded, not being able to get a word in before she continued, "Daddy says I look like Belle, but I don't think so, I think I look like Snow White. She's prettier, don't you think."

She took a breath and continued, "You can be prince charming, because you are too pretty to be the Beast with Belle."

I smiled at her and said, "Why, thank you, sweetheart."

"Why do you talk funny?" she asked suddenly.

"I'm sorry?" I responded

"Your words sound different than mine," she answered.

"Ohh, we just talk different because I'm from Texas and it sounds like you're from Washington," I said.

She thought about it for a moment before looking up at me with the big brown eyes and nodded. Then she asked, "Where's Texas?"

Just as I was about to respond a young woman came up to us and scolded, "Nessie, there you are! What are you doing? Are you bothering this gentleman?"

I looked between the woman and the young girl once before responding, "She's not bothering me at all, just keeping us a little company, isn't that right little one?"

She nodded while staring up at the woman with big doe-like eyes. "I'm sorry, Momma. I didn't mean to, but he was sitting here looking kinda sad and look! His eyes are smiling now."

"Is that right," her mother responded before turning towards me, "I'm sorry sir, she just moves so fast. We were two doors down visiting my mother-in-law, I turned around and she was gone."

I gave her a half smile before assuring her again, "Really, it wasn't a problem. She was only here for a few minutes." Then I turned towards the little girl and said, "but you need to stay with your Momma. I can see she was worried about you."

Nessie hung her head slightly before saying softly, "I know. I won't do it again."

Then she pushed her little fist towards me. Confused, I moved forward to touch her tiny hand. When I did she handed me a tiny shell that was hiding in her palm. As she did so, she said, "This is a happy shell. Daddy says that the clam gave it to us and they are always smiling. Whoever touches it gets to have a happy smile on their face too. I want you to have it so you can be happy."

I was more than a little stunned of the actions from this little girl. Her mom tried to pull her away from me trying to tell her that I wouldn't want it, but I stopped her softly. I knelt on the ground to be eye level with her and said, "Nessie, this is the best present I've ever received. Thank you."

She took a few small steps towards me before wrapping her little arms around me and giving me a hug.

Then I thought, "Don't you need your shell? We need to make sure you have lots of pretty smiles on your face Miss Snow White."

She giggled and responded, "It's okay. I have lots more of them at the beach," before finally being led out of the room by her mom.

I sat in silence in the room studying the small shell that sit in the palm of my hand. I ran my thumb over the outside of it and felt the hard ridges that ran the length, then I turned it over and admired the smooth shiny surface on the inside. The way it curved it seemed to reflect the light even in this poorly lit room.

I found myself identifying my life with the shell.

Most people saw the hard Texan exterior of myself, but I had a soft heart. I gave away that heart, like the shell gave away its clam.

Everyone knows we have our rough, bumpy patches going through life. This was certainly one of them. But there were other times when Edward and I were together that we took for granted because life was smooth and beautiful.

Obviously, we had never planned on something like this happening, but I would do everything in my power to make sure we would be there to support each other no matter what happened.

I gripped the fragile shell in my hand and prayed to a God that I hadn't known in many years that we would get that chance to love together in the years to come.

Given the opportunity, I would make sure he knew how much I loved him and I planned on being with him forever.

Suddenly, having that piece of paper from the State of Washington became a priority when it never had been before.

After coming to that conclusion, I placed the fragile shell on the table next to Edward's bed before standing and leaving the unit.

When I went back into the waiting room, I realized I must have been sitting with Edward longer than I thought. It was almost ten o'clock and the doctors would be performing rounds soon.

Rounds were when all the important members of Edward's team got together and discussed the next step. I knew Carlisle always attended these meetings for Edward, so he led Esme back to Edward's room.

I laid my head back and pondered our next step, despite how little we did know about our current situation.

I was only able to rest for a moment before the main door to the waiting room swung open with a bang and a booming voice said, "Where is he? Where is my little brother? Who is going to tell me what the hell is going on here?"

Myself as well as the two other people in the room all turned stunned, to look at Emmett's huge frame standing in the doorway.


	8. Chapter 8

Every chapter… so many reviews. I am completely blown away.

A lot of people have been requesting and waiting patiently for this chapter. Here's Emmett!

(I still do not own Twilight)

Enjoy!

Chapter 8 - EMPOV

I woke up this morning when my alarm rang at six thirty, quickly shutting it off not to bother Rose. I moved around the house quietly to start the coffee and shower before I began to organize the materials I would need for the day when I spent the better part of it on the mountainside.

It was when I was pouring my first cup of joe that I realized I had left my cell phone on the counter and the battery had died in the middle of the night.

I plugged it into the adaptor and turned it on immediately. I was surprised to see I had a missed message from Dad.

I dialed into my voicemail and was immediately concerned when he said Edward was sick. Dad has never called us all together like this and I knew he wouldn't be calling in the middle of the night if it wasn't serious.

Before the message was even over, I ended the voicemail and hit the button to call him back.

The phone rang and rang. When the voicemail picked up I hung up and tried again. When I started to dial a third time I began to panic. Why isn't he answering his phone? Are things that bad that he can't pick up the phone for two seconds and tell me what is happening?

I was just about to hang up a third time when I heard a voice call, "hello" through the speaker. That wasn't my father's voice. Who the hell is answering the phone and where is Dad? I was becoming angry quickly since information moved slower than a snail's pace.

He introduced himself as Jasper.

It took me a few minutes to understand, but then I remembered the Jasper I was introduced to once. Edward brought him home after college and said they were going to live together, that they were in love.

It took every ounce of strength in my body not to knock this kid out right then and there for fucking with my family, but I couldn't do that in front of Mom. Instead, I turned around and left the house.

I got the details of what Jasper knew of Edward's condition and the directions to the hospital before I went to wake up Rose.

I piled a few changes of clothes and my toothbrush together because I wasn't sure how long we would be staying in Seattle. I also called my boss, the senior geologist at the site and told him the situation as well as I wouldn't be in for a few days.

I ushered Rose into the car and began driving north as fast as I dared in her BMW. On the way, I explained the telephone message and the call to Jasper.

Rosalie picked up the telephone and listened to the full message realizing that it wasn't going to tell her any more than what we already knew.

When we were about a half hour out of Seattle, she placed her hand on my knee and stated, "Emmett, I know you have had difficulty with Jasper in the past, but now you will be on your best behavior. If not for yourself, then do it for Edward. He loves Jasper and you holding a grudge against something he can't control is not going to make things any easier right now. Sort out your shit when he has a chance to defend himself."

I shook my head in response, but I knew what Rose said was true. "I will be on my best behavior," I promised.

She continued to stare at me for a moment before nodding and saying, "yes, you will be."

I walked into the hospital forty-five minutes later after dealing with the morning traffic and finding parking. I ran down the steps of the parking garage and entered the hospital through the main entrance. I only stopped at the front desk long enough for the security guard to point me in the right direction of the ICU. I knew Rosalie must not be too far behind me.

I ran through the halls skidding to a stop when I reached the waiting room doors first. I swung them open without ceremony demanding to know what was going on with my brother.

I was met face to face with Jasper. Whenever I saw his smug little face I wanted to punch him. I held back however as I had promised Rose.

Jasper faced me and said in a cracked voice, "Edward is in bed three. Your parents are with him right now talking to the doctors. I'm sure if you go ring the bell and let them know you're here they'll let you in to see him."

Patience has never been my strong suit; I have always been a big fan of instant gratification. When I was in school, I would sit for my test and ask my professor to grade it immediately. If I got an A I would go down to the bar and buy a round of drinks. If I got an F I would go buy that same round of drinks and keep them all to myself.

I ran a few feet away to the closed doors that lead to the intensive care unit where Edward laid. I pressed my finger on the doorbell and waited for them to respond.

For a bunch of highly trained professionals, they took a really long fucking time to respond to my call. What felt like five minutes later, I heard the door buzz and they allowed me in after I told them who I was there to see.

I heard the door click and it swung open before me. Edward's room wasn't too far away.

I was Mom and Dad through the glass pane door with their backs turned towards me. I couldn't see Edward in the bed as they were blocking my view.

I dressed as instructed then walked through the door and croaked, "Dad."

They both turned towards me and my mother immediately wrapped me in a hug. I felt her shuddering breaths and could smell the salty tears running across her cheeks.

It had obviously been a long night for the both of them. Dad's blue eyes were surrounded by dark circles. As I continued to hold my mother my dad whispered in a haunted voice I had never heard before, "Thank for getting here so quickly, Emmett. We both appreciate the effort."

I nodded then glanced to his right where my little brother laid. All of the words that Jasper had said did not prepare me to see him.

There were tubes everywhere, in his arms, chest, nose and mouth. His face was pale with dark purple circles around his closed eyes. He didn't move but for the slight up and down movement of his chest with each breath.

My mother let me go from her bone crushing hug, instead rubbing my arm which was around her eye level. I barely heard my parents step away allowing me a few minutes of privacy.

I reached out to touch Edward's uncovered hand. It was cold and clammy. I swallowed hard before dropping down in the chair that my mother had previously occupied. There were no words that I could say in this moment that would have made this any easier.

I sat with him for probably twenty minutes before I couldn't do it anymore. I walked off the unit. Rosalie had been waiting for me on the other side of the closed doors and she followed me silently.

I ignored her, walking straight into the men's room and locking the door. I slumped to the floor in a battered heap and cried.

I cried fat tears that ran uncontrollably down my cheeks. They came at such a rate I couldn't stop them.

I held my head in my hands and thought about the fact that I hadn't talked to my brother in over a year.

We were together for family holidays and the like, but we never said more than hello to each other. I knew he was miserable at every one before he asked Jasper not to come if he knew I was going to be there as it would make me uncomfortable.

I didn't know him anymore. I didn't understand who he was. When we were in high school, he could have had any girl he wanted in a thirty mile radius. He went off to college for two years and came back telling me he was into guys. That just didn't make sense to me. It wasn't natural.

Finally, he came home with a boyfriend. A boy-friend. Not a friend who happened to be a boy, but a kissing, hugging, LOVING boyfriend.

I couldn't take it anymore. I left. I packed up all of mine and Rose's belongings and moved out of Forks. I found a job in Amboy and I jumped at it. While sitting on a deserted path on the mountain staring across at the crater of the hottest volcano in the continental US, I could forget about my other problems and concentrate on what was in front of me.

The beauty and unforeseeable future of mother earth is very much like life. We can make an educated guess and do everything we can to control the surroundings to give us the results that we would like, but sometimes there are things that are too far out of our grasp to control.

This was one of those moments. My brother was dying. I missed my chance.

I'm sorry Edward.

RPOV

I walked onto the third floor of the hospital towards the intensive care unit and Emmett was nowhere to be found.

I easily found the waiting room and stepped in. Three people were there sitting quietly in the chairs lining the room. The only sound was the news reporter speaking on the television that no one was watching.

Two of the three people glanced up to watch me enter. The older gentleman, whom I would estimate to be about seventy, ignored me.

The younger woman who was sitting with him looked in my direction before returning to comfort the man who I assumed was her father.

The other man I saw was a person I had only met in pictures. I had seen his picture placed on Carlisle and Esme's mantle in the living room of their home where they kept pictures of their family. The only difference is in the picture, he was smiling. Edward was with him in the picture with his arm placed securely around his partner's shoulders.

This Jasper appeared to be a different man. His eyes weren't the vibrant blue they were in the picture. They were drooping from fatigue and dark from worry. His blond hair stood out in different directions. I guessed he picked up Edward's bad habit of running his fingers through his hair whenever there was a lot on his mind.

"Jasper," I said softly and he continued to stare. I don't think he was staring at me as much as he was staring through me however.

"You must be Rosalie," he responded.

I nodded with half of a smile before saying, "Just call me Rose, it's easier."

There were a few minutes of awkward silence before I asked, "How are you holding up?"

He shrugged and his lower jaw quivered in an attempt to hold the tears that threatened to betray his feelings. He leaned forward with his elbows against his knees before running his fingers through his unruly hair just as I suspected he did.

I moved across the room and gently placed my arm across the shoulders of the man that I only really knew by name.

"I'm sorry, Jasper," I said in a soft voice as comforting as I could. "I couldn't even imagine if that was Emmett in there.

I don't know Edward well, but I know enough about the Cullens to say they are strong people. They won't let anything be stronger than they are and they definitely won't let anyone they love down if they can help it.

And I know Edward loves you. He's going fight this, Jasper, and he will beat it."

He nodded slightly and I did my best to console the man who sat next to me in grief.

Finally, he said, "Thanks, Rose."

"Anytime," I responded, "I mean that.

At that moment, Carlisle and Esme came through the door. They said they were allowing Emmett a few minutes of privacy with Edward. I offered to get them coffee but they just shook their heads and said they would wait.

Carlisle stated the resident doctor on the floor was beginning to prepare to give Edward a chest tube because they were having difficulty keeping the fluid levels in check. The doctors had been hoping that with the combination of the ventilator and diuretics they would be able to control it, but according to the latest chest x-ray the fluid level was beginning to rise again.

The good news was that despite the rising fluid levels, Edward appeared to be responding to the cooling blanket and saline. His fever had lowered to 101.9

The small amount of good news had seemed to relax Jasper enough for him to take a deep breath and breathe a little easier.

I stood while looking at the time and said, "I'm going to go check on Emmett."

The three nodded before I stepped out of the room. I had just made it to the main door before it swung open and Emmett stepped through. He barely spared me a glance before walking down the hall past the waiting room and locking himself in the men's room.

I tried knocking a few times, but he didn't respond. Instead, I pressed my ear against the door and heard my husband weep.

I slid down the wall next to the door, realizing there was nothing I could do to help my husband at the time other than give him the time he needed to battle with his emotions.


	9. Chapter 9

A milestone! 100 reviews! You guys are the best!

Just for that, I am planning to make this a 3 – chapter – post week!

I will do my best to post again on Thursday.

You guys are seriously the best, I started posting not really sure what to expect, so this is huge for me.

Alright… enough rambling.

-I do not own twilight—

Chap 9 – CPOV

It healed my breaking heart just slightly knowing that Emmett was here. I knew Alice was on her way. She had called this morning while Esme had gone to grab a bite of food, more out of necessity and something to do than hunger.

Our family was coming together in this moment of crisis just like I knew they would.

Emmett had his moment to break down. He and Rose had rejoined us in the waiting room a half hour after she had left.

We all sat together in silence and I imagine we were all praying in our own little way.

I was raised in the Episcopal church since my father had emigrated from England when he was a teenager. My mother was Irish, but her heritage was dated many generations before herself.

When I was young, we would attend church each week and participate in the sacraments, however as I grew older and left for college and was married, I had stopped attending. That did not mean however that I did not believe in God. I just chose to worship in my own way.

That process continued as our family grew. I left it up to my children to make their own minds regarding the church. They certainly knew of God and how I was raised, but I left it to their own minds to make a decision.

I was fairly sure Edward and Jasper considered themselves agnostic, particularly since most churches shunned homosexuality. However Emmett and Alice were more like me in that they believed in a god but they didn't think going to church every week was necessarily the deciding factor if they were going to heaven or not.

I looked across the room at my oldest son and his wife. His hands were folded, his head was bowed and Rosalie gently stroked his back. Occasionally, I would see her lean towards him to whisper into his ear.

I often did the same for Esme, despite there was little encouragement she was feeling at this moment as her heart was breaking. I had barely heard ten words from her lips since we entered the hospital last night.

I held her close to me and waited. Every minute felt like an eternity.

We continued to wait in silent, but for the teelevision in the background.

After forty minutes, the young resident emerged from the hospital wing and asked for us. I stood to represent the family and he told me the chest tube procedure was complete and successful. He also said cloudy fluid had already started to drain.

We could continue to see him, but we would need to continue the special precautions since he had a highly contagious virus.

For the next twelve hours, we all took turns sitting with Edward, attempting to get a few minutes of fitful sleep and eating a few bites of a sandwich or granola bar.

It was well after the sun had set when we heard a pair of heels clicking on the tile floor as someone was obviously running down the hall. The door swung open and our daughter entered.

Alice ran into her mother's arms first before turning to give me a hug.

While buried in my arms, she demanded an update regarding Edward's health since she had not been available since earlier this morning. She managed to fly to the states this morning but had a long layover in New York before her connecting flight here to SeaTac Airport.

She called then and I updated her on the little that had happened since.

Edward's fever remained within the 101 range, but the doctors would not remove the cooling blanket or cool hydration until they were sure he was out of the woods. He was still highly sedated and on the ventilator. He did appear to be breathing slightly easier now since the chest tube was placed.

She spent time with Edward at his bedside until the nurses asked her to leave as it was after visiting hours.

The same evening, my parents also showed. They were in London at the time when I called, staying near my father's childhood home.

They, like Alice, had boarded the soonest plane they could.

They moved slower than my little Alice, but they opened the waiting room door with the same look of determination. My father was a powerful man and I knew if there was anything people could do or money could buy to make his grandson well again, it would be done. However despite our family's wealth and his connections to even wealthier people, there was nothing to do but wait.

"Mom, Dad," I greeted while standing to say hello.

"Carlisle," my mother called. She wrapped me in a motherly hug despite I was over a foot taller and almost fifty years old, "How are you holding up?"

I smiled weakly as I shook my father's hand, "About as well as can be expected."

Everyone stood to greet my parents, however I noticed Jasper holding to the back corner of the room.

Finally, it was Jasper's turn and I could see his discomfort and uncertainty. He had met my parents two other times; when Edward had taken CF from my father and during the winter gala. Neither time had gone easily as my father was still quite old fashioned.

My mother, however loved everyone she came across.

"Jasper," I said quietly, I waved him over. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and stood tall with him in front of my father, "you remember my mother, Elizabeth, and my father, Edward senior. Mom, father this is Jasper. Edward's boyfriend."

"Absolutely," Jasper said softly, "it is wonderful to see you both again. I just wished it was under better circumstances."

My mother immediately reached out to give him a kiss on the cheek and said, "It's wonderful to see you again, Jasper. Thank god you were there to care for Edward. We don't want to consider what would have happened if you weren't there."

Jasper nodded stiffly murmuring, "No, we certainly don't want to think about the worst."

He held his jaw in a tight position willing himself to shake my father's hand.

"Dad," I called out. "You remember Jasper don't you?"

"Of course, son," he answered, while shaking Jasper's hand briefly in response to his gesture. He dropped it as quickly as he took it and moved on to ask me about Edward.

Finally, it was becoming late and Jasper had offered their condo for us to stay however we all agreed to spend the night in the small, uncomfortable waiting room. If something happened, even being across the street from the hospital would have been too far.

Thank goodness nothing happened.

Early the next morning, we were allowed to visit again. Esme and I went in first, followed by my parents since they had not seen him yet.

Shortly, after nine o'clock rounds started again. I stayed close and learned Edward was responding well to the antibiotics since he was absorbing the fluids and no longer dehydrated per the labs from the blood they drew the previous night.

He was doing better, but in the back of my mind, there were just too many reasons to continue to fear the worst. I have seen too many people in my line of work that appear to be improving one day and the next take a turn for the worst. I was praying for the best, I wanted my son to live and be well, but I couldn't get my hopes up if something happened again.

When they were finished, the team of doctors left the room and left me alone at Edward's bedside for the first time since we arrived.

I pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat. I reached out and took his hand and said, "It's almost time to wake up, son. I'm glad. You've been giving us all quite a scare, especially your mom."

I paused for a moment then continued, "Jasper too. I'm sorry I never sat down and got to know him before. He seems like a nice young man. He certainly cares for you.

We were talking last night and we all agreed that there are a lot of changes we're going to have to make when you get out of here. I know you're going to hate that. For one, you need to slow down. Jasper says you work all day and night. I've always taught you kids to work hard to achieve the best, that's a good lesson to learn, but it needs to change when it becomes a detriment to your health.

I talked to your grandfather for a while last night. He decided to go ahead and call an emergency board meeting at CF to start making arrangements for your leave of absence now and when you come back."

At the time of his retirement, I encouraged Dad to retire fully, but he insisted that he wanted to keep one foot in the ring and he decided he would stay on the board of trustees at CF. He assured Edward at the time he had complete faith in his decision making abilities, but he also said something about getting bored just roaming around now that Mom was taking full advantage of his knowledge of destinations around the world.

In general, the board met twice per year unless there was an emergency. This certainly was one.

Technically speaking, Demetri, Edward's CFO was currently 'in charge' but no one was available to take Edward's full petition of responsibilities. Jasper explained to Dad last night what he knew about Edward's anxiety regarding the upcoming proposal with Aro, Inc.

Dad was immensely pleased with the steps Edward had gained with the stubborn CEO of the other company, that in prior attempts wanted nothing to do with a Cullen, but finally recognized the fact that CF was in business to make those men money and maximize earnings with public shareholders.

Edward appeared close to closing the deal, but no one was available to complete the proposal and meeting. As things stood, the meeting would have to be put off indefinitely.

There were many things to consider and thankfully Dad was still available to take care of those things. I never bore the interest of political debates and debauchery that were entailed in upper management and board committee of such a large company.

I sat a little longer thinking over the unexpected hazards of the business, such as Edward's stress and suffering before stepping out and rejoining my family.


	10. Chapter 10

It is very unlike me to tweak a chapter so severely after I write it, but I certainly did on this one.

FYI: the ending of this chapter is still the same but it's a different point of view. For those requesting: I wrote a short Alice. For those missing Jasper, he will be back soon.

Also, I want you to know I appreciate each and every person that reads and favorites and reviews my story.

As promised… Chapter 10.

I do not own twilight.

Chapter 10 – APOV

It was shortly before eleven o'clock when Dad finally emerged from the intensive care unit and sitting with Edward. I knew it was my turn to sit and spend time with Edward.

This was going to be the second time I was going to sit with my big brother in this place and it broke my heart.

The man in that bed, the broken, pale, unmoving man was not my brother. Just a shell of the strong stubborn soul that I grew up with.

He wasn't my fierce protector that Emmett was. Edward was my confidant and best friend.

It didn't feel like that long ago when Edward was living at home for a summer between semesters and I was graduating from high school.

We easily molded into our old habits.

Late at night, I would creep down the stairs to the kitchen. Without fail, I would find him sitting at the kitchen table eating a carton of ice cream. He always heard my tip toeing and without looking up, he would hold the second spoon out for me.

Mom, Dad, and Emmett never disturbed us, but I'm sure they knew.

In the otherwise quiet house, we would whisper our secrets.

He knew my first kiss before my besties at school knew. It was Eric Chu from my English class. It was wet and slobbery. Not at all romantic like they showed in the movies.

He just smiled a crooked grin and promised they would get better.

He told me about his friends at school, his roommates, his roommates' girlfriends.

I knew my brother was gay, but I wasn't going to push him until he was ready to admit it for himself.

Finally a few months later when he was home for Christmas break, he broke the news to us after dinner and before dessert. I wished at the time, just as I do now that Emmett could be more accepting and understand that Edward is our brother no matter who he loves.

At the same time, I understood where Emmett was coming from a little bit.

Edward and Emmett were never especially close as brothers. They never spoke like Edward and I did.

The news caught Emmett off guard and he didn't understand how to process the information Edward gave us.

For a long time, Emmett was stuck in the 1950s mindset where we were the perfect American family with two loving parents and three perfect children. The only thing missing was the dog. I was allergic.

HA! If only they knew the trouble I would get in when they weren't looking. I wasn't always the sweet little girl they made me out to be.

There were a lot of issues Emmett was battling with at the time.

His preconceptions were only one of them. Suddenly he felt the pressure to carry on the Cullen name like no one else did.

Dad was an only child. Who was going to fulfill the Cullen legacy after Edward?

He thought he knew his brother. They played sports together and he thought they wooed the girls at Forks High together. This is a different person than the man he thought he knew.

So here, I was stuck in the middle between my two brothers. I loved them both dearly, but I hated being caught between them.

Now there was no question, I am going to be on Edward's side. He needs me.

For as much as I love Emmett, I had to do this for Edward.

Dad came to sit next to me instead of Mom and placed his arm around my shoulders.

With the gentle, loving touch, tears filled my eyes and began to roll uncontrollably down my cheeks.

He rubbed my back and held me to him as I lost control.

Never in my life could I imagine that the phone call I received only three days ago was going to affect us all this way.

Slowly, I regained composure and wiped the last few tears from my cheeks.

Dad stroked my back again before letting go and sitting back in the chair.

I stood up and whispered an, "I love you, Daddy," before stepping out of the family room.

I stopped in the ladies room before entering Edward's room.

I saw my big brother laying in that bed motionless and it almost brought the tears back to the forefront.

I bit my trembling lip, attempting to hold back the sob that threatened to overtake me.

"Edward," I strained out, "why, Edward? Why won't you open your eyes and tell us all that you're fine and we're all worrying for nothing?

I know you hate being the center of attention at a time like this. You have to get better. I need you to. Mom and Dad are at their wits end. Emmett doesn't even know what to do. And poor Jasper, he needs someone to come home to.

Come on, big brother. Open your eyes and we can share a Dixie cup."

He still lay motionless without a flinch or a beep.

I thought about these past few years since we have been apart.

He was the first one to know that I was moving to Paris to pursue my passion in fashion and design.

I was the first one to know when he met Jasper, although Jasper certainly wasn't referred by name or gender yet.

Edward had called me during our weekly Sunday call and I instantly knew during his "Hello, Ali," that something was different.

He sounded giddy. My brother was never giddy.

I grilled him for a full hour while he threatened to hang up on me, threatened to forfeit my monthly care package of American Vogue and Oreos, but I persisted.

He finally admitted to having coffee with a special someone. With a bit more persistence, he admitted that coffee was more like a four hour talk in a coffee shop.

Every week I pestered him for an update. It was a two weeks later when he stuttered something about a kiss. I could practically hear him blushing over the phone.

I never heard Edward talk to this way about anyone. This was love.

After I knew Mom and Dad were out to visit him, I pushed him even further. Finally, he admitted that Jasper was a blonde hair, blue eyed Texan who comes complete with the cowboy boots and accent.

I basically swooned myself in my seat.

During his summer break, Edward brought Jasper home and we met for the first time. Unfortunately, Emmett had still not dealt well with the changes in Edward, so he was unable to stay for his own selfish reasons.

Mom, Dad, and I were just happy to see the wide grin on Edward's face every time Jasper entered the room.

A year later, Edward brought Jasper home to stay. Again, most of us were ecstatic.

I miss my brother, I miss him dearly.

"Edward, come on. Open your eyes. Please wake up. Please, Edward," I begged.

He continued to breathe evenly with the respirator. His heart monitor kept pace with his life sustaining force.

I sat softly murmuring more memories in his ear.

At some point, the nurse came in to record his vital signs and take his temperature again.

She acknowledged me slightly when she entered and I watched her carry on her business.

When she checked the number on the thermometer, she grimaced just slightly, but it was enough for me to take notice.

"What," I asked, "what is it? What's wrong?"

She looked up at me and said, "His temperature is 102.6. It's higher than it was this morning. I need to call Dr. Denali again."

"Oh, of course," I responded as she stepped out of the room.

It was only a few minutes later, as I was holding Edward's hand did the nurse return with a filled syringe in her hand.

She explained, "I just talked to Dr. Denali. He reported a higher dose of the acetaminophen to keep his fever down. We're also going to keep a close eye on his heart rate."

I glanced up on the screen and everything seemed to be working, but I was no doctor.

As the nurse worked, I held his hand and resumed my soft voice telling him about all the places we're going to visit when he comes to see me in France.

The nurse was about to step out when I felt a tight jerking movement of Edward's hand and arm. I initially hoped it was a sign of movement. Then I noticed the right side of his face and lip were making the same jerking motion.

The nurse noticed my expression and quickly registered Edward's abnormal movements.

Immediately, she stepped out the door and called the doctor that is always stationed at the ICU desk. I was quickly pushed out of the room as Edward was quickly surrounded by a team of nurses and doctors.

It was just a twitch right? What's going on? I need to know. Oh god, tell me what's happening.


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I am posting a few days early pending the fact that I may have no power for a few days.

Praying for all the people living on the east coast USA dealing with affects of the earthquake, hurricane and tornadoes this week. Be safe.

I will update when I can… unfortunately I don't believe this week will have any promises as to the next update but I will as soon as I can.

I will also attempt to respond to my reviewers as much as possible, but we are expecting to lose power and internet access for at least a few days.

Thanks again! Enjoy.

I do not own twilight

Chapter 11 – JPOV

When Alice came out and told us Edward was twitching and the nurse made a comment about his heart, my world stopped.

It didn't spin, our life together didn't flash before my eyes, it didn't feel like I was drawing my last breath. Everything just stopped.

After the longest moment of stone-cold silence, Carlisle jumped up and ran from the room. We all knew he was going to find Edward's nurse and Dr. Denali to find out what was going on.

None of the rest of us had any idea of what to do but sit and wait some more.

The minutes seemed to tick by slower than ever.

Time goes slowly when you have nothing to do but wait. That is why they call it a waiting room. But when something happens and you don't know what it is and there is nothing you can do about it, it feels like your heart is going to pound out of your chest, time seems to move at half the pace.

The news could not hold my attention. I don't believe anyone else was paying attention to the drabble on the television either.

The only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock. Was the battery dying? The time between each second seemed to last longer than I thought was possible.

Thirteen minutes and twenty-seven and a half seconds later, Carlisle re-entered the room.

His face was pale and drawn. His eyes were black.

It was a look I recognized from his son after a long, tiring day at CF. I have never seen Carlisle with this look. I hope never to see it again.

"Edward," he started. His voice cracked. He coughed then restarted, "Edward had a seizure."

Thank goodness Esme was already sitting. If she were standing, I was sure she would have fainted. The most predominant sound in the room was her hoarse sob.

I sat frozen in my chair watching as Carlisle wrapped his wife in his arms. I saw his shoulders shake and knew Carlisle shared the pain and tears with his wife.

Throughout the process, Carlisle has maintained his even personality with the sense that if he was here as a doctor, he could help and his son would be better for it.

Now, I didn't know where to place my hope.

Those two times I saw Edward attempting to breathe, my hopes soared, but now I wasn't sure what to do. If Carlisle with all of his knowledge and his faith had lost hope, I don't know how the rest of us could carry on.

My head dropped into my hands and I let the tears fall. As each one hit the floor, I squeezed my eyes closed tighter.

I felt Bella and Alice on either side of me move closer and tuck their heads onto each one of my shoulders. I felt them shake (or was it me shaking them) with sobs.

One by one, our cries quieted. None of us could smile or joke or even talk about the weather. I think for the moment, our tears had fallen and I felt the close bond of grief with all of the Cullens.

Slowly, Carlisle turned back to look at us. His eyes had turned from black to blood red caused by the hot, stinging tears. "I- I'm sorry," he croaked.

Alice jumped up from her chair which left my left shoulder cold to throw her arms around her father. "Daddy, no," she sobbed, "It's not your fault."

He wrapped his arms tighter around his daughter and dropped his head into her hair.

Meanwhile, Bella stayed tucked into my arm with her head balanced on my right shoulder. Bella and I were never best of friends, but we got along well enough.

During that year and a half when Edward was still at Dartmouth, the three of us spent a great deal of time together.

I learned of her family how she had to take care of her mother. She was able to understand my feelings when we discussed my parents deserting me.

My escape was studying history and spending the evening in Edward's arms. Her escape was her reading, she loved English novels such as Jane Eyre. I also knew she was an incredible cook. I ate better when she was over than I ever did in my life.

My momma was a damn good cook. I could hold my own, but Edward could barely boil water. But I didn't know you could make roast chicken that tasted so good and melted like butter on your tongue the way Bella made it.

The first time Bella and I really spent time together, she came to Edward's apartment a few days before our first date. Since the dorms didn't come with full kitchens she apparently frequented Edward's place to maintain those incredible cooking skills.

Lucky us, we were the guinea pigs for Bella's experimenting and expertise. The bad thing was that when Edward's roommates heard she was coming over, they would stalk the kitchen until whatever it was she was making was done then Bella would make us share.

The first meal she prepared was a stuff pork loin with nuts, apples and fresh cranberries with homemade mashed potatoes, green beans and a devils food cake with caramel icing for dessert. My god, by the time we were finished that meal, you had to roll me away from the table.

Why had I wasted money on a meal plan at school when I could have been eating Bella's food all along? Edward just smirked at me.

But dinner and cleaning, the three of us congregated in the small living room. We put on a funny movie, but ignored it most of the time as we gossiped like school girls.

Lisa, the strawberry blonde that lived in our building last year was rumored to have gotten knocked up and had to drop out of school. Mark, the guy we pass every day on the way to the library in the afternoons has a dick the size of a quarter.

When Edward stood and excused himself to the bathroom, Bella and I sat in awkward silence for a few minutes. It's amazing how the conversation could just dwindle so fast without Edward there.

Finally, I remembered Edward said she was from Florida. We made small talk about our home towns for a little while, but it was enough to start a quiet bond.

Now, Bella and I clung to each other. We were so different and yet we were the same. We were alone in our grief. The Cullens surrounded us as a strong family unit but Bella and I were outsiders. As much as I wanted to be, I was not a Cullen.

Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Rose did their best to make us feel included in the process, but at times like this, it was inevitable that we be on the outside.

I wrapped my arm tightly around Bella's shoulders and dropped my head on top of hers. A few tears escaped my eyes as we pondered the unknown.

I looked around the room at the others. Alice sobbed quietly as Carlisle continued to wrap his arms around her. Emmett sat close to his mother with his arms around her, almost dwarfing her by his huge frame. Rosalie sat close with her hand gently rubbing his shoulder. Edward, sr. sat stoicly against the wall with his grieving wife next to him who was crying quiet tears.

There were few movements and fewer words until the door swung open. We all turned towards it and saw Dr. Denali enter the room.

He walked straight to Carlisle and said in a low, calm voice, "Carlisle, if you would like to have a family meeting, now would be a good time. Gather whomever you would like to participate and we will discuss Edward's current status and any plans."

Carlisle tightened his arms slightly around Alice for a brief hug, then let her go. As he did, he turned to look at each of us and whispered, "Please, come with me and hear what Eleazar has to say."

We all stood and quietly filed out of the room. We followed Dr. Denali to a small conference room that wasn't far.

We sat around the conference table and waited for Dr. Denali to speak from the front of the room.

He took an audible deep breath before beginning, "My name is Eleazar Denali. I have known Carlisle for years and I have been in charge of Edward's care since he was admitted on Wednesday.

I know you are aware that Edward came in with a high fever and signs of dehydration with signs of the recent flu bug that has been going around. He also has had chest congestion and some difficulty breathing. We have been giving him fluids and medicine to lower the fever.

Up until this point, he seemed to be responding to our efforts to lower his temperature with the medications and cooling fluids and blankets. Unfortunately, this evening his fever spiked again.

He has been on the ventilator for three days and we were forced to place the chest tube on Thursday morning. It has been draining the white, cloudy fluid which is related to the pneumonia that we saw on his chest x-rays.

Last night, Edward seemed to be doing better with less strain on his breathing and his temperature was lowering. We discussed lowering his ventilator settings to allow him to start breathing on his own a bit more. This morning we began to lower his sedation and paralytic medication.

This afternoon, Edward began to experience some seizure activity. We have reintroduced the sedation and have started anti-seizure medication through his IV.

We have also began an EEG to monitor his brain wave function for other seizures."

With this information we each held our breath and stared at the doctor with widened eyes.

"So far there has been no other activity, however we will continue to monitor him for the next few hours."

And we all exhaled at the same time.

He continued, "We will continue everything we can to lower his fever. My concern at this point is his breathing. If he is unable to show any signs of breathing on his own within the next three to four days, we may need to consider a tracheotomy."

My breath caught in my throat as I considered them cutting my love's throat for a breathing tube. Just the thought sent a horrid chill down my spine. I then spoke up, "But he was trying. The nurse said he was trying to breathe yesterday while I was speaking to him. She said he was trying to breathe around the tube."

Dr. Denali nodded towards me and responded, "well, that is a good initial sign. You all should continue to keep track of any reactions he may give you while you are visiting. I encourage you all to visit, however I am going to reinforce the rules of the ICU that visitors remain quiet. We do not want to cause any extraneous movements or noise that could cause further seizures or difficulties for Edward."

We all nodded in agreement that we would not cause Edward any further distress than he was already feeling.

Dr. Denali looked at us all again before stating, "I must go to attend to some things, but first, are there any questions?"

We were silent for a moment before Edward's grandfather asked, "What are the chances that my grandson will wake from this unharmed?"

Dr. Denali nodded slightly before stating, "Every year we see approximately five to six patients with the flu each year. Most come in with a high fever and the cough."

He paused before placing his words carefully, "Most go home after their stay without any last side effects."

"And in Edward's case," Edward senior asked.

Eleazar glanced towards Esme's swollen eyes before responding diplomatically, "It's impossible to know at this point. We will have to wait and see."

Edward nodded shortly while realizing he was not going to receive a definite answer. I wasn't sure there was one to give.


	12. Chapter 12

So what is there to do when you're stuck in the house and it's raining and the wind is blowing so hard you can barely stand up straight? Apparently you write. I was one of the very lucky ones in my area that did not lose power, so YAY! I still have computer access.

This is a LONG chapter. It's really more 2 chapters in one, but I decided all of these short chapters were getting kind of long, so here we go! I hope you ALL enjoy this one

I do not own twilight.

Chapter 12 - JPOV

Dr. Denali left while stating he had other patients and paperwork to attend to. We all continued to sit in the quiet room thinking over what we were just told.

We were just told, in not so many words, that the doctors aren't sure if Edward is going to live his normal life again. Dr. Denali said most go home. We didn't have to ask what happened to the small percentage of those who never made it home again.

How do you process that? How can you live each day with that kind of information in your mind when he's in there fighting for his life? I guess in our own way, we all accepted what we were told enough to stand and walk back to the waiting room.

That walk, only a few feet down the hall was like walking through a tunnel. Nothing else mattered that was outside of these walls.

I remembered my promise.

Finally, after sitting in the silence for too long of a time although it was realistically only a few minutes, I realized that it was my turn to see Edward.

We set up a rotating system. Esme and Carlisle would visit first. Edward and Elizabeth would follow. That would be followed by Emmett and Rosalie, Alice, me, then Bella. There was no precise time limit, but we tried to be respectful of each other and kept it between an hour or two.

I assumed that despite the complications since Alice saw him last, I was next in line. Also no one else seemed to be in the state of mind to be able to move at this time.

Silently, I stood from my chair and left the room.

Upon entering Edward's room, the monitors continued to move with jagged lines and the IV pumps were continuing to pump fluids, antibiotics and other medications into his body, the breathing tube was taped to his lip.

The difference was seeing him with dozens of tiny sensors taped to his skull between the strands of messy bronze hair. He remained unmoving and appeared to be in a deep sleep and unaware of all that was going on around him.

My jaw quivered and I somehow managed to keep the stinging tears from falling across my cheeks.

"Edward," I whispered as I gripped his hand. "I'm here, Edward. Please never ever scare us like that ever again. Please you need to breathe. Show us that you're in there. You did it before. I know you can do it again. Come on Edward, try for me."

The room was still but for the movement of the monitors and ventilator.

I continued to speak and beg for the next hour with no outward response from Edward. I told him how much I loved him. I told him all of the things that we were going to do when he got better. For sixty minutes, I lived in the dreamland of utopia while attempting to forget that my beloved was fighting for his life.

Finally, I laid a tiny kiss to his forehead and whispered, "Live, baby. Live so you can be whole. Live so that we can be together. You are my life, Edward. You are my eternity."

I stepped out of the room, stopped in the men's room to wash any evidence of my unshed tears down the sink, then returned to the waiting room.

When I entered and immediately met the sad, brown eyes of Bella who was sitting near the door the tears threatened to spring up again, but I pushed them back down.

She grabbed my hand before standing and taking her turn to spend her time at Edward's side.

The entire weekend remained the same. We took turns spending our time with Edward. The only difference was on Saturday, we also took turns driving to the condo Edward and I shared to shower and rest with the promise to call each other with any changes.

No calls were made. Edward did not show any response to any of us. The only positive was that his fever did not rise any higher and he did not exhibit any more seizures.

My time in the house felt like I was in a black hole.

This place was only a building without him here. It would never be my home again until Edward met me at the front door.

I could still smell his cologne lingering as he met me at the bottom of the steps on Sunday mornings. Him wearing a pair of cargo shorts and a soft cotton t-shirt, me in a pair of faded jeans and a light buttoned shirt.

It was the only time during the week, when it was just us. What we used to be. The Edward that I met those years ago.

Each Sunday morning we would walk up the road hand in hand, ignoring the funny looks because we were in love. They didn't matter.

We would go to our favorite coffee shop in Seattle where he would order a vanilla latte for me and a double espresso for himself.

On nice days, we would take the long way back to our place through the park and occasionally we would turn and walk on the waterfront. It didn't matter where we were or what we were doing; we just enjoyed every moment we spent together.

Thank god we did. Those are the moments that I live for now that are keeping me going to give me that tiny sliver of hope that 5 out of 6 people do come home.

We would always be home before noon. They were the best mornings of my life. I would look forward to Sundays all week.

Of course, after lunch he would lock himself away in the office again working himself to the bone until I called him down for dinner.

So I found myself wandering through the halls of the place that I have called home for almost a year. I stopped in front of his closed office door and leaned my head against it.

A single tear marked its trail down my cheek. I felt it burn all of th way down until it dripped away from my chin.

When the single tear had been shed, I turned the handle and swung the door open. I stared, only for a moment before my Texas temper got the best of me.

I couldn't hold back the hurt and the pain any longer. I was angry. If there was a God why would he do this to us? Why would he do this to my Edward?

I waved my arms out and all of the contents on top of Edward's desk were scattered in less than a second.

I turned around and grabbed the printed picture of the Seattle skyline and threw it on the ground, shattering the glass into thousands of tiny fragments.

I turned to the bookshelves stacked with our college texts and literature that lined the perpendicular wall next to his desk.

I was ready to throw the books, tear the pages and take my anger out on the defenseless pages, when a thin spiral bound notebook peaked at me from the corner of the shelf.

Hesitantly I reached out and pulled the thin 60 sheet book out of its place. Flipping it open to the first page I saw the first poem. It was short, but it meant everything.

Love,  
>My life,<br>Being, Living, Breathing,  
>I am yours forever<br>My Edward.

I scribbled it on the page when I was supposed to be writing my final dissertation report, but my mind kept wandering to the man I loved. I missed him so much when he was across the country.

He may be physically closer now, but he felt so much further away.

I flipped absent mindedly through the wrinkled pages before stuffing the book into the bag I carried with me.

I was taking a few books and work that I had to do with me back to the hospital.

I wasn't really planning on getting much done, however I knew that if I wanted to keep this job and have any shot at tenure in a few years, I needed to get some work done.

I had a few ideas as to how I could manage the two classes I was teaching this semester, but I would need to do some prep work and talk to the dean early Monday morning.

Sighing, I backed out of our office, grabbed a few changes of clothes and a handful of granola bars to stuff into my bag and headed back to the hospital.

~~~~~TF~~~~~

We all bore the longest 48 hours of any of our lives. Few words were spoken between us. I drank more stale coffee and stale vending machine pretzels in the past few days than I cared to consider.

Finally, it was Monday morning.

We all knew in the back of our minds that each day Edward did not respond was a day closer to possibly requiring the tracheotomy, but we all carried the same hope as well.

Edward had not made another attempt to take a deep breath or shown any recognition to our presence, but he showed those tiny signs of improvement.

Each tenth of a degree that his fever lowered became a chance to hope, we stopped just short of a celebration.

The doctors slowly lowered the level of sedation Edward was receiving. Although we had no outward signs that he was hearing us, he did not have another seizure and his brain wave function on the EEGs showed at least part of our Edward was still with us.

On Monday morning, Edward senior left the hospital at eight o'clock to attend the emergency board meeting to address the needs at Cullen Financial until my Edward would be well enough to resume his duties.

I had my turn to sit with Edward early in the morning and again later in the afternoon.

Alice was never one to sit still for too long and always provided an extra few minutes with me to be with Edward. We were all hoping that he would respond in some little way to my presence as he had before.

Alice would run down stairs to the gift shop and the cafeteria at regular intervals to buy drinks and snacks. Unfortunately none of us were particularly hungry at the time, but we nibbled and sipped on a few things that she brought us.

Alice and Carlisle liked to remind us on a consistent basis that Edward needs us all to be in top shape. He needs us to support him at this difficult time so that means we need to drink and eat and sleep.

I know Carlisle also spent each morning with the medical team for rounds. Each time he would return, we would wait with bated breath. Unfortunately, his downtrodden look answered any and all questions for us over those immensely difficult two days.

Edward returned from his meeting at CF after three o'clock in the afternoon. He sat quietly for a few minutes before Emmett was able to break into the subject saying, "How did it go, Granddad?"

Edward, senior shrugged slightly before starting, "it went as expected. Demetri is going to continue the day to day operations at CF. The difference between last week and this week is that he going to have answer to me and the board until Edward is able to return."

I remember meeting Demetri a few times during work events that Edward dragged me to. He was tall and exuded power. He had dreams of power and wealth, thus the board was correct in keeping a close eye on any of his dealings.

I didn't think he would be stupid enough to steal from the company or make decisions that could end CF though, it was through the Cullens that he was able to make millions of dollars.

Emmett's grandfather continued, "I agreed to go into the office a few hours per week to handle any necessary business. Lauren will contact me if anything urgent comes up."

"A large portion of my time spent was on the phone with Aro. I understand Edward was on the verge of negotiating a deal with him," he stated while nodding at me.

I maintained eye contact as he continued, "Aro and I lived in the same building when I was in college. There was a reason he never signed with CF when I was running the company. We couldn't stand one another. We talked on the phone today for over an hour. I explained the current situation and he agreed not to pursue other opportunities until Edward is well enough to complete the presentation."

I bit my lip and nodded. No one knew exactly what was happening with Edward. We certainly had no idea when Edward would be well enough to wake or be discharged from this place, much less when he would be prepared to work again.

All we could do was hope that everything would work out for CF and for Edward. We were all financially settled, so we had few worries regarding our current situation, but the thousands of people Edward employed were all counting on the Cullen brand to stand up in the toughest of times.

Shortly after we moved into our new condo, Edward thought it would be best to draw up papers to secure my place as his executor in order to ensure that if anything ever did happen to him I wouldn't lose the house.

I left those financial matters up to him most days and I just signed my name on the line where he asked. I trusted him, was it possible that I trusted him too much?

After I signed those papers, he handed me a bankcard, then he told me that most of all his net earnings were going to be placed in a joint account for the two of us to use. Before I could register what he was doing, he showed me a outlined piece of paper that had more zeros on it than I knew what to do with.

I obviously knew Edward's family was wealthy and therefore Edward was himself especially when he took over the company, but when he told me that what was his was also mine, I almost feinted.

I thought about it for a while then became angry. I didn't want to be his trophy boyfriend. I didn't want things to change between us. He tried to insist that nothing had to change, he just wanted us to be secure, but I knew that was not true. I wasn't going to earn even half of what he was giving me, but he was true to his word.

He never flashed the money around when we went out (other than driving around in his car), we still enjoyed our walks and coffee. He always asked my opinion if we were going to buy something new for the house.

We would have more than enough money to buy that vacation to a tropical island for a year without blinking an eye.

Right now, work was not a priority for me. The only thing that mattered was Edward. The only thing that continued to bother me was we were a few weeks into the semester and the students were expecting me to teach class twice per week.

I needed to call my dean and find out what my options were. Glancing at the clock, I figured he should be in his office at this time in the afternoon. I pulled out my phone and excused myself from the prying ears of the Cullen family.

I snuck back to my cubby hole a few yards away and found the number for Dean Alexander. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hello," I heard his tenor voice ring in my ear.

"Hello, Doctor Alexander, this is Jasper Hale," I responded easily.

"Ahhh, Jasper," he responded lightly, "How are you doing? How is your friend?"

I sighed and said, "I'm hanging in there the best I can, sir. Unfortunately Edward has not woken up and he is still in the intensive care unit." I continued to give him a brief rundown of everything that had taken place since I had spoken to the dean a week ago. I can't believe that it has only been a week.

"So what can I do for you, Jasper," he asked after I had finished my recollection of the week.

"Well, sir," I started, "At this point, I am unable to leave the hospital, so I am afraid that would be another week of missed classes. I don't want you to misunderstand me, sir. I greatly appreciate and enjoy my job, but Edward is my family. I can't leave him now when he needs me."

Dr. Alexander listened to my plight and thought about the options for a few minutes before asking me, "so what options do we have at this time, Doctor Hale?"

I bit my lip before replying, "Sir, I have a syllabus and my students have assignments to complete. As well as those assignments, I was wondering if I could continue my lectures as an online course."

"Hmmm," I heard him hum over the telephone line, "that is an intriguing idea, Jasper. You are willing to continue your classes and assignments from where you are then?"

"Yes, sir," I said with much more enthusiasm from his positive reaction to my idea. I continued, "I will continue to follow the syllabus. I hope to be able to make up any missed lessons from last week in the next day or two and I will post video lectures on the website as well as tests.

"The students should be able to complete their work and leave it in my office so I can pick it up on my way home from the hospital."

"That is a wonderful idea, Jasper," he praised. "I look forward to auditing your lectures myself."

Great. Dr. Alexander would be watching my videos as well. "Th-thank you, sir," I stuttered.

We exchanged pleasantries again, before hanging up. Just as I stood and stepped out of narrow hiding place, Alice came running towards me.

I barely had time to react when she cried my name, "Jasper!"

She called out while flinging her tiny body into my arms, "He moved. He tried. He moved his hands. I saw it. He's alive!"


	13. Chapter 13

I promised a Saturday update and it's still Saturday. It may be a bit later than I initially intended, but I've been working hard on this one today.

Hooray! We're getting closer! Edward moved! I guess I can admit now, Edward isn't going to die. If he was that would be very mean to drag this story out for more than 10 chapters.

This chapter is rated M with lemon! If you don't like lemonade then skip the ***** part. If you do like lemons then I hope you enjoy.

Thank you all for your well wishes. I love all of my readers!

And I do not own twilight or Stephanie Meyer.

Chapter 13 – JPOV

I released Alice from my embrace so quickly that she almost fell to the ground. I caught her by the crook of her elbow while apologizing quickly before bolting myself to the closed, locked doors that separated me from Edward.

I rang the bell as usual and waited.

It felt like hours had passed before the nurse answered my call and asked for my name.

Apparently the rest of the family had already entered the room and the young nurse was hesitant to allow me to enter as his room was already over capacity.

Alice came behind me and I heard the same tone I had only heard from Carlisle once and from Edward a few times when he was engaged in an intense business meeting.

"This is Alice Cullen, Edward's sister in bed three. My family has entered and I require entry," she demanded.

The nurse on the other side of the damn doors was still hesitant to push to button and Alice started to lose her cool saying, "Please get your nursing manager on the floor and Dr. Denali. They will let us in."

We continued to wait another few minutes before the door ahead of us buzzed to allow us in.

We stepped through and Alice shot the darkest look I had ever seen from her bright green eyes towards the nurses station where a young nurse was sitting. She was obviously doing her best to avoid any eye contact with us.

It only took a few more steps to arrive at Edward's room.

The family was crowded around the doorway and I was able to see over their heads to watch Dr. Denali assess Edward.

Unfortunately, Alice was too little and had to wait, but we could all hear clearly Dr. Denali's yell as he attempted to direct Edward to open his eyes and move his hands.

When the evaluation was finally complete, he stepped towards us. The hoard of the family separated to allow him through and we all turned to see what his final results were.

He primarily directed himself towards Carlisle as Dr. Denali reported, "I witnessed Edward squeezing his left hand however he will not respond to commands or soothing stimulation so his movements right now appear to be reflexive. He did respond to the painful stimuli, but he is not yet opening his eyes or making any sounds."

I sighed lowly as my high hopes that Edward was awake were quickly dashed.

Dr. Denali continued, "I scored him as a 6 on the Glasgow Coma Scale. He is still very much unaware, but keep in mind that he has been given many medications for sedation as well. As we continue to wean those medications down we will hopefully continue to see more responses.

"As well, when you are sitting with him, you may provide some low level interaction. Nothing loud or overstimulating as we don't want him to regress, but if you talk to him or hold his hand to let him know you are here, he may begin to respond as he wakes."

The doctors final words calmed some of the pain that wrenched my aching heart. My Edward was going to get better.

Prior to this moment, I knew it as a hope. We all had been praying that he would recover even through the most difficult of moments. Now we began to hear the optimism in Dr. Denali's words.

A huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Dr. Denali turned to leave us in order to make notes regarding what he saw of Edward's responses in his chart.

Obviously we all couldn't stay huddled in and around Edward's room this afternoon, so we each took a quick moment to give Edward our encouragement before stepping out of the ICU.

I was the last to leave the room, but for Bella as it was her turn to stay and sit with Edward given our rotating schedule. I took his hand in my own whispered my love in his ear and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before leaving the room.

It was hours before it was my turn to sit with him again and I counted each minute. I was anxious to see him, to talk to him while hoping that somewhere in his unconscious state he could hear me.

I sat in the waiting room with the family with my knee bouncing and fidgeting in my chair.

I knew I had promised Dr. Alexander that my first online video course would be posted on Tuesday morning and I needed to prepare, however I was truly unable to think about anything else other than my love in this moment.

I remembered when Edward wanted to go skiing a few months prior to his graduation.

He was excited to go and so much of that enthusiasm had rubbed off on me. We were going to take a long weekend trip up to Vermont where he rented suite at a winter wonderland resort.

We chatted about all of the time we could spend on the mountain as well as the ice skating, snowmobiling and snow shoeing we could do during our time.

When we arrived and checked into our room, I had just enough time to drop my bags and change my clothes into some warmer waterproof layers before Edward was pushing me out the door towards my first mountain.

Growing up in Texas, I had only seen snow on television and during one vacation in January to see my Uncle Jack in Virginia.

I had spent enough time in New Hampshire now that snow was no longer the novel idea it had once been, but when I stood at the top of the mountain looking down with nothing but skis on my feet and two thin sticks in my hands I became much wearier at the prospect of skiing.

Edward had chuckled at the alarmed look in my eyes, gave me a kiss and assured me that this was only the bunny slope. Unfortunately his reassuring words were not calming my pounding heart in that moment.

He walked my through the basic steps of snow plowing, turning and stopping with my skis on before taking my hand and pushing us off the top of the slope.

I have to say the first time down the hill was not terrible. Edward stayed while close holding my hand and directed me where to go.

Unfortunately, the second time I was not so lucky. After almost slamming into a ski lift pole then a six year old child who could ski circles around me, I decided to spent more time on the flat surface at the bottom of the mountain while Edward ran a couple of complex runs.

No big deal. He would just ride up to the top of the mountain on the lift and ski back down. He should be back in a forty minutes, tops.

An hour went by. Then an hour and fifteen minutes went by.

Finally after almost an hour and a half, I saw his tall form meandering down the side of the hill with another guy. Edward's cheeks were rosy red and his eyes were shining bright. He didn't even notice me as he chatted with the unknown person on the mountain.

Jealousy stormed threw me. I ignored my skis and clomped through the doorway of the main lodge in my boots. I basically threw them at the rental attendant before snatching my shoes back and making my way to our room.

I was cold, I was hungry and I was insanely jealous. It wasn't the best combination at the moment and the only things I could control now were the chill that iced me through my bones and my stomach. I picked up the telephone, ordered a hamburger from room service and filled up the Jacuzzi hot tub that was in our room.

My hamburger arrived shortly then I stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the steaming and bubbling bath.

I don't know how long I laid there as time began to become meaningless as my anger and jealousy brewed, but when I heard his key in the door, I wanted nothing but to jump out and show him my rage.

Instead, I laid silently in the tub ignoring his presence.

I heard him move around the bedroom, most likely changing out of his skiing clothes and move into the shower.

When he emerged, his skin was pink and he had a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Hey, babe," he said as if nothing was wrong, "I was wondering where you went off to."

I barely acknowledged him with a nod of my head.

He reached out to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him away from me and for the first time, he took in the pained look that must have been registered all over my face.

"Jasper," he whispered, "what's wrong? What happened?"

I closed my eyes for a moment and swallowed hard before croaking out, "Who was he?"

There was a pause before he responded, "Who was who? I don't know who you're talking about Jazz."

My eyes flashed to his face. He was going to make me spell this out word for word, "the guy, Edward. The guy who you were flirting with all of the way down the mountain. Tall, muscular, brown hair. You two were laughing the whole way down."

Edward didn't respond for long enough that I was forced to look up to his expression to see if he was carrying a guilty look. Instead I saw nothing but shock and confusion. His green eyes were wide and his eyebrows pinched together.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity he responded, "The guy I skied down with the first time? His name is Tom. His wife and kids were down at the spa. That was nothing, Jazz, I swear. We were just talking."

I stared at Edward's shocked features for another moment before turning and soaking in the tub without a word.

Edward reached down to get into the tub next to me before saying, "Really, Jasper, I swear. We met at the top of the hill and he was having some trouble getting his boot to click in so I helped him. We talked for a little bit on the way down. It didn't mean anything."

I heard his words start to turn desperate and I turned to him and whispered, "a wife and kids?"

"Yeah, baby. He has a wife and two little boys. I met them when we were on the ground. Cute little guys. Brown hair and rosy cheeks. Eric and Sam I believe their names were."

Just like that, all of my anger dissipated. I leaned closer to where Edward was sitting and said, "I'm sorry, Edward. I just saw you talking to him and it made me so mad. I was so mad that I had trouble getting down the bunny slope."

Edward showed me his crooked smile and moved the rest of the way towards me so our thighs and shoulders touched and said, "It's okay. Just remember that I love you and you are it for me. You are my forever, Jasper. I may talk to other guys sometimes, but it means nothing. No one can hold a candle to you, babe.

And about the skiing, if you want to try it again tomorrow we will, but if you don't we can find something else to try."

I pushed myself fully up against my love, pinning him between myself and the edge of the tub saying, "I can think of something I know we're both good at."

I pressed my lips firmly against his and demanded his complete attention while pressing my groin against his leg.

Edward groaned beneath me and arched his lean body from his seat back into me.

I felt his hands move down my sides in search of my hardness, but I stopped him with my own as I gripped his erection tightly within my grasp. A few strokes down his length had him groaning already for his own release.

I pushed him out of the water and ran my tongue down to trail my tongue up his thigh, around his balls and along the length of his cock.

I dropped my mouth around the tip of him and sucked my cheeks in and lowered my head until I felt him tickle the back of my throat.

He groaned with the movement and shifted his hips upwards toward my mouth. With a slight adjustment, I was able to extend my throat and take his long manhood fully into my mouth and throat. I moved a few times against his length and provided alternating suction.

It only took a few strokes before he was crying my name and providing his release down my throat.

He softened on my tongue and I gently released him as he lay boneless on our hotel room floor.

I crawled completely out of the hot tub to lay next to him. Kissing his ear I whispered, "I'm sorry, love. I don't know what came over me."

He sighed while opening his eyes and turning to look at me, "I know, babe. It's okay. Just promise me if you ever get jealous again you'll talk to me about it. Then you'll work me again just like that. Damn babe, that was incredible."

I gave him a half smile before removing myself from the floor and helping him up to our bed.

Opening my eyes, I looked around the room and saw Edward's family engaged in their menial tasks to pass the time.

Carlisle and Esme were missing now and must be sitting with Edward.

Edward was reviewing some business journal as Elizabeth was reading a book.

Alice was still staring at some fashion magazines as Emmett was playing a game on a Nintendo DS. Rose was drawing and Bella was working on a book of Sudoku puzzles next to me. No one had any idea the naughty memories I was just reliving.

The next three days passed the same. I spent my time with Edward before returning to the room and attempting to form notes to record my next lecture.

The first one I did was easy as it was for an undergraduate prerequisite American history class about the classifications of militia during the revolutionary war.

There were certain things that I loved about history. The static nature of the distant past, the new occurrences that we experience that become history and the lessons that we can learn about society and behavior regarding decisions made in the past and present.

A large part of me wondered what lessons the Cullens and I would learn from this experience of spending days in the hospital and the long waiting.

The waiting was always the hardest part. The changes in Edward's condition were slow, but improving nonetheless.

He continued to demonstrate spontaneous movement, first in his hand then in his arm and leg. They were not spasmatic enough that the doctors were concerned regarding more seizures, but he still did not follow directions or open his eyes.

Every day I sat at his bedside and prayed. Please Edward, open your eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you for bearing through chapter 13 with me. I know, end of chapter 12 was like a big tease and I believe the ongoing request in ALL of my lovely reviews said something like "Open your eyes Edward!" We've waited long enough. Hmmmmm…. Can I drag this out for another 13 chapters?

It seems some of you can read my mind and aren't surprised that I dragged out the waiting process, but that is exactly what it is when your loved one is sick. You wait and you wait and you wait. I'm trying to be true to my story, true to me. I just didn't think a o/s of Edward's sick, goes to the doctor, gets better sounds like a very interesting story so we're almost there! I PROMISE!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing

I do not own Edward, Jasper or anything else twilight.

Chapter 14 - JPOV

It was Friday evening. Edward had been here for ten full days.

I have spent almost every one of those moments within these plaster walls of the waiting room and his room a few yards away.

How much longer? No one had an answer to that question.

Every day we were assured that his condition was improving as his fever was almost completely gone and the doctors had all but stopped any sedation medications they had been giving him.

Why wasn't he waking up yet?

The doctors left the breathing tube and all of the catheters in and seemed prepared for him to succumb to the worst again.

I sat at his bedside for my few hours per day and prayed. It had been years since I prayed to God.

I was raised going to church every Sunday with each of the other families in our town. I heard the preacher pounding on the lectern and if we did this or that we would go to hell.

Trust me; I had done many of those things and more. During my senior year of high school, I stopped attending with my family. I stopped praying to whomever they said was up there. But I never discounted the fact that there was likely a higher power above us.

So I held my lover's hand, squeezed my eyes shut and prayed.

Maybe it was a selfish prayer that I sent up. Maybe that's why he wasn't waking up.

God… save my Edward. Don't let him leave us now. Don't leave me alone in this world.

Because that's exactly what I'd be. Alone.

I had a few friends, but they weren't my Edward. He was my best friend. He knew everything there was to know about me.

And I had no family I could turn back to. The Cullens were the closest thing I had to a family.

Carlisle and Esme had always accepted me into their home. As uncomfortable as I felt some of those occasions, they did their best to include me in their traditions.

On Christmas, Esme made sure I had a stocking hanging from the mantle right next to Edward's. For Independence Day, I was always invited to participate in the annual Forks baseball game. I usually sat on the sidelines and cheered for Edward, as I was never the most athletic, but they did their best to include me anyway.

Alice was harder because she lived halfway around the world. But either way, when she sent Edward boxes of designer suits and casual clothes, she made sure to add many things in my size as well.

Then there was Emmett… Emmett and I had made an uncomfortable truce in our waiting during this week and a half.

After I was forced to participate in a tense conversation with Edward's grandfather about anything I knew about CF or the location of Edward's notes and files in the house, I felt more uncomfortable with the old man than I could fathom. He made me feel about two inches tall with just a few words.

Later that same day, Emmett pulled me down into a nearby chair and whispered in my ear what a son of a bitch the old man could be. It was impossible for the older Edward to make peace with me.

I knew it had nothing to do with what I knew or didn't know about CF, but more because I was not who he would have chosen for his favorite grandchild. I could have been anyone, male or female, and chances are his grandfather would be looking down his nose at me and I could not have met his expectations.

I made my deal with God.

Please save my Edward. Bring him back to me soon. I will go to church, I will give everything I have. I need him with me.

I slowly stood and leaned over him. I touched his cheek which finally felt cool under my fingers.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered. "Come back to me soon."

I moved the paper mask away from my face and pressed a lingering kiss to his head.

He remained still. He did not squeeze my hand or respond to my touch. I heard the movement of the nurse outside of the room and quickly replaced the mask.

"I'll see you soon," I promised before stepping out of the room to allow Bella her time with her friend.

As usual, the family was sitting in the hard chairs lining the perimeter of the room. Emmett and Rose were missing possibly wander the halls of the hospital or in the cafeteria to keep from going stir crazy in this room. I knew they would not be far.

Carlisle was sitting in the corner with Esme's head leaning against his shoulder. Her eyes were closed, however I doubted that she was sleeping.

Elizabeth and Edward were sitting opposite their son. Edward appeared to be studying the news intently as they discussed a further depression of the stock market index this week.

Alice sat closest to the door with a fashion magazine in her hand. She glanced up to me as I entered and offered a tight smile. Bella sat two chairs away from Alice, she was silent and unmoving against the wall. She opened her eyes to register my presence. I nodded towards her and she moved to sit with Edward.

I pretended to be preparing for my next lecture that I would have to video sometime this weekend. It was never this difficult to concentrate on my lectures and American history. I didn't see the words on the page as I was staring into my own dreamland again.

My eyes must have closed and I must have dozed off to sleep because the next thing I knew was the sun was shining through the window next to the door. I stretched and checked the time. It was almost nine o'clock. We were allowed visiting hours between seven in the morning to nine o'clock at night.

I was only awake for a few minutes before Emmett and Rosalie entered the room. Emmett turned to nod at Alice, but she turned to me.

"Jasper," Alice said, "I want you to go. He'll respond to you. Like he did before. I know he will."

I wasn't about to argue spending more time with my Edward, but I didn't want his sister to miss her time either.

"It's okay," she said seeming to read my thoughts, "I will go see him after you and Bella."

I leaned over in my chair to give her a quick hug before heading out to the intensive care unit doors.

I followed the same protocol that we all had to follow the past eleven days.

I washed my hands with the special hand sanitizer, pulled on the gown and mask and entered the cold glass room where my Edward lay.

I sat in the same chair and held his left hand and spoke the same quiet prayers that I only remembered from Sunday school years ago.

When I couldn't remember any more Bible stories, I made some up.

Finally, my voice gave out, I dropped my head to his still shoulder and I cried. I had shed plenty of tears over these days, but these tears could not be halted. They could not be slowed, and I didn't care.

No one was close enough to hear me but Edward.

I thought about all of the chances I missed.

Would we have gotten this far if I hadn't taken the moment to kiss him in the coffee shop?

What would have happened if I said yes the first time he asked me out?

What if I hadn't moved to Seattle to be with him?

Where would I be now?

Would he be here now if I did something different?

I stifled a heaving sob into the thin fabric of his hospital gown.

"I'm sorry, baby," I whispered against his chest. "I'm sorry I didn't have the guts to tell you how much I loved you the first day I saw you looking at me across the green."

Filling my lungs up with air I breathed, "I love you babe. I love you so much."

The air around me was still. I did my best to control the tears before sitting up and putting myself back together.

At that moment, I paused. I noticed a slight touch against my hand.

I startled upright in my chair and stared at the sight before me.

His thumb stroked my hand. His green eyes were open.

~~~~~EPOV~~~~~

The first thing I was aware of was pain.

I had a burning sensation in my chest.

I tried to breathe but there was something stuck down my throat.

I tried to raise my hands to remove it but they felt like lead bricks but it took all of my strength and power

I heard faint voices in the background. Nothing loud enough for me to make out the voices or the words, but I knew someone was there.

I tried to take a deep breath again to call out for help.

Nothing. Whatever this thing was that was in my throat was keeping me from moving, from talking.

I was trapped.

The blackness pulled me under again.

Every so often, my mind would open again and it was the same.

The burning pain.

The terrible feeling of something jabbed down my throat

Sometimes I would hear a mechanical beeping noise in the background.

But always the voices. They were always there.

The voices did seem different. Sometimes it seemed like there were a few at a time. Sometimes it was only one.

Was I on show? Who were these people?

I have no idea.

Time meant nothing.

I was stuck in the blackness.

At some point, I felt a warm tingling sensation start in my fingers. It moved from my fingers and up to my arm.

Was this my body's way of trying to pull me out of this black lagoon or whatever I'm in?

I don't know, but anything is better than this.

I climbed towards that wonderful warm sensation.

It was like swimming through pea soup at midnight. I just hoped I was going in the right direction.

I swam and swam and swam.

Finally, there was light. It was white and blinding.

I glanced around me and didn't recognize anything here.

Where am I?

I turn my attention back towards my arm where the warm tingling sensation began.

There's a man here.

He's leaning into my chest. It sounds like he's crying.

Could that be? This strong, beautiful man sitting beside me is crying? Why would he be crying like this?

Do I know him?

Then I hear his words. "I love you, babe. I love you so much."

Is he talking to me? I don't see anyone else here he could be talking to.

I pause for a moment and study the man's features that I can see.

He is tall. He has long blonde hair that is tickling the side of my neck. I feel his coarse hand dipped into mine. He says he loves me.

My Jasper.

Oh, my Jasper is here. With me. Crying.

Why is he crying? I have never seen my Jasper cry. Not even when his daddy told him he wasn't welcome and not to bother to come home for our first Christmas together.

I need to get his attention.

I tried to call his name, but that damn thing down my throat wouldn't let me.

I tried to shake him from my shoulder, but he was too strong and I was too weak.

Finally, my only other option was his hand.

I stroked his hand with my thumb.

He didn't move. He didn't notice.

I did it again. Still nothing.

The third time, I closed my eyes and put every ounce of effort I had into it.

He bolted upright in his chair.

He stared at me. I stared at him.

His face was red and blotchy. His blue eyes were swollen and tired with dark rings surrounding them.

He reached out to touch my face.

I closed my eyes and leaned into his cool hand.

"Edward," he whispered my name.

I was able to form no response. I'm sure I blinked once, but I was unable to break eye contact again with my love.

"Oh, Edward," he exclaimed again.

Suddenly, he broke all contact. He rubbed his face once to push away any stray tears and ran from the room.

I wanted to yell, "stop" "wait" "come back." Anything to bring him back to me, but he was gone.


	15. Chapter 15

Hmmmm… so a lot of love/hate in Chapter 14. Yes! Edward is awake! No! How could Jasper just up and leave him after all of the waiting and angst he has suffered the past 10 days?

I appreciate all of my anonymous readers, frequent reviewers and new comers. Thank you all so much for driving me to keep typing out this story. It's not done yet… Edward may be awake but there is still a lot of healing to do.

So… ONWARD!

I do not own anything belonging to or resembling Twilight.

Chapter 15 – JPOV

This was the moment we had been waiting for.

The love of my life. His eyes were open. He was staring back at me.

This was the moment we had been waiting for, but at the same time I had difficulty registering the sight before me.

"Edward," I questioned. Of course this was my Edward. Who else would it be. But did he know me?

Right now it didn't matter. He was awake! "Oh, Edward," I breathed.

He blinked at me before I jumped up. I needed to tell the nurse. I had to let Dr. Denali know. He's awake!

I ran from the room and pounded on the desk of the nurse's station across the way.

A young woman with red hair approached me with a menacing gaze and I knew I was causing undue excitement on the ward. "He's awake," I panted. "Edward is awake," I almost yelled.

"I'll be right in, sir," she said shortly. I stood my ground in front of her for what was really only seconds but seemed like an eternity until she finally stood and followed me to Edward's room.

Thank god his eyes were still open. I reached out to take his hand to settle the fear that was written across his face. "I'm here, Edward," I whispered before pressing a kiss to the side of his head between the thin paper of my mask.

He pressed himself back towards me and closed his eyes in our close comfort. We were broken out of our trance as the nurse came in wearing the blue gown and mask and beginning to ask questions.

She introduced herself, explained he was in the hospital, and explained his current predicament including the breathing tube that prohibited his talking.

She mentioned something about more tests, that Dr. Denali was on his way, then reminded us that Edward had others that were concerned for him.

I was so wrapped up in Edward's eyes, I forgot about the others. I needed to tell them.

God I hated leaving his side now that he was finally awake, but they needed to know. I leaned over to tell Edward that I loved him then ran out of the room and ripped off my gown.

I was out the doors and around the corner in seconds. I ripped open the closed door of the family waiting area and stood in the doorway.

Everyone was there. Esme, Carlisle, Edward and Elizabeth. Emmett, Rose, Alice and Bella. They all turned to look at me as I made my dramatic entrance.

"He's awake," I panted. "Edward's awake."

Everyone was on their feet instantly crowding around me wanting answers although I really had nothing to tell them other than the nurse was there and she said something about tests.

Carlisle had a determined look in his eyes and moved to step past me while saying, "I am going in to see my son."

Everyone nodded in agreement. I stepped back through the door to follow Carlisle or else be trampled by the rest of the family trying to see Edward.

Carlisle got us all through the doors with a little bit of sweet talking to the nurse in charge. When they swung open for us, he led the way to the third room on the right.

Unfortunately what I saw when we got there shocked me. Apparently, Edward was getting his strength back.

He was panicked and was swinging his arms and legs. The nurse had male workers with her who were attempting to get him to hold still so he would not pull any of the tubes or lines out.

She was barking orders to administer a tranquilizing dose of more sedatives before he hurt himself or any others.

Ignoring the protocol for the gown and mask, Carlisle ran into the room. I was hot on his heels.

Carlisle's voice was more threatening than I had ever heard it before as he said to the nurse, "You will not put that needle in his line. He's confused. He's scared. He needs time to orient himself."

The nurse tried to argue, but Carlisle didn't give her a chance. In a swift movement that was shocking to me and the nurse, he removed the syringe from her grip, placed the safety cap and threw it in the box to throw away needles.

To the sound of Carlisle's stern voice, Edward's squeezed eyes snapped open and he instantly focused on his father. Hot tears stuck to his eye lashes and ran down his cheeks.

"Edward," Carlisle said, resuming his normal timbre, "rest your arms. Rest your legs. You need to stop fighting your nurses. They're trying to help you."

Instantly, the battle stopped, but the tears continued.

Carlisle waved the three workers away from the bed and sat close to his son. "Edward, I know this is scary and different, but you need to calm down for me. We need you to be calm if we're going to be able to take that breathing tube out."

I saw Carlisle glance behind him slightly. I realized he was looking at the monitor that held all of Edward's vital signs. For the first time I realized it was beeping.

"Edward," Carlisle said, regaining his attention, "Your heart rate and blood pressure are both too high right now. You need to close your eyes and count to ten so you can relax."

I watched as Edward did as he was told. Carlisle counted the numbers in his ear in the soft, soothing voice.

After he reached ten, Edward opened his eyes again. Most of the tears were pushed away, but there was still fear in them.

Carlisle glanced back at the monitor again and noticed the heart rate number had dropped slightly, but it was still well above 100. They repeated the process a few times, but Carlisle's face was evident that it was not lowering enough.

I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. I was so wrapped up in watching Carlisle work with Edward that it startled me.

I turned and found Alice at my side. "You talk to him, Jasper," she told me. "He always listens for you."

I returned my gaze towards Edward, but hesitated to disturb Carlisle's work. Carlisle must have heard as he waved me over.

Slowly, I sat at Edward's other side against the ledge of the bed. "Hey, baby," I whispered. "Do you remember where you are," I asked.

Just slightly I saw him shake his head.

I continued my soft voice saying, "You're in the hospital. You got the flu and came home from work early with a high fever. I brought you here when you started coughing and we couldn't bring your fever back down."

I saw the tears rise in his eyes again and I softly brushed my fingers against his face to wipe away the few tears that stained his cheeks. "Everyone's here, Edward," I told him, "Even Alice flew in."

I glanced up towards his family who were still standing within the doorway. He followed my gaze and I saw his lip twitch slightly as he tried to give them all a brave smile.

"We all love you, Edward," Alice said from a few steps away, "we all just want you to get better soon so we can have camp outs like we used to."

I saw the corner of his mouth twitch a little bit more in his crooked smile.

I continued to talk to Edward in a soothing voice and occasionally glanced to Carlisle who was watching the monitor closely.

When he was finally satisfied that Edward had calmed, he placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "Edward, son, we need to call Eleazar and let him know you're awake. Do you remember him? You knew him as a boy." Edward shrugged slightly and Carlisle continued, "I need you to stay calm for me and we all need to step out for a few minutes so the nurses can evaluate you to see how you're doing."

I watched as Edward's eyes widened again as panic brewed. I noticed as he gripped the edge of the bed with all of his strength with his free hand. I saw and grabbed it up in my own. "You need to let the nurses do their job," I told him.

He gripped my hand harder in response.

I glanced up at Carlisle and he shrugged saying, "Alright, Edward. Jasper can stay, but he needs to put on the gown and mask first and you need to stay calm to allow the team to do their job."

I watched as Edward's eyes shifted from me to his father and back to me again. Hesitantly, he nodded and released my hand. I swiftly dressed in my gown and returned to his side.

By the time I retook one of his hand in both of mine, the family had filed out of the doorway to make room for the nurse, Victoria to enter. Dr. Denali was behind her ready to do his exam.

First, they recorded all of Edward's vital signs again. Then, they listened to his lungs, checked for pulses in his arms and legs and asked him to move his fingers, toes, arms and legs in different directions.

Finally, Dr. Denali turned to Edward and said, "Hello, Edward. You probably do not remember me, I'm Eleazar Denali. I have been your primary doctor since you have been here."

Edward nodded and I gave his hand a squeeze.

"You came in with a nasty case of the flu," Dr. Denali continued, "your health was exacerbated by being run down and dehydrated and it developed into pneumonia. While you were sleeping we had to put the tube down your throat to help you breathe and you have a tube in your chest to remove the infected fluid that was in your lung."

I felt Edward shiver slightly at the thought and feeling of those tubes invading his body.

The doctor continued, "Now that you're awake we can start talking about getting rid of those tubes." In response Edward nodded vigorously.

Dr. Denali chuckled at Edward's first show of enthusiasm and continued, "But first, we are going to need a chest x-ray. Also I am going to lower the settings to make sure you're going to be breathing strong enough on your own. That way there's less of a chance we have to put the tubes back in."

After being told the tubes probably weren't coming out now, Edward's shoulders dropped and he leaned back into his pillows while closing his eyes.

I stroked his thick knotted hair and said softly, "It's okay, Edward. We'll get those tubes out soon enough then we'll go out for pizza and beers."

Edward's eyes cracked open and he looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

"I know, babe, I know," I chuckled, "How about a steak?"

His lip quirked in response and he closed his eyes again.

I gave him a soft kiss on the forehead before whispering, "Rest, love. We'll all be here when you wake."

EMPOV

When Jasper told us Edward was awake, we all bombarded the ICU in a whirling storm.

When we got there, I screeched to a halt as I saw my brother kicking and punching at the nurses.

My dad quickly took control of the scene and it worked well enough to stop the kicking and the nurses from putting him to sleep, but there was still anxiety in Edward's eyes.

I heard Alice to my left whisper to Jasper to go to him.

The one movement of Jasper's touch against his hand appeared to melt away the scared boy I saw in my brother.

Damn. I never saw anything like it. One touch and he was like a different person.

How did Alice know that Jasper was the key? She lived half way across the world for goodness sakes and she had only really gotten to know Jasper for a few days now. I had spent the same amount of time with Jasper as she, if not more since we have been at the hospital.

I learned in these past few days how dedicated he was to my brother. As hard as it was for me to believe, it was true my brother loved this man.

I watched as Jasper spoke to Edward in hushed tones. Their bodies pushed towards each other subconsciously reacting to their chemistry. Edward turned away from us slightly into Jasper's body until he glanced towards all of us. He attempted a brave smile then returned to Jasper's warmth.

What really shocked me was Edward clinging to Jasper when Dad said we needed to step out.

I saw the tears threaten to fall. This was not the brother I knew.

My brother was not afraid of anything.

Like during the end of the school year party we had. It was the end of my senior year and Edward just finished his sophomore year. We went to the bonfire down at LaPush Reservation. I just got done making out with Claire, my senior year girlfriend when I found Edward sitting on a log near the fire listening to the guys from the reservation tell their stories. Apparently, they were known to cliff dive off of the top of the rocks that were close by.

I admit, both Edward and I had more than a few beers in our system. But when he put the dare out there, I couldn't not do it.

What surprised me was when he followed me up the trail and started stripping out of his clothes until he stood only in his boxer shorts. We both stood at the edge of the mountain peaking down into the black waves below us.

Before I knew what was happening, Edward took a step back then sprinted and jumped high in the air. A moment later he splashed in the water below us. Not to be outdone, I was a few seconds behind him.

The tide was swift and we had to fight to come to shore. When we set our feet on the land, we were heroes for the rest of the night.

Edward could have had any girl he wanted that night, but come to think of it, he sat by the fire with the guys nursing his beer and following the next tales of daring that were told.

When we all reached the hospital waiting room again, we each walked to our previous seats as if we were assigned. Dad was a few moments behind us as he stayed to talk to Eleazar Denali for a moment before the doctor went to visit Edward.

When Dad entered, he sat and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands in his hair in a very Edward-like way. He took turns looking at each of us starting with Granddad and MomMom, then moving on to Bella, Rose, me then Alice.

"His fever is down now," Dad began. "His lungs sound better and hopefully if all goes well, they will be able to remove the breathing tube tomorrow, but he's very weak. He's awake but there's still a lot of recovery to be done."

"What can we do, Dad," Alice asked.

He shrugged slightly and said, "We'll have to take it a day at a time, Alice. He certainly won't be ready to go back to work yet; he needs time to recover from this ordeal."

Granddad nodded in agreement and chimed in, "The board is meeting again tomorrow morning and I will be in the office to cover whatever is needed and to see how Demetri is handling things."

The rest of us nodded and sat back into our chairs to wait.

An hour later Jasper emerged from Edward's room and entered the waiting room. He plopped himself down into the same chair between Alice and Bella.

He leaned back with his head against the wall with his eyes closed.

Bella softly reached out to touch his shoulder and he turned his head slightly to look at her.

She merely raised her eye brows and Jasper said, "He's sleeping."

Bella smiled softly, but stood anyway to take her turn sitting at Edward's bedside.

The room was quiet, but for the humming of the television and eventually the light snores of Jasper from across the room.


	16. Chapter 16

If my previous chapters got a "WOW" I am completely speechless in regards to the response I received for chapter 15. I have some of the sweetest readers and reviewers I think in all of fanfictiondom.

Chapter 16… this was slightly (maybe much much much) harder to write than the previous few. I admit it may move a bit slower, but it's another one of those chapters I found that were required in the general time line of events of this story.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you all.

I do not own twilight.

Chapter 16 – EPOV

My eyes cracked open.

There was a bright light above me that was stinging my eyes.

This uncomfortable bed I'm laying in is not my bed.

My eyes slowly adjust to the light and I glance around. That's right. I'm in the hospital.

It's silent in my room, but for the wooshing of air around me.

At first I think I'm alone. A minute goes by before I notice a slight movement close to the wall. I turn my head to see and I find my father whose head is lulling to the side. He's dressed in a simple blue gown with a face mask. His blonde hair is sticking out in disarray like mine does every day.

I continue to stare and every so often, he adjusts his position to avoid falling into the machinery around him.

I want to call out for him, but that damn tube in my mouth and throat prevents it.

I closed my eyes and pondered my circumstance. I was laying in a hospital bed with my father a few feet away. I couldn't talk, I certainly couldn't reach that far to shake him. What was I going to do?

It took too long for my slow mind to realize I should have a call button somewhere with me. I had been in enough hospitals as a child with my father and with torn knees and elbows to know how these places worked.

I reached out to grasp for a button that should be near. My arms felt like someone tied fifty pound weights to them. I reached out slowly with more effort than it should require.

Finally, my hand rests on a cord. I glance down and see a thin gray cord that appears to be connected from my skin to the monitors above me.

I pause for a moment. This should get their attention, but am I willing to pull this off? What if it's connected into me in some way?

I shrug to myself realizing this is the only way of getting their attention for now.

I grip the cord the best I can and give it a slight tug. Not too bad. No pain at least. I tug a little bit harder and feel a slight tug leading up to my chest. Again, it doesn't appear to be anything I can't handle.

I take a breath and tug harder one last time. I feel the cord come loose in my hand.

In that same moment, I hear the screen above me start to beep.

Dad's eyes fly open to stare at the monitor then land on me.

I try to smile at him, I think it fails.

Dad stands and takes the cord from my hand, opens the gown and replaces it where it belongs on my chest. The monitors become silent after a minute.

"Edward," he says softly while shaking his head. He picks up a small button that was not too far from the wire I pulled and shows it to me. It's the call light.

I shrug lightly and my father chuckles. "You know, Edward," he begins, "I had to call in more than one favor to allow us to be with you after hours."

I knew my father. He was not one to throw his notoriety and power around within the profession lightly. However I am his son and I am lying in a hospital bed. This is certainly not an everyday occurrence.

He continued, "They wanted to sedate you and tie you down after you awoke and started swinging the first time. The team didn't want to risk you hurting yourself or any of the staff. I can't tell you how many phone calls it took me to convince them that a one-on-one contact will suffice. Of course if you do become combative, we would not have a choice, but I know my son."

The first time I woke was more like a hazy memory. I remember staring into Jasper's glistening blue eyes and having a whole team of nurses around me when he left. My body felt tired and heavy now. I couldn't even imagine having the energy and strength to fight.

I stared at my father and tried to communicate those thoughts through my eyes. I had no intention of fighting with him or anyone else.

Dad seemed to understand as our eyes met for a few slow seconds.

"Alright, son," he stated, "I am going to step out and let them know you are awake. We hope to be able to take out your breathing tube today."

That bit of news made my day. I would pull my hair out by the roots if I had to deal with this aching tube down my throat for much longer.

I nodded enthusiastically as Dad stepped out of the room laughing.

He returned five minutes later with a young man wearing blue scrubs following him. Dad introduced him to me as Riley Biers, the resident on call this evening.

The young doctor had dirty blonde hair, a few shades darker than Jasper's and tired, hazel eyes. If I were anywhere but this hospital bed, I would probably think he was pretty cute, but right now it was the last thing I could think about.

Of course I loved Jasper, but that could never stop either one of us from looking.

The young doctor moved around me quickly taking note of my heart and respiratory rate on the monitors as well as listening to my lungs. When he was finished, he stood straight at the end of my bed and asked, "Are you ready to have that breathing tube removed?"

I nodded again, hopeful that I would be able to speak and eat soon.

Riley smiled down at me and stated, "I spoke with Dr. Denali last night before he left. He said if your lungs sound clear and your vitals are stable, we can remove that tube tonight."

That was the first part of good news to make me smile. Riley stated he was going to check a few notes in my chart, but assuming no new issues arise I can expect him back within the hour to remove this tube.

I glanced around the room for the clock. I found it across on the far wall. It read quarter of three. From the way Dad and Dr. Biers were talking, it couldn't be three o'clock in the afternoon. And if it was, I was sure Jasper must be close by. It was three o'clock in the morning.

How long had I been asleep? What day was it? I had so many questions to ask Dad once this godforsaken tube was out.

Dad stayed with me. He watched as I glanced around to my surroundings again. He was a perceptive man. It was part of what made him a great doctor.

He rested a hand on my shoulder and waited for me to stare back at him again.

"You've been asleep for eleven days, Edward," he said softly.

Eleven days! I had missed almost two weeks of my life here? My eyes widened as I tried to calculate the date. I knew it was 2013 and I was 24 years old. I was pretty sure it was still October.

I couldn't remember what day I had gotten sick.

"Today is Saturday, October 19th, Edward. You are in the ICU at Swedish Medical Center. You came down with a nasty case of the flu and you had worked yourself to such exhaustion that your body couldn't keep up," he told me. "Jasper called me when your fever could not be controlled and I had him bring you here."

At the mention of Jasper's name, my eyes widened and I automatically glanced around for him. "He's sleeping. For the first time since he brought you in, he's finally getting some rest. Let him sleep, Edward."

I knew Jasper had to take care of himself, but I missed him. I needed him with me always. I loved him more than I knew what was possible.

"Everyone's here," Dad continued, breaking me out of my Jasper-induced trance. I looked up at my father with questioning eyes waiting for him to continue. "Mom, Granddad, Mom-Mom, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Bella; they've all been waiting for you."

Alice was here? And Emmett? I can't imagine him spending any time in the same building, much less the same room as Jasper.

Dad read my concern and stated, "So far everyone has been on their best behavior."

I quirked a crooked glance towards my father in disbelief. I had difficulty believing that my brother who had all but disowned me from part of his utopian family was here and not giving Jasper a difficult time.

Dad continued to fill me in on tidbits of information including Granddad managing CF in my absence until Dr. Biers returned. He dressed in the same blue gown Dad wore and was followed by a nurse.

Riley stated it was time to remove this damn tube from my throat and I could only smile in response.

Moving quickly, he detached the ventilator from the breathing tube with a gush of air. He asked me to take a deep breath and cough. As I did, he pulled the tube from my mouth.

It felt like I was coughing, sneezing and going to vomit at the same time. As I struggled to catch my breath on my own for the first time in over a week, the nurse slipped an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose.

The two and Dad stayed close by until my breathing returned to normal and I rested myself back in the bed.

I closed my eyes to refocus myself. When I opened them, the Riley and the nurse had left the room leaving Dad standing next to me.

"Dad," I croaked. It hurt. It felt like a million bees were stinging my throat as I tried to speak. I tried to swallow. My mouth felt like my tongue was made of cotton.

"Water," I whispered; that felt slightly better than speaking.

He nodded and said, "No water just yet. I'll get you some ice chips." He stepped out and came back with a small Styrofoam cup.

He spoon fed me a few ice chips before telling me to rest. It seemed silly since all I have done for the past eleven days was sleep, but the fatigue of the past hour or two quickly caught up to me as my eyes closed.

JPOV

I blinked.

I glanced around and saw the same scene I knew from days past.

The television was on although no one was watching. Emmett and Rosalie were whispering to each other in the corner. Alice was browsing the internet for the most recent fashions. Bella appeared to be working on lesson plans just as I should be doing. Edward senior was reading the business index in the paper and Elizabeth had her nose in a book. Esme rested her head against her eldest son's shoulder, but she wasn't sleeping. Her eyes were open and vacant. Carlisle was missing, most likely with Edward.

Carlisle had spoken to the medical director here at the hospital and negotiated a deal that would allow us to spend time with Edward after visiting hours one at a time.

I rubbed the sleep away from my eyes before rising from the uncomfortable chair and stretching.

I walked from the room to use the men's room before crouching down in my nook a few yards away from the waiting room door.

I knelt down on my knees like they show you in all of the shows about church. I whispered, "Thank you, God."

I repeated, "thank you, God. Thank you for saving my Edward." I paused.

"I haven't forgotten our deal. I'll see you Sunday," before standing and returning to the room.

I couldn't have been gone for more than thirty minutes, but the atmosphere in the room was different as I stepped back in.

I saw a smile gracing the faces of Alice and Bella when I moved towards my chair. There had been no smiles, no jokes, the world had been devoid of any happiness for the past two weeks, but now I saw smiles.

Alice jumped up into my arms and she squealed in my ear. "He's awake," she squealed, "Dad was just here. The breathing tube is out. Edward's going to be fine."

With every word she was jumping up and down. I did my best to dodge the stiletto heels that were bouncing too close to my own feet.

"Alice, my ears, my god! I'm right here, you don't need to yell," I admonished before saying, "Really? Carlisle said he's going to be fine?"

She nodded and whispered, "He's talking. No more fighting. He has a lot of recuperating to do, but yes, he will be fine."

I squeezed her in a tight hug, lifting tiny Alice completely off the floor. Bella and Rosalie also rose from their chairs to envelope me in the middle of a hug.

Other's eyes were following us as we embraced.

My gaze met Emmett's across the room. He made no move to stand or come closer, but met me with Edward's crooked smile.

I squeezed the ladies once more around the waist before releasing them.

"I think visiting hours have just restarted," I said with a grin while moving towards the double doors once again.

I typically do not end with footnotes, but today happens to be Sunday, September 11, 2011. It has been 10 years since the great fall of the twin towers in New York City, NY.

I would just like to take this moment to remember the bravery of our heroes including police, fire fighters, EMTs, and all of those in our armed forces including the army, navy, marines, air force, coast guard and all of the lives that were lost 10 years ago today.

God bless America.


	17. Chapter 17

I want to thank all of my loyal readers for all of their support during the last chapter. You are wonderful and I want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words if I haven't already.

It's amazing how some chapters can really take on a life of their own and my fingers just do the work. This is a short chapter… but I think it's interesting… read on.

I do not own twilight or Edward and sadly definitely not Jasper.

Chapter 17 – JPOV

I stopped in the doorway and saw my Edward laughing.

A young brunette was changing a bag of fluid connected to his IV and was smiling down at him. Carlisle was standing a few feet away from the pair and leaning up against the window on the far side of the room.

I stepped through the doorway and I saw the smile on my Edward's face brighten into a full out grin.

"Shannon," he croaked. The young woman next to his bed glanced down at him from her work before following his gaze towards me. "This is my Jasper," he said.

We said our greetings before I stepped to Edward's side and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Mmm," Edward whispered, "I missed those lips."

I pulled away slightly and returned, "You have no idea, babe. I just can't wait until these stupid masks come off. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable these things are?"

Edward chuckled before reaching up for another kiss. I could see him struggle using all of his strength to sit up closer to me. I gently pushed him back down and pressed another kiss to his head.

I sat back quietly to allow Shannon finish her work and Carlisle stepped forward to Edward's side.

"Edward," he said, "I am going to leave to give you two a minute, then I am sending in your mother. She has been worried sick and you need to see the rest."

Edward cringed slightly knowing his mother was going to come in and sulk over him, but nodded dutifully.

Carlisle stepped out and my hands dove into Edward's hair. My forehead rested against his and I stared into his eyes.

His hand rested against my hip. He stared into my eyes and whispered, "I love you, Jazzy."

"I love you too," I responded using the same tone, "You scared me, babe. God, the doctors didn't even know if you were going to make it." I closed my eyes for a moment before staring deeply into his eyes, "Never do that to me again, Edward. You have to take care of yourself. You can not do that to me ever again. I don't think my heart could take it."

His hand rubbed against my hip and across my thigh. I squeezed my eyes shut willing my body not to respond in its normal manner. "I'm here, baby," he said. "I'm not going anywhere."

We held each other tight. Words could not express the love I felt in my heart for this man at this moment. Our love is beyond words. Beyond reason.

We could have sat as we were forever, but time did not stop outside of our cocoon.

It wasn't until I heard the quiet whimper of Esme not too far behind me that I attempted to sit up.

I stared into Edward's eyes communicating everything I was feeling until I finally had to look away. Esme was standing just inches away from me.

Tears touched her cheeks and I knew I needed to leave her to have her peace with Edward.

As I stepped out of the room I heard my love croak, "Mom," in his cracked voice and the muffled sobs as she held her youngest son to her heart.

I removed myself to my nook away from the waiting room. I knew it would take longer than usual until I would be with Edward again with everyone taking their time to sit by his side. I missed him terribly although he was only yards away.

Now that he was awake, I felt there were so many things I needed to tell him. There were so many revelations that I made as I sat by his sleeping side and in that cold waiting room.

All in good time, I told myself. We had the rest of our lives for me to tell him the things I had learned.

Resigned to the wait I must endure, I pulled my laptop from the bag I kept with me and concentrated on my next video lesson plan.

While I dove into my lesson regarding the effects of the American Revolution, time flew by just as it used to prior to my work relocation.

I set up the most recent lesson on the website that I had formatted for my classes as well as started reading and grading the midterm papers each student emailed me this week.

I lost track of time. I don't know how long I had been sitting in the small alcove of the empty hallway before I was enveloped by a shadow.

I glanced up and was startled myself to see Emmett standing above me.

He was not wearing the look of the broken man I had known for days prior or the angry stare I had known for months.

He stared down at me and I held his gaze. This was a look of grief and sorrow.

He cleared his throat before starting, "Jasper." This was the first time that I knew of that he ever referred to me by name. Prior to this moment I was always referred to as "him" as if my name would scald his tongue.

He swallowed before starting again, "Jasper, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

My eyes grew as round as saucers as his words registered in my mind.

I saw his Adam's apple bob up and down a few times as breathed deeply. If I thought he was done with a simple apology I was gravely mistaken.

"I just saw Edward. Let's just say he wasn't as thrilled to see me as I was to see him," he said with a sad laugh. "I know it's my own damn fault that I haven't really seen him for six years and I know it's pretty damn sad that he has to be here for me to get my head out of my ass, but I just wanted you to know that I am sorry."

I continued to stare at the beast of a man in front of me. I knew Edward loved his brother. I knew it hurt Edward terribly when Emmett shut him out and now he stood above me apologizing for I don't know what.

I couldn't care less about him for me. I had dealt with his kind of hate before from the people that were supposed to love me unconditionally. I knew how much it hurt. I didn't know how Edward felt at this moment, but I couldn't allow my Edward to hurt anymore.

I scooped myself up with my bag and computer from my sitting place on the floor looked the larger man directly in the eyes and said with little room for question of my true feelings, "Fuck you, Emmett."

I marched my way down the hall and as far away from him as I could while still wanting to stay close to my love.

EMPOV

I stood frozen in the middle of the hall until Jasper disappeared down the hall through the set of double doors prior to meeting the elevators.

I was trying to apologize and he told me to fuck off? No way.

I mean, sure, I probably deserved it although I knew deep down that I really did deserve it, but being told that to your fucking face? I had no response. No come back. No repartee.

I guess I shouldn't have expected any more.

While seeing my own brother, he asked me what I was doing here. I explained in mild shock that he was my brother no matter what and if he was sick enough to be here, I would make sure I was here too.

He was okay with Alice flying half way across the world but I couldn't drive a few hours north.

I apologized to him as well for being an ass, for losing touch and not hearing him out when I should have.

Maybe the only reason why he didn't walk out on me also was because he was chained to that hospital bed.

He shrugged and accepted my apology although I could see on his face that they were only empty words.

I knew I messed up, but truth be told my relationship with Edward started to deteriorate the day he decided to fly across the country to go to school and again that was all my fault. Sure, we still talked when we were both home, but I never made the effort to stay close to him like he and Alice did. Then, when he came home and told us he was gay, it was the last straw. I didn't know my brother at all.

I continued to ponder the events, or lack thereof, that had led to this moment. I quickly realized that it was perfectly reasonable for Jasper to tell me what he did.

It was up to me to try to fix this mess that I started.

With more determination than I had felt since the day I proposed to my Rosie, I left the empty hallway and started a plan.


	18. Chapter 18

I promised a Friday update… it's still Friday for another 47 minutes by my clock! I made it. Man am I beat We have a continuation of chapter 17. All of Edward's point of view. Enjoy!

You all knew I was going to draw out his rehab process a bit.

Thank you all for reading.

I do not own Twilight, Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Alice or any other characters.

Chapter 18 – EPOV

I learned a few things in the past 26 years of my existence.

First, I knew I would give anything to get out of this damn bed. Second, I knew I would move heaven and earth to see my family smile again. Most of all, I knew I loved Jasper with all that I am.

Waking up was a surreal experience. Everyone that I cared about was here.

I saw everyone the first day come in by singles or pairs.

I saw my Jazzy first. God I love him. I felt healed just laying in his arms although I knew my body had a long way to go.

My mom was next. I looked up and she had tears on her cheeks. It broke my heart to see the look in my mother's eyes.

She was hurt. It was my fault.

I spent the next hour speaking to her in a way that I hoped was comforting. I promised to visit more when I got out of here. I told her I would bring Jasper around when I could. I promised to call whenever we couldn't make the drive out to Forks.

By the time Dad re-entered my room a while later, Mom seemed appeased that I would make more of an effort to see her.

Dad's temperament was quite the opposite of Mom's while I laid in this bed. While Mom was mostly quiet and still, Dad was constantly shuffling around me making sure I wasn't in any pain, making sure my IV was running smoothly and making sure my vital signs on the monitor were normal. I was really started to despise the flashing numbers and lines up on the screen above my bed. I couldn't blink without twenty people being aware of it.

After the third time I coughed and Dad just about threw a fit when my respiratory rate spiked for less than a second, I managed to gently kick them out of my room. If I wasn't tied down with all of these wires, I would have done it a half hour earlier.

I wasn't alone for five minutes before Mom-Mom and Granddad entered. Our chats were no more exciting than those I held with Mom and Dad. Mom-Mom promised to make me some homemade meals to store in my refrigerator and freezer for when I went home. Their house was not too far away from the city and they would be staying there a while before going off on their next trip since Granddad was taking care of CF for me. He updated me on the deals he knew Demetri was working on as well as his last conversation with Aro. Not a whole lot had changed there either in the past two weeks.

I must have dozed off somewhere in the middle of their visit because when I opened my eyes, Emmett and Rose were in my grandparents' place. I had to blink more than once to make sure my eyes were seeing straight.

What were they doing here?

My own brother more or less disowned me a year and a half ago and now he sits in my hospital room like nothing happened? What the hell?

When I had no other choice but yawn then cough and it was obvious I was awake, I felt their eyes linger on me. It was a long quiet few seconds before I whispered, "What are you doing here, Em?"

The same man who had known me for most of my life, that helped me work out so I wasn't picked on in gym class in the sixth grade, that I helped him study for the SATs despite I was only a freshman gawked at me.

After a few more agonizing seconds, Rosalie spoke up, "Em talked to Jasper and he told us that you were sick, Edward. We got here as soon as we could."

My eyes flicked back and forth a few times between the two people who should be family who continued to stand in my room. Emmett talked to Jasper? Why is the first time I am hearing about this… oh yeah, I was in a freaking coma for a week and a half.

Rosalie saw the obvious discomfort that lingered on our faces, gave me a kiss on the cheek and stepped out of the room leaving Emmett and I alone for the first time in longer than I could remember.

Emmett shifted in his shoes and I had little choice but to lay and wait.

I guess I could have called the nurse and have him kicked out, but on the same token I couldn't. He was still my brother and with as uncomfortable as he looked at this moment, I knew we had to start somewhere.

"I'm sorry, Edward," he said softly. So softly I could barely hear him.

What was I supposed to say? It's okay? You're forgiven? I knew he wasn't and he certainly knew too. This was about so much more than me and Jasper. Somewhere along the way we lost our camaraderie, our brotherhood.

I stayed silent and watched as he started to pace the tiles of my tiny room.

He gulped before continuing, "I was an ass. I was too busy in my own world to think about yours. I'm sorry I never came to visit when you and Jasper were around. I didn't try to or call or anything. I don't really have an excuse for that. Well, I could give you a bunch but they're all bullshit and we both know it."

I continued to stare at my brother as he rambled, "I'm sorry we lost touch. You know college can be a crazy time," he glanced up at me from his pacing and said, "I swear it's not that I didn't care."

To that I nodded slightly and whispered, "I know," but I still didn't have it in me to forgive him.

"I never called," he continued as if he didn't hear me, "When you got accepted to a freaking ivy league school and Dad and Mom and you all called, I was too drunk to talk.

"I'm sorry, Ed," he repeated. "I've been more than horrendous to you and Jasper. I think I was just taking it out on Jasper because that was the easiest way. I know now that it wasn't right, but I did it and I'm sorry."

I never thought I would see my older brother so close to tears but I did that day. They did not fall to his cheeks, but I saw his eyes shining in genuine regret over the past six or more years. "I know, Em," I replied softly. I think we both knew I couldn't just forgive, but it was a start.

Emmett tried to wipe his eyes discreetly with the sleeve of his shirt before turning and saying goodbye.

I barely had five minutes to collect my thoughts before Bella entered. I don't think I was aware that she made the trek up to see me from Arizona, so seeing her was a wonderful surprise and very welcome.

She was the only girl that would climb into bed with me and snuggle. We would talk into the late hours of the night and lose track of time until the sun started to rise.

I don't know how she did it, but she was just the person I needed right now.

I looked up to see her shy smile as she said, "Alice sent me."

I smiled wider knowing it was most likely Alice's self-proclaimed 'psychic' visions to know I needed Bella now.

Bella came closer, standing directly next to my bed and said, "We've been taking turns. It was Alice's turn yesterday when Jasper was here because I think she knew you were waking up. Now, Alice says you need a friend."

I reached towards Bella and pulled her a bit closer until she was sitting on the edge of my bed, "She was right," I stated.

The room was silent. That was part of what I loved about Bella. She never pushed and prodded the way Alice would until she got her way. Bella knew I would open up soon enough in my own way and time.

"Emmett is here," I started. Bella nodded slightly, I'm sure fully aware of his presence.

"He apologized," I continued, "I'm not sure for exactly what. For everything I guess. He just apologized for not being my brother for the past ten years, for not giving a shit.

I glanced up towards the ceiling, "Why does he give a shit now? Is it because the doctors said I almost died? Is that what it took? If that's what it is, I don't know if I want or need his apology. Jasper and I were getting along pretty well before."

Bella stayed quiet during my rant. When she assumed I was finished, she whispered against my head, "Maybe it wasn't for you."

I looked up at her asking her to continue, "Just think about it, Edward. If you died, he's the one that would have to live with the regrets. He's the one who would have to question if part of this was his fault. If he paid better attention to the family and what they wanted, he would have taken over CF. You could have done anything you wanted to. You could take Jasper and run to the ends of the earth. Or maybe he just regrets not giving you a chance."

I sat quietly and absorbed Bella's warmth and sense.

Did I forgive Emmett? Is he truly apologizing if it's more for his well being than mine? I don't know.

Bella hugged me around the shoulders and reminded me, "This isn't something you need to decide now. You can make your decision when you're ready, but give him a chance. Wait and see how he acts with you and with Jasper. You'll know your answer soon enough."

I smiled up at her and said, "So you're psychic too, now?"

She giggled and answered, "maybe, or maybe I've just always been smarter than you."

With that kind laugh, she changed the topic and began telling me stories of the college freshmen taking her prerequisite English course and their lack of English grammar and spelling skills.

Many of her stories made me laugh. It was good to laugh.

Bella had stayed the longest so far and I was glad. She was good company and a great friend.

Eventually, she said she needed to give my family a chance and Alice was jumping up and down at my door a few seconds later.

She also made me smile. She rambled on about fashion and design. Despite I didn't care, I think she knew I needed to hear something normal outside of these hospital walls and away from the family drama. As she continued to speak, I felt my eyes begin to close again.


	19. Chapter 19

I am doing my best, I promise. That no good stinking real life keeps getting in my way of my story time. One of these days I am going to have all the time in the world to write the long chapters that I like to write and get ahead again in my stories.

I'm glad people are enjoying my Edward POV because we have more of it! Although next chapter will be Jasper again.

Enjoy….

I do not own twilight

Chapter 19 – EPOV

It was five o'clock in the morning. FIVE FREAKING O'CLOCK.

I stared at the clock that was ticking on the wall in front of me as the nurse worked. Apparently the doctor thought my old IV line needed to be changed. I'm trying to figure out why they insisted on doing it NOW.

It's not as if she won't be here in an hour or two or it couldn't wait for the next nurse.

She introduced herself as Molly and said they needed to start this one before they gave me a new bag of antibiotics.

So here I lay.

It was easy enough to have the old line removed, Molly just removed the tape and it slid right out, but I had been little more than the doctor's pin cushion for the past two weeks. My arms were black and blue and sore.

I heard Molly sigh in frustration and I flinched as the needle pierced the skin of my left hand. I tried not to move, but it was hard not to cringe as she searched for the vein.

Finally, she stopped with an "Ah ha!" I was finally able to relax.

I relaxed but it was impossible for me to sleep again.

I wish there was something to do in here other than just watch tv. Have you ever turned on the television at five in the morning? I can watch the weather channel or infomercials.

Since I was relaxed and falling asleep last night, I insisted to my family that they go and rest themselves. I promised to be on my best behavior without fighting or arguing with my nurses and doctors.

So, now I lay in my uncomfortable hospital bed for the third day (that I remember) willing myself to go back to sleep.

After a half hour with no success I succumbed to watching the early morning news hoping that would do the trick. All I learned was it was supposed to rain again in Seattle and a recipe for scones.

Out of options, I rested my head into the lumpy pillow the hospital provided and closed my eyes to ponder the situation.

Emmett's apologies ran through my mind. Mom's tears made my heart ache. Granddad's litany of issues with CF carried me far away from this place. It was so much more than my mind could process at one moment.

If I continued to ponder this, I would go insane.

My eyes opened of their own accord and I saw the sun rise through the blinds. When my room had just become light, Dr. Biers entered my room with a knock on the door.

He entered with a smile. I smiled back. It felt like so long since I used those muscles, but I was happy that it was the doctor. Usually they didn't come with a mission like the nurses did. They only came to draw blood, place IVs and check stool samples. I shuddered remembering the previous night, there are some people in this world who should never be armed with a rubber glove and a popsicle stick.

Riley entered the room with his smile in place and the next thing I noticed was this was the first time I was able to see his face. He did not don the blue gown, mask and gloves before entering.

"Good morning, Edward," he said cheerfully. I returned his greeting until he continued, "I have good news today. Your stool and sputum samples from yesterday came back clean and your white blood cell count is down. It appears you have done well fighting this infection and you are no longer contagious, so you are no longer on isolation precautions. I also spoke to Dr. Denali this morning and we expect you to be transferred upstairs to a room sometime today."

That was the best news I had heard all year.

I smiled brightly back at the young doctor. I was so happy to be leaving the ICU I could have kissed him. Of course I didn't, I loved my Jasper and he was only a few yards away through that set of double doors, but that didn't stop me from being immensely grateful to my team of doctors.

I wanted impatiently for the next eight hours to be moved to a general med-surg room on a different floor. I wanted to be off of these damn tele-monitors where I couldn't even sneeze without everyone in a twenty foot radius being aware of it.

The best part of the day was seeing my family smile. After Dr. Biers left, my parents entered. They had obviously heard the news as well and expressed multiple ties over how happy htye were that I was getting better. Mom smothered me with kisses and tears, covering my face with her waxy lipstick before Dad could pull her away and give me space.

Em and Rose just expressed how annoying the gowns and masks were to wear and how glad they were to be rid of them. They didn't stay long during their visit as the atmosphere continued to be strained between us. I admit things were slightly better, but it was still difficult to spend too much time together. We had little to talk about, very little in common.

It was close to noon when Jasper entered. His serious "professor" face was determined as he marched through my doorway. He didn't stop until he stood tall above me.

He leaned down and pressed his soft lips firmly against my chapped ones.

I was slightly surprised by his intensity, but allowed my body to respond naturally to his when he sat on the edge of the bed and held me tight in his embrace.

We stayed connected by our mouths and hands exploring each other again until the stupid monitor began to alarm with my elevated heart and respiratory rates.

We broke apart, each red-faced and panting from our exertion.

As our breathing slowed and the noise quieted, I looked up into the beautiful blue eyes and radiant smile of my one true love. No one could hold a candle to this man and I needed to tell him now.

I think he knew as he leaned down once more to press a soft kiss against my lips just for a moment, but I still whispered in my cracked voice, "I love you, Jasper."

He smiled softly and responded, "I missed you, Edward. I missed your words, your lips, your body near mine for two very long weeks. God, I missed you baby."

His tortured words placed a frown on my lips and I whispered in a voice barely heard, "I wouldn't leave you without saying goodbye. I love you too much, Jazzy."

"Promise?" he asked while reaching down to stroke my cheek with a shaking hand.

"With all my heart," I responded. I never wanted to see the desperate look and the haunted eyes that had plagued my Jasper since I woke ever again. I certainly never wanted to be the cause of it.

We sat together for the next hour and a half exchanging few words, but saying everything we needed to through the connection of our fingers that ran through us like electricity.

The next time I saw him was only moments after the nurse wheeled my bed into an elevator and up three floors to my new room.

This place was slightly more cramped as the ICU was built for more staff to work at once in a critical situation, but it had four walls and a real door. Also, I was allowed to have more visitors at once.

When Jasper found me moments after I was situated in the room, I grabbed his hand as if I would never let it go. I gripped him tight and insisted that he stay during each of my exams by the new set of doctors and nurses on this floor and during my continued visits.

I think I even fell asleep gripping his hand as when I awoke that evening, a meal tray was seated in front of me and Jasper was sleeping also in the chair close to mine. I loosened my clutch to him and pulled away slowly as to not disturb him.

I used the controls on my hospital bed to sit up further as my body was still too weak to sit up for prolonged periods on my own and managed to get my tray closer to me.

This was the first time I had seen food since I have been here. My stomach rumbled as I hadn't even realized before that I was hungry.

I removed the lid to the tray and saw some strained, soggy string beans, mashed potatoes and chopped chicken with gravy. Dessert was a side of Jell-O. Ugh, hospital food. Well, at least it was something.

I hesitantly took my first bite of mashed potatoes. I admit it wasn't horrible, but it certainly wasn't great. I managed to get down a few bites of each item on my tray before becoming too tired and setting my fork down.

I managed to continue sit upright in the bed, but I quickly knew I was having difficulty with this food. I didn't have time to call out to Jasper or a nurse before I vomited the little bit that I ate onto the blanket in front of me.

Jasper quickly rose to the noise of my sickness and ran for help.

He re-entered with the nurse and an aide who helped me get cleaned up and made sure I was not going to vomit anymore.

It took longer than usual to get the area cleaned, but when it did I felt exhausted again.

I called Jasper to come closer and maintained as much physical contact as I could until I finally fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

Hooray for Edward getting better! And another Hooray for all of my lovely, lovely reviewers.

You are all incredible and you give me the motivation to type out some of these chapters. I know without you, I don't think I would be able to finish this story, but with your support I certainly will. I need that deadline! Just review to find out when the deadline for the next chapter is.

Happy reading… and we are back to Jasper. It's been a while since we've heard from him.

I do not own twilight, Jasper or Edward.

Chapter 20 – JPOV

The time I spent with the family in the waiting room over next few days since Emmett attempted to apologize were awkward and stiff.

No one said anything, but I think the stress rolled off of me in waves.

I hoped they thought it was primarily because of the time going on two weeks within these walls, but I knew better as I'm sure Emmett did also.

I was reluctant to go far despite the tension. Now that Edward was awake, so much was changing in such a short time.

I couldn't say how excited I was when early the next morning, Dr. Biers came to give us a short update and told us we no longer needed the isolation gowns.

I couldn't stop myself from running in and placing my lips firmly again Edward's.

There was a time just days ago when I didn't know if I would ever be able to experience that feeling again.

Fortunately, the fire that ignited between us the first time we kissed was still burning. He returned my sentiment quickly as if there was no time between us.

We both got lost in each other until his monitors reminded me that this man I loved so dearly, while better was still sick. While true, he was breathing now without the ventilator tube, he still had a tube sticking out of his chest to help him breathe easier and was weak.

I was kicking myself for not thinking of his needs and getting carried away when I heard the most perfect words he could utter, "I love you, Jasper."

It was difficult to express all the happiness and joy I felt now and the fear and sadness I felt a few days ago, but I tried. I needed him to know that things were going to be different now, I wouldn't let him work himself to complete exhaustion and sickness, I needed him too much.

He promised to be near, not to leave, but I remember he was unconscious for the most difficult of times. Does he really understand the fear I felt as well as the rest of the family? Does he understand the fact that I cannot live without him now? I wasn't sure.

I shook my head and remembered despite our passionate kiss and the love that was shared in those few moments, I couldn't place such stress on his fatigued body and mind.

Surely, this wasn't over, but I would fight the war another day.

I stared into his eyes and whispered, "Promise?"

He promised not to leave me, but to me it meant so much more. We would both be together a tomorrow and a week from now and a year from now. We would sort out these decisions at another time.

I spent the rest of my time with my hands running through his beautiful copper hair and whispering sweet nothings in his ear as he drifted in and out of consciousness.

I pressed a kiss to his lips once more as he dozed peacefully before leaving.

I returned to the uncomfortable silence of the waiting room.

Emmett certainly appeared to be trying during the time. Instead of ignoring my existence within the room, he brought me coffee and offered the front pages of his newspaper.

Once, he asked me if I knew of any good restaurants in the area so he could go out and find a decent meal for Rosalie one day this week. To say that I was stunned would be an understatement.

I rattled off a list of Edward's and my favorite restaurants including Italian, Indian and Chinese food as well as a burger shop and an independent coffee shop that was a few blocks away.

He thanked me and made a note of the Chinese restaurant and found directions to the coffee shop on his iphone.

I certainly said more words to Emmett in those few hours than I had in the years I had been with Edward.

I spent the next few hours reading Emmett's paper and preparing some notes for my next video-lesson for my classes until Edward's nurse entered the room to inform us he was being moved to a regular room a few floors up.

The family stood and followed the nurse's directions to the seventh floor.

The best thing, next to Edward's obvious improvement from a medical standpoint was the more relaxed visiting hours including more people at his bedside.

Thus, as soon as we reached the floor, I was able to be one of the first to be at his bedside.

He seemed overjoyed, if not over exhausted to see me as the first person to walk through his door.

He has done little in the time since he woke but sleep, but it didn't appear to be a restful sleep. There was always someone coming to wake him and I suspect his discomfort may be greater than he lets on.

I can't imagine his throat was comfortable to speak with after the tube was removed and I couldn't only imagine the chatting Alice continued during her time with him.

Also, I have heard the nurses say that chest tubes can be painful to place. Thank god he wasn't awake for that, but if it was hard to put in, it couldn't be easy to keep in.

As soon as I was close enough, Edward took my hand in his and I'm pretty sure he was squeezing as hard as he could.

Normally, my Edward made sure to work out in our home gym every single morning. He has been known to be able to tackle and carry me up two flights of stairs from the wine racks in the basement to our bedroom on the second floor without breaking a sweat and having plenty of energy to spare for our personal activities.

Now, he was just barely hanging on.

I didn't want him to let go, I didn't fight him; in fact I held his hand harder.

Since he had a new staff on this floor, multiple nurses and doctors came to take his vital signs and ask him a series of questions.

The questions were always the same: his name, the place, the month and year, if he was in any pain.

He always knew the place and time. He always said he had no pain and by the third time he answered the same questions, he was exhausted and cranky.

After his new nurse, Emily left the room, he was sound asleep.

I spoke softly to him, whispering our story of the day he brought me to First Beach near his parent's house in Forks.

We were in town visiting for his mother's birthday.

Late in the evening after the party, he whispered in my ear if I would go for a drive, and who was I to deny him anything.

He took me to a secluded corner of the beach right up against the cliffs.

When he appeared to find just the right place, he dropped to the ground and pulled me with him. I sat up with my back up against the rock and he laid his head in my lap and whispered all of the things he wanted to do now that we were together.

Those were the things I whispered to him now.

He said he wanted us to be together forever. He wanted us to spend every night and wake up every morning in my arms. He said I was the only one he wanted to feel against him and inside of him from this moment on. He wanted us to grow old and gray together.

At the time, that was all I wanted. His dream sounded like nirvana to me.

At that time, I leaned forward and kissed him. Soon I was naked under him and we made love right there on the sand.

But now I need more than sex no matter if it is really really hot sex. I need the world to know that he is mine forever.

"Marry me, Edward," I whispered against his ear, "I need you forever."

"Mmm, Jasper," he mumbled in his sleep, "forever."

I smiled before sitting back to get comfortable in my chair again and drifting asleep myself.

It was the most perfect and restful sleep I had since I could remember.

Unfortunately, I was woken abruptly to a horrendous noise.

My eyes shot open and focused to see my Edward pale, shaking and covered in bile.

I stared for a moment before heaving just a little bit into my mouth.

I ran from the room to control my stomach.

I was halfway down the hall to the men's room when I ran into Emily.

"Edward," I gasped, stopping her.

I doubled over to catch my breath, I had barely realized before that I started to hyperventilate.

"Edward puked," I managed.

She placed a hand gently on my shoulder and nodded saying, "I'll go take care of him, go catch your breath and get cleaned up. Our family room is just two doors down. I'll find you there as soon as I can check on Edward."

I did go to wash out my mouth in the bathroom then ignored the nurse's advice and followed her back to Edward's side. When I arrived, Emily was there with a younger woman who were both there to clean him up.

I stood back to allow them do their job, but Edward still reached out for me. I looked down at him and saw his face was red and his eyes were shining. He was embarrassed about being sick, but it was an accident. I knew he didn't enjoy the women putting their hands on his body.

I touched his finger tips that were stretched towards me and said in the most comforting voice I could, "I'm here, baby. Relax and let the nurses do their job." Edward smiled weakly up at me in response.

He squeezed his eyes closed and I watched as he envisioned us somewhere else.

I saw out of the corner of my eye, the younger nurse smirking at me as she worked. It took her about ten minutes to finish cleaning Edward and they made a hasty retreat.

When they left the room, I smoothed Edward's out of control hair away from his forehead and whispered, "Do you remember that night on the beach?"

He smiled against my lips and responded, "How could I forget?"

Just before we could get much further, he was asleep again.

Just as his eyes closed and his breathing evened out again, the entire family entered his room.

I waved and gestured for them to be quiet, but Esme and Alice were just inches from waking him as they leaned over his prone body.

Thank goodness, Carlisle understood the message and pulled them back before they could wake Edward again.

Since no story was being delivered from Edward's lips they all turned to me.

"What happened, Jasper," Emmett asked. I think this is the first time he ever uttered my name without disgust.

I explained the last half hour the best I could and all of us but Emmett and Rosalie filed out of the room.

I didn't see my love again until morning. At that time, Bella, Alice, and I were all surrounding Edward as he smiled and joked.

Every few minutes, a new group of doctors, nurses and rehab specialists came to see him.

He saw pulmonologists, a urologist, a hospitalist and Dr. Denali. A group of interns, residents and nurses always accompanied them and it was always the same set of questions repeated.

I begged him once to be honest if he was having pain, but he continued to deny it. I could see his stubborn streak shining through, despite I could see the pinch of pain reflect in his perfect green eyes.

When the doctors saw him, he constantly refused.

When the physical therapist came to test his strength, he couldn't hide it anymore. The therapist moved his arms and legs, then tried to have him sit on the edge of the bed.

He needed the help of three grown men and myself to move to the edge, then they asked me to sit behind him to help keep him upright.

Edward looked great for the first five minutes. He was fatiguing quickly and the amount of pain shined through.

He started breathing in short pants and I literally had to hold him up after eight minutes.

The therapists praised his performance, but I could see in his eyes how frustrated Edward felt. For such a strong man not to be sitting up, he was a serious blow to his own manhood.

The primary therapist who was named James asked if he needed anything for pain and finally Edward nodded stating he had pain located in his chest and back that traveled all of the way down his legs now.

I pressed my kiss into his hairline and watched as the therapists almost picked Edward up off the bed to settle him.

They said goodbye and sent the nurse into the room after a few minutes with another needle.

We all watched as she placed the pain medication directly into his IV and a short while later his eyes began to droop again.

This was the longest I had ever seen Edward stay awake however since he was admitted.

He was awake all morning and busy with all of the people until almost lunch time.

Knowing he would sleep well and probably for long given his exhaustion and the medication, I pressed one last kiss to him and spent the rest of my day in the waiting room.


	21. Chapter 21

You guys put me over 300 reviews. Have I ever mentioned that you are the absolute BEST? Well if I haven't mentioned it 20 times before, you certainly are.

This story seems to find a mind of its own. My fingers just do the work. Thank you so much for all of your appreciation.

Do you have a favorite chapter from the first 20? Which one is it?

Thanks for reading!

I do not own twilight.

Chapter 21- EPOV

My first full day on the medical floor was exhausting.

I was woken at five o'clock in the morning again by the nurse to take my blood pressure, oxygen saturation and blood sugar.

The advantage was I was no longer hooked up to the tele-monitor twenty-four/seven. The downfall was being woken up every two hours to have it checked.

I barely remember them doing it in the middle of the night, but now I lay here counting the seconds tick on the clock. I know in my usual routine, I'm usually up in the gym at this time before I have breakfast and drive to work, but now CF feels a million miles away.

There's no way I could work in my current condition. I could barely sit up much less try to think straight and organize the thousand employees that count on me daily.

A part of me was angry at myself for allowing my body to get to this point of dehydration and fatigue. Another part of me was angry at my family. Were the expectations that were set by Granddad unrealistic? Were Jasper and I too involved in our careers to realize this detriment to our bodies?

Maybe I wasn't right for him. Maybe he'd do better without me if I was going to cause this amount of damage to myself and those around me.

It was impossible to miss the dark circles under his eyes and the wear the past two weeks have taken on his soul. His shoulders sagged and his countenance was sad.

No other options seemed feasible to me the more I thought about how sad he seemed when he was near me.

I lifted my hands to my head and pulled against my hair.

The only tear the pain brought to my eye was the knowledge of how Jasper likes to tug against me when we're making love.

I tugged harder. Right now all I needed was the pain.

By the time the sun rose, I had managed to wipe the pain and fear away with the edge of my hospital gown.

Bella, Alice and Jasper entered the room first.

Alice curled up in the chair closest to mine and rested her head next to me as she would when we were kids and told each other our secrets.

Right now, my secrets were too much to bear and were too painful to express, instead I forced smiles and laughed at Bella's jokes to hide it.

I feared Jasper could see the true me lurking; he always did know me best.

There were more than a few times in the morning when I caught his blue eyes and they were filled with concern… and the same sadness I remembered from before.

The four of us were in the middle of joking about the time Bella, Jasper and I decided it would be a great idea to dye our hair green for the baseball game. Fortunately, it was able to wash out of mine and Bella's darker hair but Jasper had to hunt down the only hairdresser in Hanover that was open and willing to strip his beautiful blonde locks of the green dye.

Tears were running down my sister's face despite it was certainly not the first time she had heard the story as she laughed.

A team of pulmonologists entered the room, almost filling it to capacity with the four of us. They made me breathe into a plastic contraption and each of the doctors HAD to listen to my lungs as I took deep breaths over and over again.

They declared that I seemed to be improving and they hoped the chest tube could come out in another day or so.

Hallelujah for that. I couldn't turn or bend to my left without the damn thing stabbing me in the ribs. I couldn't wait for all of these tubes to be out of me.

The team of doctors all left as they came, in a massive herd.

Bella, Alice, Jasper and I had about twenty minutes of subdued silence before there was another knock at my door.

Bella and Alice stepped out as the urologist entered. Jasper whispered if I wanted him to go, but I needed him here with me. I needed as much time with him as I possibly could before the end came. And what this doctor was coming to look at wasn't any different than he had seen before.

Thank god, there was only one urologist and his test was fairly simple. He asked me some questions about my prior urinary continence, asked about my liquid intake since I was extubated and checked the bag that was connected to my foley catheter at the end of the bed.

In the end, he just nodded at me and promised to return tomorrow.

My new hospitalist was in immediately after and introduced herself as Dr. Birch. She completed a basic checks of the strength in my arms and legs as well as made a quick note of my lungs before sitting back and explaining to me what my new plan was for this floor.

She said she had placed a consult for the rehab team to evaluate me and that I may need rehab before I could go home.

It was not a surprise, but I certainly didn't like the news. I knew I couldn't stand much less walk and run in my current condition.

Dr. Birch also explained that for each day that I was unconscious and laid in the bed in the ICU, I lost half of my muscle and strength.

I thanked god that I was pretty fit to begin with, but she just reminded me that was more muscle to lose during that time.

Damn I was frustrated and it must have showed.

She asked if I had any pain and I refused.

The worst part of the day was when the physical therapists came. They gave me proof that I didn't need regarding how weak I really was.

I knew I was, but when I got to the point when I could barely hold myself up without falling over, I wanted to punch something or somebody.

One of the therapists I could swear was making eyes at my Jasper.

I felt all of my muscles clench in anger, but such stress on my muscles only made me more tired more quickly and it sent a shot of unadulterated pain down the left side of my body.

I managed to gasp out, "Pain!" but the team already seemed aware.

They asked me where and I told them what I felt in my back and chest and leg, but I couldn't tell how clear my words were.

I was blinded by the pain and felt my body being shifted.

I heard the tall blonde who was assisting me sit, I forget his name, ask if I wanted medicine and I nodded frantically.

I didn't hear their next words, but suddenly I felt like I had a lot more room to breathe.

When I opened my eyes, a young woman was next to me, pushing something into my IV line.

She placed a hand on my shoulder and asked how bad the pain was on a scale of one to ten.

Now that I was laying still again, it had started to subside. "Seven," I whispered. She nodded and left the room.

It didn't take long to feel the pleasant numbness of the medicine begin to take its affect.

I stared up at my best friends. My chosen family and before I could whisper "I love you" I was asleep.

I don't know exactly how long I was out for. I guess it was about five or six hours. I could see red and orange shadows poke from behind the blinds that separated me from the rest of the world.

I turned my head slightly and saw Mom and Dad with Granddad and Mom-Mom huddled in the corner whispering to each other.

"Gonna let me in on your secret?" I asked in my hoarse voice while peering across at them in the dusk's light.

Mom was the first up out of her chair with her arms around me when I had just barely gotten the words past my lips.

"Edward, baby," she cried out into my arms.

Slowly, I reached up and placed my arm around her shoulders in a delicate hug.

"Hi, Mom," I responded.

She touched my cheek as she almost yelled, "Don't ever, ever, ever do that to me again. Do you hear me young man?"

"Yes, Mom," I smirked slightly in her direction, it was really Dad's smirk and she was always a sucker for it.

But this time she scolded me, "Do not give me that lip, Edward. I know where you got that lip and you may be grown and gone, but I can put that lip where it belongs."

I gave her the best sulking face that I could under the circumstances as Dad walked up behind her softly saying, "Dear, he doesn't even know what he's being yelled at for. Give the boy a break."

Instead of allowing Dad to pull her back from me, Mom stood her ground and said, "I heard Emmett talking to the others. You were riding motorcycles and ATVs on the mountain? Were you trying to kill yourself?"

My mouth popped open in shock.

I couldn't have been more than fourteen when the guys from the reservation offered to let us ride with them and who was I to say no.

That was back when I craved the excitement and adrenaline. Now I only craved it sitting behind my cherry desk in the office.

But now, more than ten years later Emmett blabs about us driving on the edge of the cliffs.

I glance up at Dad, he looks like he got off scot-free. I guess they didn't get to the part where I did a flip off the bike and landed hard on my left knee.

My pants were torn and my knee was skinned open and bleeding. Emmett panicked and loaded me on the back of his bike and blew through town to the local hospital where Dad fixed me up with thirteen stitches.

Thank goodness it was early fall so I could wear pants for the few weeks until it healed, but we never told Mom.

Dad said it could be our secret between us. When Mom went out to the store a week later, Dad dragged me back to the office and removed the stitches. I still swear he did it in the most painful way possible, but that could have also been because he was yelling at me that he would never lie to my mother again for us.

Of course that did stop us from our adventures, but we learned to keep them quiet.

God I'm going to kill Emmett. If he were here right now, I would have to have someone help me put my hands around his neck and squeeze, but it would be my hands.

Dad managed to pry Mom off of my head and led her out of the room saying, "Come, dear. Let's get you a cup of tea."

That left me alone with my grandparents who were still sitting across the room. I saw my familiar smirk settle across Mom-Mom's lips.

"How are you feeling, Edward dear," she asked.

"Better," I promised.

I could do nothing but watch as she moved closer to my bedside and Granddad pulled her chair closer to me. Touching my arm she asked me, "Have I ever told you the time your father decided it would be a good idea to jump off of the roof of the lake house into the water?"

I couldn't respond as my jaw just about hit the floor. She certainly had never told me this story.

Mom-Mom laughed as she took in my response and continued, "Ha! He must have been about eight or nine at the time. He had just met the family that moved in next door. There were two twin brothers a few years older than him and a pretty young girl a few months younger.

"He had taken a dare to take a nose dive off the house into the water. Let's just say he hit the water, but landed like a ton of bricks. The boys panicked and ran off. Your grandfather and I heard some commotion. Edward dove in clothes and all and pulled your father out. He just about caught hypothermia. He broke his wrist and needed surgery to remove his spleen."

"His spleen," I gasped, "He told us that he had his appendix out when he was young."

Mom-Mom just shook her head and laughed, "It took some time for him to regain full use of his hand after being in a splint. He wasn't allowed to swim for the rest of the summer because his stitches and he was grounded for months after that stunt, but look at your father now. He has become one of the best surgeons on the west coast.

"It took time and perseverance, but I have never been more proud of my son as I am now."

She leaned down and gave me a hug before leaving me in my first moment of silence since early this morning.

I leaned my head back into my pillows and counted the dots on the ceiling again while I pondered her words.

I knew my life was about to change, but I could not know the extent.


	22. Chapter 22

Alright, I know many of you hate me for the last chapter. Well…. Sorry but this chapter is definitely not any better. Even angstier if I do say so myself, but rehabilitation is a difficult process in more ways than one and this story has been about more than just Edward since the beginning.

Don't say I didn't warn you, but I still love all of my readers.

I don't and will never own twilight.

Chapter 22 – EPOV

This week has been pure hell. It has made the few days that I spent in the ICU a piece of cake; well at least the few days that I remember.

Sleep was eluding me and when the sun rose every morning I became crankier.

It was probably good that Bella had to go home to Arizona, so she managed to avoid my wrath. Everyone else; however, stayed.

Every day was the same; my family came through in groups of three or four. The teams of doctors would come in the morning to poke and prod at me. The therapists came in twice per day, once in the morning and once in the afternoon, to force my muscles to move.

There were only so many times I could talk about the weather when my parents and grandparents came marching into the room. Other than a few mundane topics, I was unable to hold my temper long enough for conversations about my progress or about work. I told you I was cranky.

I know mom left the room in tears more than once after I snapped. I felt bad, I really did, but right now I didn't want to be coddled. I just wanted to stew in my own melodramatic thoughts.

Mom did, however receive permission from my team of doctors to bring me food. The best part about it was it forced her to go home and get some rest although later. Jasper had shared the key to our condo.

The first time went home, she returned with all of my favorites. I swear, every surface of my room was covered in food from roast chicken, mashed potatoes, warm biscuits to vegetable soup and bread pudding.

I think I managed to keep down a few bites of a biscuit before my stomach began to churn.

That's the other problem, despite the medications the doctors are giving me for nausea and no matter what kind of food they place in front of me, I can manage five or six bites before I can't take anymore.

I tried to explain this to Mom and she cut back on her daily offerings _a bit_ but it was still more than enough to feed me, the entire staff and an army.

I was probably the best liked patient on the floor despite my temper just for Mom's food.

When Emmett came in, the atmosphere continued to be stressed and few things of importance were said. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he bit his tongue. Probably literally since most of the time he spent in my room he had his mouth stuffed with chicken and mashed potatoes or soup.

Alice was still the same old Alice. I knew my phone bill was usually sky high since we talk every Sunday from halfway around the world from one another.

So, as soon as she entered my room she chatted about everything from the cute intern she saw walking down the hall to the latest in fashion. I didn't try to stop her and I really didn't listen either. Every once in a while I would smile and nod, and I think she knew that I wasn't really paying attention, but she continued anyway.

And of course there was Jasper. He would come in and hold my hand, once I managed to convince him to lie next to me for a few minutes.

I think Jasper knew how I was struggling with my feelings. We always shared that electric connection from the first time we met in his dorm lobby.

We said very little, but we were always in contact whether we were holding hands or if I scooted so far to the edge of my bed that I was almost falling off and he moved his chair directly beside me.

It became common for the nurses to enter my room to see us in such close proximity. The first time my older nurse, Sharon saw us I could tell she was shocked, but soon enough she accepted it with very little reaction.

For all of those hours and days that I spent connected to him, I wanted to say something. I wanted to demand that he go home, that he should leave and find a person who was whole and could give him everything he deserves, but my heart wouldn't let me.

Sometimes I would take the breath to say it, but the words wouldn't come. I know he felt it because he would look down at me with his beautiful blue eyes and press a kiss to my lips. With the touch, there was no way I could break his heart or my own.

So he stayed.

I grew up with a surgeon father. The medical jargon and the procedures didn't faze me much even through the discomfort. Jasper on the other hand, had some difficulty being in the room with me when the medical team entered.

I could see as he tried to be strong and hold my hand the day they came to remove my chest tube. I was just happy that the damn thing was being removed. I couldn't roll to my left without it pinching or getting in the way, but when the doctor came towards me with a pair of scissors to remove the stitch holding it in; my Jasper turned a sickly shade of green and had to leave the room.

The actual removal of the tube didn't even hurt. I felt some pressure in my side and it was done.

The doctors rarely did anything more interesting at my bedside, but after that experience Jasper always left the room if the doctors came.

He was with me every single time the therapists came to see me though. He always whispered encouraging things in my ear and gave me hope to get out of this place a day sooner.

However, today happened to be an extra cranky day after six days of little to no sleep.

The physical therapist, Tom had me sitting up on the edge of the bed and he told me we were going to stand and take a few steps today.

I took a deep breath before looking up into Tom's eyes determined to do this. With his help, an assistant behind me and Jasper holding my hand, I managed to stand up on my own two feet. I still felt the stinging pain run from my shoulders down to my toes. The doctors said it was from being stuck in the bed for so long.

So I was standing. After a few seconds, I felt myself begin to sway, but they kept me upright.

After a few minutes and in response to Tom's prompting, I eased one foot in front of the other for my first step since this whole ordeal began. With a second step, everyone cheered. After a third step, I was done and my legs almost gave out on me. Of course, the therapists were all there to keep me upright and they unceremoniously dumped me into a lounge chair.

To say I wasn't happy was an understatement. I needed my bed. I was hurting and I wanted to be in my bed. Unfortunately for me, I was stuck and Tom told me I was to sit up in this chair through lunch and for at least two hours until they came back for my afternoon sessions.

He promised to send a nurse with a pain pill and then they left.

And Jasper was the only one left to take the brunt of my pain and anger.

He knelt in front of me to tell me how great I did, and I lost it.

I lost all control and reason.

"You don't know the first fucking thing about how I do, Jasper," I yelled. Did I mention that I got my voice back? Oh yeah, I may get out of breath after yelling just a sentence or two, but I can make myself heard loud and clear now.

Jasper looked a little taken aback, but was trying to take it all in stride. He knew how uneasy I have been, but I didn't stop.

"Edward," he whispers, but I cut him off with loathing in my voice saying, "You need to leave, Jasper."

He shakes his blonde head at me, but I take a deep breath willing my voice to be strong, "You need to leave."

"I want you to leave," I finish with my voice cracking.

His head jerks up to be level with my own and he says, "No, Edward. I know this is a difficult for you and you don't like relying on everyone else, but no, Edward. I'll give you a few minutes if that's what you need, but I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Edward."

I try to blink the tears away from my burning eyes and I whisper, "I don't want you..."

Here.

Hurting.

In pain… because of me.

But I am unable to force the words from my tongue.

My voice gives out.

I look up to try to tell him what I mean, what I need.

But he's gone.

JPOV

I know Edward has been struggling since he woke.

I know he's in pain.

I know he tries to hide most of what he feels beneath a false veneer. But I see it in his eyes. And I'm not the only one.

I know his mother can feel his pain, his depression. She tries to cure it the best way she knows how, but he doesn't want to be babied. I think it only makes it worse.

When I entered his room, I did my best to chip through the stone walls he was building around himself. Here and there a few comforting words would be said. We'd talk about our few friends that we had beyond these walls.

Once I managed to climb into bed with him and hold him.

With my arms around him, he was able to sleep for a few moments. I knew when his breathing evened and his body molded into mine, but it only lasted a minute since the nurse entered a moment later and I had to excuse myself from the bed.

And I continued to try to break through those walls.

Little did I know that it would come crumbling down all at once in my direction.

He yelled.

He threw the words that he knew would hurt me the most in my direction.

Why is it that those you love always know how to hurt you the most?

A part of me knew he really didn't mean what he said, but the other part just felt pain.

He knew those words were reminiscent of those my father stated the last time I saw him. "I want you to leave. I don't want you here. You are not my son."

I left then.

I did as he asked and I left Edward. I walked away with him left in his uncomfortable chair by himself.

I never thought I would leave. I love my Edward and I always said I would fight for what we had.

I leaned my body against the thin plaster wall outside of his room and sank to the ground. I heard his muffled sob from just inside the door.

I should go back. We need to fix this.

I pull at my hair in agitation. Ahh, another habit I must have learned from my Cullen.

I can't.

I can't go in there now.

Maybe later.

I stand and for the first time in three and a half weeks I leave the hospital by my own volition.


	23. Chapter 23

WOW-I think the previous chapter received a record number of reviews of all of my previous chapters. All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you.

Your words are all too kind and I am grateful for every single one.

Here is chapter 23 as promised – in Edward's POV. Jasper will be in chapter 24.

I do not own twilight.

Chapter 23 – EPOV

I held my head in my hands. As hard as I tried, I was unable to keep the ragged sob from escaping from my chest.

My mind ran in static motion. What have I done? What have I done?

Time has no meaning without my Jasper. I don't know how long I sit alone in this painfully uncomfortable chair before I feel the presence of another.

I don't have the strength to look up, but I can guess it's not Mom or Alice.

If it were, I know they would be smothering me and talking a mile a minute by seeing me in this state.

There is uncomfortable silence knowing that whomever is standing in my doorway is staring at me.

Finally, I can't stand it anymore and whisper in a hoarse voice, "Come in or leave. Just shut the door behind you."

"Edward," a deep voice responded, "What the hell happened?"

I lifted my head out of my shaking hands, stretching my neck in an awkward position to look up at my most recent visitor.

Emmett stepped into my room, crossing the threshold and closing the door only to leave a crack between the door and the jam.

Emmett was the last person that I needed to talk to, so despite my tear streaked cheeks and I'm sure swollen eyes I muttered, "I have no idea what you're talking about," and returned my head to my hands hoping he would accept my non-answer and leave.

Unfortunately, my hopes were quickly dashed.

I heard his footsteps against the tile floor until he stood in front of me.

I had no choice but to stare at his jean-clad legs or look up.

Having little interest in staring at his 'I'm sure ultra-expensive jeans' since Rose bought them, I sat back in my chair and snapped, "What do you want Emmett?"

"What in God's name did you do," he asked me.

I shrugged again, not wanting to get into the details of my love life (or prior love life now that I ruined the best thing I ever had.)

"Bull shit," he said with more intensity and more serious than I ever remember him being.

"I saw Jasper," he started, "I was out getting some fresh air and getting some decent coffee for me and Rose when I saw him walking down the street.

"Damn, man," Emmett continued, "he looked like shit. I got worried, I thought something happened to you, but he said he was leaving."

"That didn't make sense. He never leaves by himself. The few times when he did, Alice or Bella had to drag him out of the hospital almost kicking and screaming.

"But then he said the craziest thing, something I still don't quite believe. He said you told him to leave, that you didn't want him anymore."

My words were coming back to haunt me from Emmett's mouth. If I were standing, I would have fallen to the ground and lost my lunch out of grief instead of this damned flu.

I shook my head and the tears threatened to fall from my eyes again.

I was still stuck in my monotony. What have I done; what have I done?

Emmett continued to stand in front of me, apparently waiting for me to straighten up and explain my despicable actions.

Eventually, I catch my breath and mutter, "I fucked up, Emmett. I fucked up huge. I was tired, I was hurting. I yelled. I told him I didn't need him. What have I done?"

"What do you mean you don't need him," Emmett demanded, "You're all he's lived for, we watched. We watched you react to him in ways you didn't react to anyone… not Mom, or Dad or even Alice."

I swallowed and shook my head. "I DO need him, Em," I assured him, but he left me. I hurt him in ways that are inconceivable. I don't deserve him."

Emmett crouched in front of me demanding my attention and said, "That's the thing about love, man. I have said the most stupid things imaginable to Rosie, but she knows I don't mean them. She gets mad at me for a while, then I get on my knees and apologize and promise not to do it again, until I do."

"The most important thing about love is that you both make mistakes, but you both know how to forgive."

What the hell? I know I didn't know my brother for too many years, but when did he learn to feel and express this shit.

For too many years, Emmett hated me and Jasper.

"I thought you'd be happy he was gone," I breathed.

Emmett shook his head vigorously before saying, "No, Edward, I'm not happy."

Mildly surprised by the response I say, "You haven't liked Jasper since day one. You couldn't wait for him to leave me."

He shakes his head again, "Damn, Edward. I have tried to apologize. I am doing everything I know to try and show you that I know now that I was wrong.

Do you really think I just want you to be unhappy? I've always wanted you to be happy, I just didn't know the difference between your kind of happy and my kind of happy. It had nothing to do with Jasper. How could it? I never even knew him until a few weeks ago.

"But that was my fault. I never stayed long enough to get to know him. To see that his presence makes you smile and his absence makes you-," he waves his hands toward me. I know I must look like shit.

A part of me is shocked. We have not said so many words to each other since we were kids.

There is a heavy silence until it becomes too much and I say, "It still doesn't matter. He left me."

"He'll be back," Emmett promises. "I saw him as a broken man when you were in that coma; when we didn't know if you were going to wake up, anyone in that room could tell you he was ready to jump in next to you if you didn't make it. But I saw him out there" while waving towards the closed door, "he's hurt, not broken. Give him some time and he'll be back."

I am at my last straw, all I want to do is run out of this room and search the city until I can find my Jasper, but my stupid body will not allow me. I want to drop to my knees and beg his forgiveness.

I hang my head and say, "Damn, I really fucked this up."

"Yeah," Emmett smirked, "but that's what make up sex is for."

That one sentence shocked me more than Emmett's entire soliloquy did. It sounded like the old Emmett, revolving only around food, sex and football, but the topic of sex had been solely avoided up to this point. Typically our brief small talk is regarding the horrendous hospital food, Emmett's next order of Mom's lunch for the next day or the status of the Seahawks.

I saw Emmett shutter out of the corner of my eye and snickered slightly to myself. Everyone this side of the moon knew Emmett's love of women, but they never held the same appeal to me.

When I was fourteen, I kissed Lucy Welch in the woods behind my house. True, I was thirteen and it was one of those awkward first kisses, but even now I shuddered myself remembering her chapped lips and wormy tongue forcing its way in my mouth.

The next few years were pretty bland for me with another few smooches here and there with no effect other than my deflating cock with each one.

It wasn't until three years later when I met Benjamin in a trip to Port Angeles. We had barely said hello and I knew something was different.

I went home at night and dreamed of his lips on mine. We saw each other a few times in town, but it never went any further.

I shuddered one more time before changing the subject, "While we're clearing the air, Em…"

He looked down expectantly.

"Did you have a reason to tell Mom about crashing dirt bikes on the reservation or was that just for fun?"

He gave a quick laugh before recounting, "Well Bella and I were telling stupid stories about you and Mom just happened to walk in when I was telling her the time Sam gave us the dirt bike and four-wheeler. Thank god they stopped me before I told them how you flipped the bike and I had to rush you to the hospital so Dad could stitch you up."

A knock sounds at the door and we both turn towards it.

My nurse, Sharon is standing in the doorway holding a tray. The entire family is standing behind her.

From the look on Mom and Dad's face, they heard everything.

Our faces turned to a matching blush red as we knew we were in trouble.

Sharon set my lunch down while rolling the tray table in front of me and repeating the doctor's mantra to eat.

I don't move to lift the lid from the tray or pick up a fork.

Our eyes are trained on Mom as she walks with purpose in front of us. She has her hands on her hips and her expression tells us she means business. Dad just looks nervous.

She stares us both down in a look that we have known since we were little saying "spill your guts now" but I think we're both too nervous to speak.

Finally, she puts her foot down saying, "Emmett, why don't you finish your story as to how and why you had to rush your little brother to the hospital."

I swallow hard and glance behind her at Dad. He just shrugs at me. We're stuck.

I take a deep breath and continue the story of being picked up off the ground, rushing us to Forks hospital and even about Dad giving me stitches in my knee.

With each word, we watch Mom's face turn from red to a fearful shade of purple. Growing up, Dad often sent us to our room or banned us from playing ball, but when Mom was mad we all feared for our lives.

She always made sure to remind us that she brought us into the world and she can take us out. My stomach rolled.

She's furious and we all know we'll be in the doghouse for a long time.

"Carlisle," Mom growls. Hmmm. I don't think I've ever heard her growl like that before.

"Yes, dear," he says in his most suave manner.

"We will discuss this when we get home," she promises.

"Yes, dear," he repeats. His voice trembled the second time.

If that isn't good enough Mom-Mom chimes in, "You may be grown, Carlisle, but you're still my son and I can still put you over my knee if need be."

Dad's face blushes bright pink from his mother's words and mumbles, "yes, Mother."

Edward, Alice and I all giggle at the scene before us until Mom promises, "the same goes for you boys."

Our laughter stops immediately leaving only Alice chuckling. I glance over towards Alice and say, "Shut up, Alice."

She's starting to shake so hard that she can't breathe, so I continue, "shut up, Alice, or I'll tell Mom about the time you called me from Olympia to pick you up from that house party when you were seventeen."

I figured, I'm already in the hospital, what else are they going to do to me?

Alice stops laughing immediately and sends me a death glare as Mom turns on her sending the angry glare towards my sister.

At least the pressure was off Emmett and I for a while.

After a much too long pressure filled silence, Mom-Mom leads us away from our guilty conversation and into the food.

We all glance at the tray that lay in front of me and cringe. We play guess the mystery meat and laugh before closing it and clearing the tray away.

Thank goodness Mom brought enough food for all of us. They all stay so we can eat together. Mom was probably up all night in my kitchen preparing all of this. Today is low-fat clam chowder with turkey meatballs, whole wheat fettuccini and a fresh tomato marinara sauce, but it tastes like heaven.

I take my portion first although I only eat a spoonful of soup, one meatball and barely a cup of pasta.

The bowls are passed around so everyone can serve themselves. Emmett gets it last and finishes it off. He still eats the same as he did when we were teenagers.

Mom watches me like a hawk through the entire meal, making sure I eat.

She's too preoccupied through most of the meal to realize one person is missing. Finally it's Mom-Mom who calls out, "Emmett, don't be a piggy. Should we leave some lunch for Jasper?"

My stomach rolls. I can only imagine the sickened color my face must have turned because soon enough, Rose rolls the tray table away from me and Dad has a basin under my chin as I bring up the few minute bites I managed to swallow.

I spend the next ten minutes coughing and trying to catch my breath.

I am barely aware as Mom and Mom-Mom quickly clean up the remnants of the meal and Dad calls the nurse and respiratory therapists before they quickly hang that plastic nasal cannula around my ears to push oxygen into my nose.

I'm up and exhausted.

Most of the family has adjourned back to the waiting room.

The physical therapists come and it takes Tom, the assistant, a nurse and Emmett to help me back to bed.

I lie prone in the bed, limp but sleep continues to allude me.

Silently, Dad and Emmett file quietly from my room. I stare up at the ceiling before whispering, "Emmett."

He turns from his place in the door and looks back at me.

"Thank you."


	24. Chapter 24

Wow-o-wow. This has definitely been the most difficult chapter to write yet. There were a few ways that I wrote this chapter. I rewrote it at least 3 times and even more in my mind, but as usual the fingers take over whatever I was pre-planning. This is the one that stuck.

I am still undecided on the end of this one; let me know what you think.

I do not own twilight.

Chapter 24 – JPOV

I stepped out of the hospital and turned left.

I don't know where I was going; it didn't matter. The important thing right now was getting away from this place.

I walked with purpose. I was barely fifty feet away from the door when I heard my name.

I turned and saw Emmett staring back at me.

I sighed. My head dropped to my chest, my shoulders slumped. I have lost, I have been beaten. I have nothing left.

Emmett quickly closed the distance between us and expressed concern about Edward. "Where was I going," he asked, "What was I doing?"

I had no response.

A sullen shrug of my shoulders was all I could give.

I turned away from Emmett, unwilling to share my new found grief with this man who doesn't know me. I wanted to walk away, but my feet felt like lead.

I was stuck, but I still refused to turn back. I couldn't face this man who tormented us for years. I couldn't go back inside where I wasn't wanted.

I refused allow this man to see the pain that he would know if I turned.

I swallowed and said, "I'm leaving. He doesn't want me."

With those few words, my feet found power.

I made it three steps before Emmett gripped my shoulder with his almighty strength and demanded, "What the hell are you talking about, Jasper. You know he needs you."

I shook my head repeating, "He doesn't want me."

Before he could respond further, I shrugged away from Emmett's powerful grip that most likely left a hand shaped bruise on my shoulder and was crossing the intersection a moment later.

I didn't look back.

I don't know how long I walked the city streets for. I didn't wear the watch Edward gave me for my last birthday. I had turned off my cell phone long ago to avoid Alice's incessant phone calls. I just moved in a daze between the traveling cars and determined people coming and going from their jobs, stores and homes.

I must have been walking for hours because before I knew it the sun was setting. As the sky turned a brilliant shade of orange and red, I realized I had nowhere to turn.

I wasn't willing to go to back where I started now and given the supposed hour, I couldn't go home. I knew if I did, Esme and most of the family would be there cooking the next meal, gossiping the same news.

I could get a hotel room as I carried our credit cards in my back pocket, but I knew there was no way I could sleep and watching bad movies on cable weren't appealing either.

Eventually, my body was exhausted and I dropped my weary self on a small bench on the edge of a park. It was a popular place where people came to walk their dogs, practice their arts and enjoy the occasional beautiful weather such as this night.

Despite the perfect whether on this October day, I felt the dark storm cloud following me.

I held my head in my hands and pondered this horrendous day I have experienced.

My conscious knew that Edward was having difficulty coping with his new circumstances, that he was typically a very independent and stubborn person. It was a part of what I loved about him.

I closed my eyes and remembered our first fight since we moved in together. Living together was not always an easy transition since we were both very strong willed when we wanted something.

The best idea he had after he bought the condo was to have his mother come and decorate for us. Neither of us had the coordination or the deep interest in deciding wine or plum colored borders in our kitchen or cream or champagne carpets in the living room.

We did however agree that while she could do the rest of the house, our bedroom would be ours alone. At least we agreed during the initial planning stages.

After searching the fourth furniture store in a day, I was about to lose my mind.

In each place, I was able to find something suitable for the both of us that I liked, but Edward always found a problem that could possibly go wrong if it was the wrong color or regarding the construction of the material.

You have to understand, nothing was really wrong with the furniture, it was only the fact that there was the possibility.

If both of us hadn't been so belligerent, we could have possibly discussed it in a reasonable manner and compromised, but he was exhausted as was I so we argued right in the middle of the store.

Needless to say, we would not have been welcome back to the Ethan Allen store if Edward hadn't decided in a snap decision to buy the entire bedroom set that I had picked out plus a coordinating office for one of our spare bedrooms.

As hesitant as I was to admit, I knew I could be just as stubborn as the man I resolved to love.

Our first fight was over my beloved truck.

Edward and I had been dating over a year and he was flying into Hanover that evening to see me. He booked a chartered flight after work to fly across the country. He tried to tell me he would take a cab to the school, but I insisted I would pick him up at the small airport.

It was almost one in the morning when he called and told me they had just touched down. I hadn't slept a wink and was so excited to see him after weeks of loneliness, that I jumped in my truck and was ready to start our weekend.

Then she refused to start. I turned the key and I got a scrape and a sputter, but my truck refused to budge.

Sad and mortified that I couldn't pick him up and live out my dream of welcoming him home while running through the gate, I picked up my phone and told him what happened.

He ended up taking the cab and consoling me the rest of the night, but at least he was able to console me from the warm place within his arms.

The next morning, we were both up early. We went to our usual coffee shop for our Sunday breakfast, although it wasn't Sunday.

We held hands while chatting and walking the streets of Hanover. That was when he dropped the bomb.

He wanted me to send my Sadie, my truck to the scrap yard. He told me he'd buy me a new car, anything I wanted.

I shook my head, I fought and I yelled. I didn't want a new car, I wanted my truck. I saved my money for two years after I turned 16 to buy her. She cost me three thousand dollars from my daddy's neighbor and that was a deal. Of course she was five years used then and nine years later they just don't build them like they used to.

So I fought tooth and nail for my truck.

Finally, Edward gave in and he helped me call a tow truck to take her to the garage.

My Sadie was in the garage more than she was home at the end. I'd have her for a week then a exhaust system blew or the alternator went bad. Before I knew it, I was scraping the bottom of my piggy bank for those few extra dimes to buy my latte in the morning.

Edward tried to be understanding during that time, but when he came to visit in April and we had a sudden cold snap we really didn't feel like walking to the coffee shop five blocks away.

He told me then that I was his forever. The money didn't matter.

We went out and bought a Volvo C30 that afternoon. I tried to make sure it was one of the smaller vehicles in their stock, but Edward made sure it came fully loaded with heated seats and mirrors, GPS navigation and Bluetooth capabilities.

It took some time getting used to the smaller vehicle, but it took just as much time not to hold it against him for buying me such an extravagant present. He paid cash without blinking an eye.

I'm pretty sure I almost fainted when he scribbled out a check for the amount and handed me the keys.

It took me some time to adjust to the subtle change in our relationship, but the everyday Edward was still the same. He loved me and I loved him.

He didn't use his checkbook to buy unnecessary things or to win people over. It was just there if he thought it was needed. It was a way of life for him.

The Cullens never wanted for anything. God, Edward had a trust fund. He was a millionaire before he was even born.

We still had our arguments over money, but that was always forgiven.

Today he cut open my heart and it felt like it was going to bleed dry.

I still had no answers.

I sat in silence, but for my own incomprehensible thoughts until the chimes rang in the nearby church steeple.

I don't know what ran my body, but my legs stood me and walked to the corner of the park where the church sat.

It was a monstrous place made out of shell rock and mortar. You could see where the stained glass windows would normally through brightly colored patterns during the daylight.

The top of the steeple seemed miles away from where I stood on the lowly ground.

Then, from where I stood, I began to hear voices from inside the doors. They started soft until they strengthened in unison. I knew the words even though it had been almost a decade since I stepped through the doors of a sacred place as this.

_I once was lost  
>But now I'm found<br>Was blind but now I see_

I certainly was lost, I feel like I'm a blind man wandering the lonely city streets.

Is this my answer? I was lost and then I just figured it out?

It couldn't be that easy.

If it were, I'd be in my Edward's arms again by now.

And I breathe.

I know it was only a few days ago when I felt blind, but in a different way. I thought I was ready to cease my existence if that was what it came to or if he woke I would marry him. There was no one else on this planet that could know me and see me like my Edward.

But he hurt me; he wounded me to my soul with his words. Could I continue to stand here if he was able to cause me such intense physical and emotional pain?

And I knew. With love comes hurt. When you give someone your full and complete heart they have all of the power to nurture it and keep it safe or crush it.

He said hurtful words, but he still held my heart. And I knew I held his.

This was pure, unadulterated love and sometimes it did hurt. That was the risk you took with love.

I loved him too much to leave him. It is impossible, I'm in too deep.

If I didn't have him, I could exist, but it would be impossible for me to live.

Only one word rang through my mind… Edward.

This time, my feet, knees and lungs felt every step back to the hospital as I ran each city block. It was amazing that I wasn't run over as I dodged between cars and people, but all I knew in that moment was I needed to talk to my Edward.

Because that is what he was. He was mine, I was his completely.

And that was how I found myself standing in front of the main entrance of the hospital again


	25. Chapter 25

Thank you all so so so so much for your incredible reviews on chapter 24. It was such a difficult chapter for me to get through being so deep in jasper's mind and appreciate all of your love.

We left Chapter 24 with J at the front of the hospital. Read on…..

I do not own Twilight.

Chapter 25

I stood in front of the double doors as they opened and closed in a regular motion as people I didn't know moved in and out of the hospital.

All types of people moved around me: doctors and nurses, patients and visitors, the old and the young, all ethnicities and I'm sure all preferences.

I should be moving with them, but they only moved around me.

I was close enough to feel the stale hospital air against my nose and my feet stopped.

I made my decision, it was Edward; life and death; forever.

But with each step I took closer to him, the questions continued. He asked me to leave so that is what I did. Did he want me to come back? I don't know.

What if he didn't want me back? He didn't say how long I was to go.

What if he meant forever? What was I going to do then?

As I considered my boundaries, I began breathing faster and faster. The world spun around me.

Those people around me didn't see the difference in me. It was my emotions, my inner turmoil that raged beneath my skin. Hell, if they could see what was spinning through my mind, I'm sure they would have locked me on the fifth floor with the rest of the crazy patients.

I don't know how much time passed while I stood in the doorway.

Suddenly, I was pushed by a young man about six inches shorter than myself with flaming red hair dressed in a short white doctor's coat.

His nose was stuck in a thick text book and he was hurrying through the doors. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going or what was in the way. After he passed me, he must have pushed by a half dozen more people while entering the hospital.

Before I could take the next breath, one boot was placed in front of the other and I found myself enclosed within the lobby of the hospital.

I continued to follow the red headed boy through the halls of the bustling building and around the corner to where the elevators waited.

The boy barely stopped as I continued to follow him in to the big metal box.

He was finally forced to stop moving. The book dropped half an inch and he glanced up at me showing me green eyes and a pouty grin that only reminded me of my love on the seventh floor.

I told him where I was going and built my armor around me.

I was going to go into the room with strength. I was going to tell him I loved him. I was going to tell him I didn't care if he demanded me out of his room today, I loved him. I knew he was not himself, but I would wait forever to him to tell me he loved me too even if it took forever.

The elevator stopped on the seventh floor and I was quickly making my way down the final stretch of the hospital hallway.

I passed the family waiting room. I didn't go in, but I could hear Alice's voice through the paper thin walls.

I didn't know who she was talking to since I was sure Edward's parents and grandparents were at his house. But we never left Edward alone in this place.

I counted the steps down the hall before I found myself standing in front of the closed door, the same closed door that I walked out of only hours ago.

It was only hours? If felt like days.

I swallowed.

I lifted my hand.

I knocked.

It was the first time I knocked in three and a half weeks.

I heard no response and I cracked the door open an inch.

I peaked through the hall.

He was lying on his back with his eyes closed.

I heard his wheezing breath whisper steadily through the air.

He was asleep.

I crept across the floor and stood next to his bed.

I looked down on him. He had dark circles under his red eyes that were not there the last time I saw him. There were white streaks of old tears on his cheeks.

I reached out and touched his cheek with my finger. "Oh, Edward," I whispered.

His eyes remained clamped shut as I prayed his dreams took him to happier places.

I pulled the uncomfortable plastic chair close to the bed again and held his hand in my own. I promised myself when he woke, I would be here. I had too much to say.

Gently, with a butterfly's touch I pressed my lips to his fingers.

His fingers flexed within my own. I watched as his thick bronze lashes fluttered against his pale cheeks before opening to show me his beautiful green eyes.

I reached out to touch his cheek again like the connection was my lifeline. I needed him to understand.

"Hello, Edward," I whispered.

"You came back," he responded weakly.

My jaw trembled, but I refused to allow the sob to escape me. Was my worst nightmare true? He didn't want me here? My heart felt like it could shatter into a million pieces.

"I'm back, Edward," I responded in a voice not much stronger than his own.

"Thank god you're back," he responded.

And it felt like the storm clouds opened. Thank God. Thank god I'm back.

I threw my arms around him.

"I'm sorry," I heard with his lips pressed against my ear, "I'm so sorry, Jasper."

"I know, baby. I'm sorry too," I responded.

We have so much to talk about and so much to apologize for.

"Jasper, I –," Edward started.

"Edward, I -," I started at the same time.

I shook my head and chuckled under my breath.

"Jasper," he started again, "I'm sorry. You cannot imagine how sorry I am right now. I didn't mean what I said."

I already knew that, but I can't express how wonderful it was to hear the words.

"I need you, Jasper," he continued, "I need you here and I need you to help me. I can't get through this by myself."

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised, "I know this is hard and this isn't you, but you need to stay strong, baby. You need to work with the doctors so you can get out of here."

He nodded and I continued, "I will be here every step. I won't let you go and I won't let you make me go either."

He squeezed his eyes closed. When they opened they were full of tears. "You're my rock, I couldn't have gotten this far without you," he said.

Lifting a hand to wipe away the tears and sitting back in the bed he said, "I talked to Emmett."

He saw my grimace, but continued, "he told me how you kept me from dying when I was in the coma. I could feel you, Jasper. It was like I was stuck in a big black void, but I could feel you and I knew you were there. It gave me something to hang onto. I need you to keep me from sinking again."

I gently stroked my finger tip against his lashes pulling the remaining tears away. "I never went far, baby. I need to be here for you just as much as you need me. We're a team. We go together like peas and carrots."

He smirked and held on tighter with his grip around my chest. If he were up to his usual strength, he would be crushing me now. Instead, I responded, "You can order me away. You can tell me you don't want me here, but I know the truth. We need each other and I plan on staying for a very long time."

I smiled before reaching down to place my lips against his.

It was a soft kiss, a passionate kiss, but unlike the one that I had placed on his lips the day our isolation masks came off. This kiss shared my heart and refused to be interrupted.

Finally, as we began to run out of air, our kiss changed into a strong embrace. I wrapped my arms and my heart around the man in front of me. I refused to let go.

"I love you, Jasper," he mumbled against my chest.

"I love you too, Edward," I whispered into his hair, "With all of my heart, forever."

"Forever," he repeated.

I wasn't sure if the word held the same meaning for him as it did me when I loosened my hold around my love and settled him back into the uncomfortable cushion of the bed.

Not long after we ended our embrace, the door cracked open. A young male nurse named Paul stood in the doorway. He looked surprised to see me standing against Edward's bed when he opened the door.

"Visiting hours are ending in fifteen minutes," he called out before disappearing on the other side of the door.

I pressed a chaste kiss to Edward's lips to prepare to leave him for the night, although promising that I would not be any further than down the hall.

Before I could retreat too far, Edward grabbed my hand and begged, "Stay."

I shook my head, but Edward insisted and who was I to deny the love of my life.

I returned to the uncomfortable plastic chair that I had previously kicked away while making my amends with Edward. The doctors could yell and rant, but my Edward asked and I would obey. I would stay.


	26. Chapter 26

OK… so chapter 25 wasn't my best work, but I'll just say it set the ground for chapter 26. This chapter is certainly longer than chapter 25 and I like the story. I would say that I had more time to work on this chapter, which is true since I was home sick this week, but most of it was spent to ponder and I will admit not a lot was spent to type.

And I am quickly realizing that my story is coming to a close. I figure it will be finished by the end of next week. It was a pleasure to write for all of you.

I do not own Twilight.

Chapter 26 – EPOV

I was sulking alone and in silence. I allowed Emmett's words to absorb into my mind and was kicking myself for saying stupid things to Jasper.

I hoped he would return soon.

For the first time since I woke from the coma I began to truly understand what my family and friends went through as they were unsure if and when I would wake.

Emmett seemed so confident that Jasper would follow me whenever I would go.

But where did he go? I know it was my own fault that he left and I kicked myself for telling him and allowing him to leave.

But when I saw Jasper's tired face above me, all the concern and fear left my body. He came back and I would do anything that was necessary for him to understand that I loved him.

I apologized, I needed him to know that I loved him and I couldn't stand to see him in pain. I would never again cause him such grief, especially if it was due to my words or actions. I know I still have more apologizing to do. If I could I would have knelt down on my knees and begged, but my body is still confined to this bed.

Inside my heart, I promised myself to never see the tired, broken man in front of me ever again.

I knew I would make mistakes, so would he. I knew I would get mad and cranky sometimes, but so would he. But I would never say hateful things to him again. I could never demand him out of my life.

I needed him with me always.

Jasper did not leave my side through the night. Despite Paul's entering multiple times and insisting that he needed to leave, I refused.

The teams of doctors and administrators could whine and cry all they wanted when they came to work when the sun rose, but I was determined to keep Jasper by my side at all costs. If security attempted to force him from my room, I would find a way to follow.

I would not allow him out of my sight.

I made the mistake once and I will not do it again.

Now it is the early morning and Paul had entered my room before dawn to check my glucose level before breakfast.

My Jasper is sitting in the chair at an awkward angle with his head propped up on an arm that is draped across the edge of this uncomfortable mattress. I hear him snoring lightly into my side.

I suffer through another long night with only glimpses of something resembling sleep. True rest continues to elude me without sedation.

I refuse those mind-altering and addicting drugs if I can help it. I am quickly coming to my wits end.

I watch my Jasper sleep.

I wonder what he dreams about tonight. Are they happy dreams or sad dreams? Does he dream of me? Are we together or are we apart?

I begin to get lost within my own mind.

I close my eyes and daydream of the time I am strong enough to be able to step out of this building by my own volition.

I dream of visiting a far off place with white sandy beaches and perfect warm waves that lap at our naked bodies.

Will Jasper want to make love to me or will I show Jasper how much I truly love him?

I dream of his arms wrapped around me in the strong embrace that I would know from a thousand men.

He kisses my ear, my jaw, my neck.

He whispers words of love in my hair. I feel his warm breath on my cool skin. It leaves a trail of goosebumps across my body.

His hands move from around me across my torso down my waist, just shy of where I want to feel him most.

I want him, I need to feel him.

A low groan escapes my lips as I push my own body back against his. He is hard for me.

I grind myself against him.

All I want is to feel him inside of me, but before I can tell him what I want he swings me around so we are chest to chest and cock to cock.

He grinds himself against me and I groan a little louder. I'm soaring.

I feel like I could combust at any moment, but he doesn't stop. He reaches down and takes me in his hand. His strokes are loving and smooth with just enough pressure to feel good and not so much to cause me discomfort.

My hips begin to move in rhythm with his talented fingers.

"Jasper," I moan, "More."

His hand which lays on my hip slowly moves around to draw me closer. I hitch my leg against his thigh giving him full access.

He reaches with only the tip of his finger to swirl around my entrance.

He swirls again and I have to grip his shoulders to keep myself from falling as he makes my knees weak.

I am hypersensitive and aware as he dips the tip of his finger inside. It's so fast I barely register the feeling before he's left me.

But before I can complain, he brings two of his beautifully long fingers back to swirl and dip. He quickly becomes more insistent and pushes harder and faster.

My hips buck uncontrolled between his body and fingers which only forces him deeper within me.

My head falls back to expose my neck. He kisses and sucks.

I'm panting. I think I'm going to come

But it's pain.

My eyes fly open as the only feeling I register is a sharp, knifing pain in my penis.

I try to curl my body in upon itself. I know I must whimper.

This is more painful than being stuck by fifty of those damn needles the nurses carry in their back pockets all of the time.

It's that damn foley catheter.

FUCK! That hurts!

I swear, the next time I see someone this thing is coming out. I don't care if I can't walk and pee the bed, I refuse to keep this thing in another minute.

As I lay, the pain slowly subsides from the erection that melted away ages ago.

I open my eyes that I didn't realize that were squeezed shut and find my view blocked.

All I can see around me is blue and white cotton.

Jasper is laying next to me, I don't remember him joining me in this tiny bed. His arms are wrapped around me and he rubs my arms, shoulders and back wherever he can reach.

He feels my body melt against his. I sigh into his comforting warmth.

The discomfort has dissipated and I enjoy the incredible sensation of being wrapped in a Jasper cocoon.

He pulls away from me and I whimper while holding on tighter to his body.

I feel him press his mouth in my matted hair for a kiss before whispering, "Edward, you need to let go."

I shake my head into his chest.

"Edward," he says again, "I'm not going anywhere, but you need to allow me to breathe."

I bury myself in his embrace for one more moment before loosening my grip slightly. I refuse to break the embrace completely, but allow him room to breathe and sit upright. I do not allow him to leave the enclosed space of my bed.

"I love you so much, Jasper," I mumble into his hip, "I love you and I'm sorry."

"It's okay, E," he said while stroking my head.

I shake my head, "No, Jazz. I know I said this last night, but I'm sorry. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I said things to you that you didn't deserve and I didn't mean. I need you to know, babe, that I need you. I need you every moment of every day. I never want you to leave me. I want to be with you forever. You know I want you forever right, Jazzy?"

He was silent for a long moment, seemingly absorb what I said. His movement never faulted. I never looked up from my comfortable place on his lap to see him nod.

Finally he responded, "You did hurt me, Edward. You know why, we both know what you said and you know how those words cut me to my heart."

My body shudders as I recall the story he was hesitant but insistent to tell me about coming out to his family before coming to college. I know I hurt him, and I am close to stew in my own depression again, but he doesn't allow me to for long.

He continues, "But you know I love you too and if I didn't think there was a chance for forever with us, I would have left years ago or weeks ago. I would not have followed you to the rainiest place on earth or I would not have come back last night, but I did, Edward. I did because I love you and I know you love me the same."

I sigh against his leg, this man knows me better than anyone on earth. Even better than my own parents.

"I know you had me sign the power of attorney and the will amendments, babe," he continues, "but it's not enough."

What? I scream in my head. My breath sticks in my chest; this man just told me he wants forever but my prior attempts to show him that weren't enough? What is enough?

My body has become tense against his.

"Edward," he says, "look at me."

My body protests as I hold on tighter. It takes too long to gain the courage to turn further on my back to look up at the beautiful man above me.

He continues to stroke the hair against the crown of my head and says, "I hear forever isn't long enough for some people. I love you; I want you for eternity Edward. I will love you every day that the sun shines. I want you to marry me, babe."

My breath stops in my chest. Marriage? Shit!

Jasper must see my face register the shock of his words. He yelps, "Edward, breathe!"

I take a deep wheezing breath. Normal color begins to return to my cold cheeks.

Jasper continues, "I'm not asking you now. This isn't romantic squeezed in your tiny bed in a hospital room. This isn't the way I would do it. I'm just promising Edward that no matter what we do or say, I know those words said in stress are not meant to be hurtful. We need each other like fish need water.

I need you to know that I have every intention on asking you to be my husband one day. Most likely one day soon. I'm aware that it's not marriage in Washington, but I still need that piece of paper that says we belong to each other in front of our family, government and God.

I had many revelations while you were lying in that bed downstairs. This is only one of them."

I nod against Jasper's hip bone, promising him that I registered his words.

The room silent as I continue to process what he was saying – marriage, a permanent union, with Jasper.

The more times I considered being this man's husband, the more if sounded right. It felt right.

"Jasper," I say louder than I had yet. He looks down into my eyes, "When you ask, I will say yes."

He smiles wide, showing me each of his pearly white teeth.

We lay in silence for a while, connected at as many points as physically possible.

After some time, a knock on the door interrupts our bliss.

Mom pops her head around and spies us in bed together. I didn't realize so much time had passed that visiting hours had begun.

Jasper scrambles away from me to sit in the chair that he had left.

Mom chuckles, but doesn't say anything about the situation she found us in. Of course her arms are laden with bowl of food as they typically are whenever she sees me.

I sigh, preparing myself to eat yet again.

The rest of the family trickles into my room as breakfast is served. Bowls of cut fruit, scones and a compote are passed.

I manage to eat an entire scone and a few small berries. We make small talk until they leave me alone with Jasper again.

I look over to him and see him twirling something small between his fingers.

He looks up at me with a slight blush against his cheeks.

I am curious, "What's wrong, Jazzy? Did Emmett say something to you?"

"No, no," he insisted, "Emmett's been great actually. He brought me a latte from Cherry Street."

I wait, he is silent until I insist again, "What's wrong, babe?"

He holds his hand out to me and drops his small swirling object into my hand. I look down and see a small, white shell.

I looked up at him in confusion. First, why is he carrying a shell with him? Second, why did he just place said shell into my hand?"

He smiles slightly, "It's a happy shell, or so I'm told. I was sitting in your room one morning downstairs when a little girl gave me this shell. She was so innocent. She enjoyed the outside beauty of the shell.

But when I looked at the shell, I realized this shell had many layers. It has the smooth layer and the rough layer. It has the lines of structure that hold it together. This is a strong shell. It is able to hold its shape as it is opened by a person or animal to gather its pearl, but it's also so delicate. It can be broken if you step on it wrong.

I thought it was just me when I was holding it, but I realized that it's all of us. It's US. We can be strong, babe. We'll have our arguments and our disagreements and it could break us if we let it, but… what WE have will always be strong and beautiful. I will fight for you, E."

As he speaks and I register his words, I feel my eyes begin to burn. He is right. I will fight for him.

I watch as he takes a string he found and threads it through the tiny hole at the top of the shell. When it is attached, he wraps it loosely around me wrist close to my hospital wrist band.

"Thank you, Jasper," I whisper.

He leans down to give me a kiss and promises he will return shortly after he is able to wash and change. I hold him down to me and press my dry lips against his moist ones.

"Come back soon," I request.

"Of course," Jasper responds, "We have forever to begin."


	27. Chapter 27

Hi all… I want to thank each and every one of you for all of your support during this story, especially those of you (you know who you are) that have hung in there with me since the beginning. I have loved writing this story, and it is thanks to all of you that I made it to the end. There were so many times when I was ready to give it up, but you made me finish. I had stories that people just give up on in the middle, and I had to finish this for you.

I am expecting an epilogue at the end of the week, but this is the last real chapter.

I have written 27 chapters and I haven't owned twilight for a single one of them.

Chapter 27 – EPOV

For the past six and a half days, I have barely seen society outside of these four walls of my hospital room.

I spent twenty hours per day in this bed and the other four sitting in the recliner that the therapists have brought me.

Jasper has spent every hour from when visiting hours begin at eight o'clock to when they end at nine o'clock in the evening with me.

I was reluctant to allow him to leave at all, but following our disastrous day, the hospital administration and my dad insisted that I have those nighttime hours by myself to conserve my energy and rest.

I try to explain to them that those eleven horrendous hours I spend alone are little more than late night talk shows and old movie reruns, but they do not budge.

So, I continue my restless nights until the entire family makes its presence known for breakfast each morning.

After breakfast, the teams of doctors come in and test my strength and listen to my lungs.

Then the sadists that the hospital knows as physical therapists enter the room.

Each morning they push me to complete leg and arm exercises. They insist that I take a few steps and finally, dump me in this damn recliner chair until after lunch.

If Jasper weren't there to coach and support me through the sessions, I would have given up a week ago, but he's always there reminding me of what I'm fighting for and telling me how much he loves me. And in small steps, I realize that I have been making progress.

Usually, between two o'clock and five thirty, I am allowed to go back to bed and rest. It's the little bit of sleep that I am able to accomplish during my day.

Jasper sits by my side holding my hand and whispering words of love in my ear and I doze.

More times than not, I wake to him asleep in my recliner.

At five thirty, dinner is served and the family convenes upon me yet again.

Tonight, Mom made veggie burgers. They weren't my favorite, but she has been insistent to make healthy foods. Of course, Emmett ate five of them before we were finished.

In the evenings, the family again has taken turns to sitting and making conversation.

Mom always wants to know what Jasper and I want to eat the next day and how we plan on taking care of ourselves when we go home. Dad always asks questions as to how I am feeling and progressing in therapy.

Granddad tells me the latest information about CF and Mom-Mom tells me about the fund-raising opportunities that are coming up with her women's society.

Alice can jabber on for hours about everything and anything.

But our time with Emmett has been the most enlightening.

He apologized for being an ass – to both of us. He explained how he now understood that the difficulties he had accepting Jasper into my life were based more on his own level of misunderstanding and bigotry than anything that had to do with us.

Emmett spent hours explaining in detail where his mind had been and how when he ran away from the house the first time he met Jasper he thought he lost me forever.

He almost did twice, but the first time was his own fault. The second time he said he promised himself that he wouldn't allow anything to stand in his way when he realized his wrong as long as I woke up.

Rosalie was with us for most of our discussions. Her smile and love for Emmett were apparent with his words.

I know it was difficult for him, but Jasper accepted Emmett's apology. I think he only did it for me because I could see there were still doubts lingering in his mind if he would continue to care about us after I was discharged from the hospital and not a captive audience, but I loved my Jasper for trying.

It was a start.

So today is November third, I have been here for thirty days and I barely remember half of it.

I have met the social worker for the third time.

The first time four days ago, she told me the therapists recommended that I go to a specialized rehabilitation hospital. There, they had special equipment to work on my strength and recovery as fast as possible.

I'm sure I could have benefitted from the experience, but I also refused to sit in a wheelchair surrounded by old people with broken hips and knee replacements who would sing happy little songs to make the day go by faster.

I was comfortable in my routine with the family surrounding me.

The second time I met her was when I gave her a resounding "no" and refused to be transferred to a facility.

Today, Anita came to give me the best news I have heard in over a month.

I am going home tomorrow.

Apparently, the therapists told her that I was taking a few steps with help and they would send a physical therapist to my house.

I promised that I would rent or buy anything that I needed to maximize my recovery process.

She gave me a list of things including a wheelchair, a shower bench, a nebulizer for my breathing treatments and an oxygen tank.

I made sure Dad had the list and sent him off to prepare the condo.

It was impossible to wipe the smile off of my face for the rest of the day. I was going home.

When the social worker and all of the family including Jasper left me for the evening, I had little else to do but watch the second twirl around the clock in an agonizingly slow fashion.

I couldn't concentrate on the stupid shows that continued to run on the television and I couldn't concentrate on the books Mom and Mom-Mom brought me to occupy the time.

It felt like years had passed before I saw the sun begin to rise behind the ugly blinds against the windows.

I smiled and an hour or so later, Jasper entered. He carried a large shopping bag of my clothes. Mom wasn't very far away with my bagel and jam breakfast.

After I ate, I all but kicked everyone out (but for Jasper) so I could wear my real clothes. I was finished with my butt hanging out for the world to see.

It was amazing how difficult it was to slip my legs through a pair of khaki cargo pants when my strength and balance weren't up to par. Jasper had to hold me up and guide me through each leg. Thank goodness, the shirt was not as difficult.

He had to put on my shoes and socks for me because I couldn't bend over at all without tipping.

By the time, my team of doctors entered, I was fully dressed and sitting up in the recliner.

I had to thank Dr. Denali profusely for working so hard to get me home and for tolerating the family. He just laughed, shook my hand and wished me luck.

So after handing me prescriptions for pain, anti-seizure and breathing medications, I was ready to go.

It took much too long in my opinion to get the guy with the transport wheelchair to my room. If I were able, I would have had Jasper walk me out of the doors and outside, but as much stronger as I have gotten in the past week, I still wasn't to the point of walking all of the way down the hall.

Finally just before noon, I was officially discharged.

I rode down in the wheelchair to the main lobby of the hospital for the first time since I had arrived and allowed my family to assist me into the passenger seat of the Volvo.

Jasper drove myself and Alice the few blocks home.

I couldn't help but grin as our block came into view. It had been much too long since I felt at home.

As we pulled up into the driveway, I looked around in alarm as the rest of the block was empty.

Jasper chuckled and patted my knee and reminded me that it was a Thursday. Our neighbors were at work and I had left the Aston Martin at CF when I got sick. No one dared drive it home for me or else suffer my wrath.

I chuckled as he grinned with a twinkle in his eye.

Slowly, I was able to exit the car on my own.

Jasper had long since exited himself and he stood close to me with my tiny sister at my side in case I fell, but he knew my independent streak and allowed me to do it by myself even though it took ten times as long as it normally would.

When I cleared the door, Alice shut it behind me. Jasper wrapped his arm around my waist and I wrapped mine around his shoulders. If no one knew any better, it would look like we were taking a leisurely stroll around the town.

We made it the fifteen feet up my sidewalk before we reached the four steps up to the door.

They were only four steps.

I would run up and down these steps as if they weren't even there when I feeling up to my usual strength, but today it felt like Mount Everest.

Hesitantly I lifted my right foot and placed it on the first step. I felt my body drift away and immediately put it back down on the ground.

Jasper, with his arm still around me squeezed my body against him in a side lying hug before calling out for Emmett.

My massive big brother was by my side within an instant as he had just left his own car leaving the hospital.

The two men beside me helped me up each step until we faced the beautiful carved wood door ahead of us.

Jasper made short work of the lock and I stepped inside.

Without letting go of the rough, Texan hand that was intertwined with my own, I stepped through the threshold.

The warmth of home and freshly made chocolate chip cookies invited me in.

The downstairs floor had been redesigned, I assume by my mother.

The room where our dining room usually stood was immediately to our left.

All of the furniture that we kept where our dining room usually stood had all been rearranged. Someone had moved our king sized bed into the room. It was about all that fit into the area, but it prevented me from having to climb the stairs every morning and night.

To our right was the living room where Jasper and I spent all of the time we didn't spend in our bed.

After taking in the sights around me, I followed my nose towards where I knew the kitchen was.

As I suspected, a plate of gooey chocolate chip cookies stood waiting for me to sink my teeth into them. The hospital food was horrible, Mom's healthy food was certainly better, but she certainly knew my all-time weakness.

I reached out to snag one.

"Edward Anthony," I heard my mother's stern voice ring out behind me.

I jumped a foot off the ground and turned to face my mother with her hands on her hips.

I looked down at her with my most innocent expression.

"They are for after lunch," she stated while swatting my hand. Then she smirked, "Don't spoil your meal. You can have ONE."

I smirked down at her and reached down to give her a quick kiss before turning against Jasper's body again and stealing my cookie.

"Cookies!" I heard my bear of a brother roar out from behind me.

"Emmett McCarty," I heard my mother scold as she did me only moments ago, "they are for after lunch."

"But, but…" he attempted to argue while point at me.

I didn't have to see my mother's expression to know he would not be served a cookie before lunch was finished.

I chuckled against Jasper's shoulder as he helped himself also to a cookie.

~~~TF~~~

I spent the next eight weeks preparing myself in a routine.

Knowing I was home and safe, Alice, Emmett and Dad all returned home to resume their work schedules. Emmett and Rose as well as Mom and Dad made the trek back to Seattle every weekend to spend the time with me.

Granddad and Mom-Mom returned to their hour in the suburbs of Seattle and visited a few times per week, usually for dinner. Granddad continued to run CF while I was out on disability. He kept me updated on the daily goings-on, but I quickly realized that it was no longer my first priority. My family, my Jasper, the people who got me through this difficult process were what really mattered in life.

Three times per week, the therapists came to visit me at home.

It wasn't often that I flaunted our wealth, but I insisted to make sure I had all of the necessary equipment at my house that would have been available at any rehabilitation hospital that I could have attended.

The weekend after I was discharged, I had Jasper and Emmett move our living room furniture downstairs to the finished basement. That way I had easy access to my exercise equipment in the room across from what now served as our bedroom.

Every week, the therapists were impressed by my progress.

Now, I was easily able to walk down the block. Our goal was for Jasper and I to resume our frequent walks four blocks away to our favorite coffee shop down by the water.

Now, every morning Jasper made sure to get up earlier than me (since I was learning to sleep in) and wake me up with a vanilla latte.

Most times, I would convince him to join me again. We would snuggle in bed until the sun was high in the sky, sometimes making love, sometimes enjoying uninterrupted conversation and most times enjoy the silent comfort of each other's arms.

I was aware of my close call with death and this time was my favorite in the world.

In our quiet words, I promised to never take advantage of our time together again and I promised to love him until we were both old and gray.

I promised to love him till death do us part.


	28. Chapter 28

So this is an epilogue…. The end.

It's another chapter that ended up getting changed last minute. I thought it was going to be an EPOV but as you will see in a minute, it's not. I tried EPOV and it just didn't move.

It's shorter than I thought it would be (Sorry about that) but it's says everything that I wanted to say.

Other than THANK YOU. You all have been wonderful and it has been a joy to write for you all. I doubt this will be my last experience with writing and posting.

I do not own twilight.

Epilogue – JPOV

One year later

I stretched my body under the silk sheets of the bed.

I didn't want to wake up, I wished I was able to sleep in, but my internal alarm clock insisted I wake at seven o'clock despite Edward and I were awake until three in the morning.

But today is October 9th and it's a Saturday. No classes today.

We both can sleep in.

I laid peacefully in bed for ten minutes before rolling over to spoon Edward's body into my own.

My hands roamed across his shoulder, across his chest and down his stomach. I leaned to press butterfly light kisses across his neck, occasionally stopping to suck a particularly spot that I knew was extra sensitive into my mouth.

He woke with a low groan that started deep in his chest so I could hear and feel his body vibrate against me. At the same time, he pushed himself backwards into my waiting hardness.

Using every ounce of will in my body, I lean away from him.

But it's only for a moment; just long enough to lean back to the nightstand we keep next to the bed just for this purpose.

I grabbed the bottle and a condom and slipped it on before he could miss me.

I wrapped my body around his chilled one and moved my hands across the strong muscles of his back. Reaching down to where I wanted to be and where he wanted me, I popped the bottle open and pushed some of the warming liquid inside of him.

It only took a moment before he was ready for me.

Still laying out his side, I lined myself with him and pushed inside.

We groaned at the same time and reveled in our togetherness.

Nothing could tear us apart now.

We were joined in every way imaginable.

Four months ago and seven months after he was discharged from the hospital, Edward and I found ourselves on a beach near Edward's parents in Forks.

That beautiful evening with the sun setting at the horizon of the water, Edward held my hands in his and I slipped a platinum band on his long finger.

I could feel the cold metal of my own ring around my finger. I knew that if I reached out to him, I could feel his ring wrapped around his finger and slightly further, the leather cord that held the tiny shell I gave him in the hospital.

I told him it wasn't important now that I had the band on him, but he insisted it stay. I think it was acting as a reminder of everything it worked for during these months, of everything that mattered.

What mattered was that everyone who was important to us came to support us on our wedding day. It happened to be the same people who waited by my side in that hospital waiting room for weeks: Edward's parents, his grandparents (although I believe he was coerced to be there by Edward's grandmother), Edward's siblings and Bella.

Ironically, it was Emmett that stood as my best man. Things weren't perfect between us, but then there was only one whom I knew was perfection for me and I was currently buried eight inches inside of him.

But Emmett had spent most weekends in our guestroom following Edward's illness. During that time, we were forced to talk until we found that we shared more interests than we differed.

We both wanted nothing more than Edward's happiness.

And despite my loathing of the Seattle Seahawks, I could find someone to watch Sunday football with while Edward prattled on the phone with his sister halfway across the world.

Alice only had a long weekend to spend in Forks with us for our ceremony. She had limited time to take off and including a full day to travel each way to and from Paris, she was limited in the time she spent.

It was alright though; she made it to stand by her brother's side to act as his 'Best Woman.' Despite we insisted on getting married on the beach, Alice made sure we were both dressed in designer slacks and coordinating shirts with the sleeves rolled up to our elbows.

We said our vows which we wrote ourselves. We promised our souls and our bodies to each other until forever and with our signatures, those of Edward's siblings for our witnesses and the Justice of the Peace that we found to officiate the ceremony, we were legally bound in civil union by the State of Washington.

If you don't believe me, I can show you the card that I carry in my wallet.

Edward made fun of me because for the first month of our marriage I showed it to everyone who would stop long enough to listen to our story.

He made fun of me until I found him showing his own card to a stranger in the dairy section of the supermarket.

The day after our wedding, we traveled to Sea-Tac airport and boarded a plane to take us to our honeymoon destination.

We had been planning this vacation for so long and we enjoyed every second, some of it joined in the same way we are now, but also with me in his mouth, him in my mouth and him inside of me.

During his quarantine at home, he planned this from our flight to the champagne that waited for us in our private Italian villa on the Riviera.

It was the most beautiful place in the world and the most romantic two weeks of my life.

We spent days exploring the tiny Riviera towns, sampling cheese and wine. We spent more time swimming in a private lagoon, although swimming wasn't all we did.

We spent the most time in our room. We ordered room service more than once, reluctant to leave each other's embrace.

We had an incredible time, it was a time I will never forget, but eventually we had to come back to Washington.

When we arrived home, Edward regained control and propriety of CF.

Despite his stressful work load and heavy commitments, Edward was a different man.

He now sleeps in, although that is relative. During those first summer days, he woke up with the sun instead of before it. Sometimes he would wake me with him with soft kisses and wandering hands as I did this morning. Other times he would get up to complete his therapy and exercises in the gym before making us breakfast.

Edward worked hard for those four months following his discharge to regain his strength and mobility.

It was frustrating, some days he would yell or pout about his limitations, but every day the therapists came we all saw the improvements.

Before long, we were able to walk the six blocks together to our coffee shop, by the spring, we walked our favorite route to the coffee shop and around the waterline until the sun was high in the sky.

Edward worked hard in everything that he did from his recuperation to his career.

It took months of planning but one lunch meeting for him to convince Aro that CF was the best opportunity for him to maximize his investments and portfolio.

It was a joyous day for everyone when Aro signed the contracts. And best of all for me, during the intense company operations Edward learned to hire and trust others to divide the work.

Edward found a way to be home every day for dinner. Sometimes he worked short days at the office and came home from lunch. He usually spent a few hours in his home office, but that was typically after a full stomach and a few rounds together locked in our room.

This past Tuesday, Edward came to visit me at my campus office after my morning class.

He came holding a basket containing roast beef sandwiches, Dirty potato chips and a bottle of wine that we brought back from our honeymoon.

He quickly found the lock on my office door, effectively cancelling my office hours for the day and made love to me as I held on to the edge of my desk for dear life.

Now, I made love to him. I let him know he was my life, my reason for living every day.

"Jasper," I hear him gasp as I stilled and poured myself into him.

I wrap my arms around him and whisper my love.

He knows it.

I know it.

And today is just another day of our forever.


	29. Chapter 29

Alright, I promised that the story was done, but I wanted to include a few outtakes including a bit of Edward's therapy. I am planning a few more, but I am making no promises as to when they will be out. Even this one was written a bit piecemeal and it took time to bring it some cohesion, so I apologize if there are some rough spots.

Thanks for reading!

I do not own Twilight, Edward or Jasper.

Outtake #1 - EPOV

I was lying on the bench flat on my back while staring at the ceiling trying to figure out why I forced myself to endure such torture.

The pain was running through my left leg from my hip, down my thigh and not ending until it felt like my toes were on fire.

"Breathe, Edward," a woman's voice called out to me.

I inhaled a strained breath through my teeth in response to the command, but continued to lock my jaw in place to hide the whimper that threatened to escape my lips.

After what felt like an eternity, the burning pain in my leg began to subside.

I blinked my eyes in response to the light as they cracked open. I couldn't stop a soft groan from finally escaping my lips.

Standing above me a slight blonde woman smiled at me. She couldn't have been more than a year or two older than me and she was certainly no bigger than Alice.

This was Carmen, my physical therapist.

Dr. Denali recommended her to me after I was discharged to improve my strength and flexibility after laying in the hospital bed for a month.

When she came to evaluate me at my home, I had her give me a comprehensive list of all of the equipment I could need as well as hired her to come to the house three times per week for an hour per day.

Privacy was just as important to me as was my rehabilitation. I also figured the more therapy I got the faster I could be back on my feet and be back to normal.

But now I was thinking this petite woman was certifiably insane. She was seriously smiling at me after the torture she forced me to endure and we had only just completed ten minutes of my hour long session and it was only my stretching exercises.

She held her hand with the perfectly painted red fingernails down to me to help me sit up.

I flashed my patented smirk to attempt to hide the discomfort for another second although I'm sure she was more than aware of my discomfort. After taking a deep breath, I reached up and gripped her hand.

Unfortunately I continued to require more assistance than I preferred at this point.

It has been almost a month since I was discharged from the hospital. I admit that I was stronger that I was a month ago and I was becoming more independent, but it the progress was showing slower than I thought would be possible.

I pulled myself up with Carmen's help to sit upright on the bench that we kept in what used to be the living room.

As soon as my feet were on the ground, my masochistic mistress wrapped Velcro weights around my ankles. She told me to lift each foot up to knee level ten times per each leg and patted me on the shoulder while she moved on to prepare the bicycle equipment a few feet away.

I started with the right leg. If felt like my feet were wrapped in cement, but this was certainly easier than having my legs stretched out of the sockets.

By the time I finished the twenty rounds of lifts, I was panting like I had just run a marathon.

I tried to glance to the clock, but the hand had only moved onto the three.

Carmen didn't allow me any more time to dwell on the clock, as she patted my shoulder and told me to move onto the stationary bike. This was one of the easier exercises that I did during my routine, but unfortunately standing and walking the few feet was not as easy as she made it seem.

Using the techniques she drilled into me day after day, I was able to push off from the bench. I grabbed the cane that was propped only a few feet away and spent a moment regaining my equilibrium and balance.

Carmen watched with a hawk's eye, but didn't rush my movements.

I took a step forward, forgetting to place the cane on the ground first.

Even with such a small step, I felt my body beginning to lean by its own volition. I would have fallen if Carmen was more than a step away. She grabbed my hips and helped me regain my balance and managed to stay on my own two feet.

Not leaving myself open to further incident, I concentrated on each step placing the cane six inches in front of my feet and taking two small steps towards it.

Using the cane was a new experience and I needed to get used to it. I was still using a walker for my short trips around the house but for the few longer excursions mostly to doctor's appointments I needed the wheelchair.

Carmen directed me towards the exercise bike with her hand on my hip.

It took me longer than it should have to walk the couple of feet, but I was able to do it. It was definitely an improvement.

I flopped down into the widened bicycle seat with a huff which I knew was going to earn me a lecture about safety and awareness of the environment to ensure I didn't fall, but the previous twenty minutes had left me exhausted.

Carmen programmed the computer for the bike to ten minutes on the slowest and easiest settings. The bike would actually assist me with half of the cylindrical movement of the peddling, but the other half was my responsibility and it kept my legs in motion.

You would think that this could be an exercise where I could sit back and enjoy the ride, but that half of a revolution made my legs ache further after five minutes.

When the timer rang and the bicycle slowly came to a stop, I allowed my body to drop into the back rest as I was exhausted.

I was about to tell Carmen I couldn't do anything else today when she encouraged me off the seat and assisted me (with use of the walker this time) back to the bench. She helped me lay on my stomach and promised a therapeutic massage.

Let me tell you, this tiny woman's hands were like magic.

The first moment she touched me, all the pain and tightness disappeared. I swear, if I were straight and if Jasper wasn't a few feet down the hall from me and had she not been involved with her long-time boyfriend, I would have kissed her.

Time seemed to lose all meaning as her hands worked their way across my shoulders and down my arms, across my back and all of the way down my legs.

I let out an embarrassing moan as she stroked my burning hamstrings and was suddenly glad for another reason that I had therapy in my own home.

By the time she was done, my entire body felt like it was made of Jello. Carmen patted my thigh and told me to sit up.

I ignored her. It wasn't polite, but I knew our session was not over for the day and I just wanted to lay here a little longer enjoying the blissful state of relaxation.

"Edward," she called again tapping my thigh, "It's time to sit up and do your arm exercises."

I groaned something unintelligible and unprofessional into the hard bench cushion before slowly turning my body over to begin sitting up.

Carmen was standing by my head, waiting to assist me with the vertical movement. She smiled down at me and offered her hand. Taking it, I was sitting up and ready for the last fifteen minutes of exercise.

She placed a smaller bike which was sitting on a small table in front of me and I had to turn the wheels with my hands. This bike required me to turn it all of the way around, but my arms were also stronger than my legs, so it was an easier exercise.

As my arms peddled, Carmen sat across from me and asked me questions about my life although not much had really changed in the past two days since I had seen her last.

"What did you do with Jasper on Monday after I left," she asked.

I half-smiled remembering the warm bath he had ready for me, but said, "We had lunch and we went on our daily walk."

Every day Jasper walked with me. When I had first arrived home, it was all I could do to make it to the door by myself. Given time, he encouraged me with Carmen's strategies to walk down the four steps that lead outside.

Jasper bought a bench that he continually placed further from the door. At first it was placed directly at the bottom of the steps. Now it was almost to the property line.

After our walk, I usually took a nap until dinner time, ate, then watched television snuggled into his side. I missed our late night rendezvouses, but also understood that my body did not hold the stamina that it required to keep up with a night with my Jasper.

I had a goal though; I was going to join my Jasper in every way possible by New Years. That gave me less than four weeks to show him that I was strong enough, that he wouldn't hurt me if we tried.

With a reminder of my motivation, I pushed my arms harder around the bike to regain my strength. Unfortunately I was only able to maintain my new pace for less than a minute before the exhaustion got the best of me.

Carmen quickly reminded me of her presence as I slowed again to my steady pace saying, "How was your neurology appointment yesterday?"

I took a moment from my concentration on the bicycle to glance up at her, I skipped my nap yesterday to an excursion back to the hospital. I didn't realize that she knew about that appointment. She must have talked to Jasper about it.

She was looking back down at me expectantly.

"They are starting to lower my medications," I said with a little smirk. I don't remember my seizure, having been in a coma at the time, but my parents, Emmett, and Jasper told me about it and how scary it was to see me in a state of no control of my function.

The good news was that I had not had a seizure since that one and my EEG came back clear yesterday, but Dr. Benjamin told us that I would continue to be at risk for more if I became critically ill again. But now I was becoming healthy again.

Unfortunately Keppra was one of those medications that you couldn't just stop cold turkey. The doctor explained that for now I would try taking half a tablet per day. I had a planned follow up in two weeks when he may titrate the dose further, but for now I had to continue a smaller dose as quitting cold turkey could create such a drastic change in my synapses that it could cause another seizure itself or throw my body's metabolism into shock and create kidney problems.

Carmen smiled and encouraged me while stating that lessening the anti-epileptic medications could improve my balance and strength for my rehabilitation also.

The timer on the hand-bike beeped letting us know that our time was up.

She helped me stand and walk slowly using the walker down the hall to the kitchen.

A smile lit up my face seeing Jasper at the kitchen table with his laptop and piles of papers surrounding him. His presence always made me smile.

He looked up as we entered and gave me a tired smile. "How did my favorite patient do today," he asked while looking at me, but phrasing it more towards Carmen.

Carmen helped me pull the chair away from the table so I could sit and responded, "He was a trooper, but he still needs to practice his leg exercises more."

Jasper nodded, saying that he'll have me practice tonight and tomorrow.

I rolled my eyes grumbling, "Thanks, Carmen. I'll see you Friday."

She patted me on the shoulder and said goodbye before showing herself out the front door.

When we heard the door click behind her, Jasper stood to place a kiss to my cheek. "What would you like for lunch, Love," he whispered in my ear.

The sensation of his warm breath made every hair on my body stand on end.

I reached back to pull him down to me. He cooperated just for a minute to place a warm kiss against my lips before standing to his full height again.

"We have a full day," he said, "it's time for lunch, then we're going on our walk before your grandparents come over this afternoon and you still need to get in one more set of exercises before the night is over."

I groaned before falling for Jasper's charms. "A sandwich would be nice."

He smiled while pressing a swift kiss to my ear which he knew sent more chills down my spine. He stepped away before I could grab him again.

Before I knew it, I had a ham and swiss sandwich and grape juice in front of me accompanied by a myriad of pills including my half pill of Keppra.

I had become quite adept at swallowing all of the pills at once with a gulp of my drink before diving into my sandwich.

I ate and listened as Jasper spoke about the ineptitude of the undergraduate students in his class. He was spending most of his quiet time grading their final papers which they had been given ample time and resources to complete since his class had been changed to an online seminar. I smiled and doubted that he had done much better as an undergraduate, knowing he had enjoyed the freedom of leaving his parent's roof as much as I had.

When I swallowed the last bite, Jasper helped me stand and we took our walk to our bench. We enjoyed the rare beautiful Seattle sunshine as we talked about nothing at all.

I took a quick nap, and it felt as if no time went by before my grandparents arrived in their Mercedes.

They came frequently, often for my grandfather to update me on the status of the most important accounts at CF and for my grandmother to dote on me more.

For the first time in a year and a half I found the news that my grandfather shared uninteresting and unimportant. I knew it was important for me to know, as I was still CEO of the company, but it was just not my priority at this moment. I'm sure I would return to my duties and take care of my responsibilities, but it was not the most important thing in my life anymore.

I could not bare to not have my grandmother here though, more for Jasper than myself. When she came, she made sure the house was in some semblance of order. Jasper did his best to keep the place neat and clean, but she always found something to straighten when she was here. And Mom-Mom always made herself at home in the kitchen, often preparing us something for dinner when she was here to visit.

Jasper was a wonderful cook, but I know he enjoyed her roasted brown potatoes and pot roast just as much, if not more than I did.

They left just after we ate that evening, then Jasper insisted that I spend another hour in my gym.

The nice thing was he worked next to me. I watched him more than I worked, but as I lifted the ankle weights and spent time on the bike again, I saw his muscles ripple against his skin when he peeled off his sweaty shirt. He was not far from me as he ran on the treadmill and worked his own set of weights.

I licked my lips wishing I could lick off the bead of sweat as I watched it trail down his chest and drip off of his belly. I had already noticed the muscles which were becoming more defined across his body.

I couldn't wait to make love to this man again and again. He was always in shape, he had a thin, strong frame, but now… if I had the strength I would jump up and peel away the rest of his clothes and take him here on my bench. But no, that dream would have to wait.

He knew I was watching him, he looked up at me and smirked, "If you are going to watch me instead of do your exercises, I'll have to go."

He threatened this every night, but he always stayed.

I picked up my weight laden leg again, but continued to train my eyes against Jasper's half-naked body.

Five minutes later, he finally said it was time to cool down. Ten minutes later, we were in the shower together. I was sitting in the cold plastic chair while Jasper lathered us both up with soap.

His naked body was in front of me, begging to be touched. I reached out towards him and begged him to allow me to suck him, but he refused. This was becoming a routine between the two of us. I missed him, but he reminded me that I needed to be 100 percent healthy before we restarted that side of our lives. He said that when we became intimate again, he wasn't going to want to stop with a blow job.

I pouted.

He grabbed my chin and kissed my pouty lip before reminding me again, did he have to remind me that he wants me just as much? How much he loves me? We will be together again, when the time is right. But I'm still recovering and now is not the time.

I sighed saying he was right.

The water was turned off. He helped me dry and exit the tub. With nothing more than a towels wrapped around our hips, we walked down the hall to our room and donned a pair of cotton pants.

He tucked me into bed and pressed a kiss to my lips to remind me just how much he missed me too.

The words did not need to be spoken. We both knew the love between us was mutual, even though it was not shown physically yet.

He pulled away much too soon for my liking and walked around the bed to climb in his own side. As soon as he did, he pulled our bodies flush against one another with my back to his chest.

One last kiss was pressed to the side of my neck and we both drifted to sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

I swear I haven't dropped off of the face of the earth. I have had this outtake sitting on my computer for far too long. I know some people were waiting to see Jasper again.

But I have my excuses… the writing but was fighting me. I was missing the desire and love that I felt in chapter 1 while I was writing. Then there's always the RL factor.

But I'm trying to come back! I swear!

I have started my next story. I'm not going to start posting it until I find a beta and until I at least get half way through writing it (Now I'm about a quarter).

So here it is… I don't know if it's the last or next to last. Let me know what you think.

I do not own Twilight.

Outtake

"Please, Edward," I whispered against the sensitive spot of skin between his hair and ear between kisses.

I heard a low grunt in response to my ministrations.

My fingers ghosted across his rib cage and down his sculpted abdomen while spending an extra moment brushing against his nipples. "For me," I breathed.

"You can't-" Edward started. I felt his throat move up and down as he swallowed, then he tried again, "You can't go to church if you're in my bed sinning, Jasper."

I moved to push Edward onto his back. I kissed a line curving from his ear lobe to his nipple, taking a nip of skin here and there along the way. Just before I reached his promised land, I looked up at him through my eyelashes and whispered, "How is making my husband feel loved and cherished a sin," before taking him in my mouth.

I made sure that Edward was unable to respond (verbally) to my question. As I sucked, his head fell back against the pillow and his hips bucked towards my mouth. He groaned the soft sound that vibrated his body under mine. It only made me harder knowing how I could affect him.

I gripped him and moved my mouth at a steady pace until he finished.

I climbed back to my pillow, laying my head next to his.

"Edward," I said softly, "This is important to me. Please, I told you why. Won't you go with me?"

He turned his head towards me and stared into my eyes for a long moment, considering his response. "We talked about this, Jazz. I just don't think you need to be in church every Sunday to believe that there's a God. I don't think that God is going to count the Sundays and send me to hell for that and I definitely don't think going every week is the least of our concerns if all of those holy rollers are right and we're going to hell anyway.

I sighed as I considered the concerns that I had only heard a hundred times before.

I knew that going to church was completely out of the question for Edward while he was still recovering. He had a lot of pain and was restricted to how much he could move and for how long.

When the cane was finally retired, we were married and went on our honeymoon. It still took me three months to gain the courage to tell him how I felt.

I sat him down one evening after dinner and explained how I had prayed and made those promises that I intended to keep. I felt this was an obligation I had to keep.

Of course he reminded me of how you can't make promises to God, but I was strong and told him that I was going to go to church and it would mean a lot to me if he came with me.

He gave in somewhat. He told me to find a church where we could attend without being looked down upon and he'll go with me.

When he made that agreement I think one of two things happened in his mind. He either thought I wouldn't be able to find a place where we belonged or I would give up before I did.

But I was adamant. I went online and found lists of churches that supposedly welcomed gay couples. I started a radius search from our house and began calling. A few chuckled, but most of them were willing to talk to me to answer my questions.

Another two months after Edward agreed to the first part of our arrangement, I provided him with the information to the church I had found. It was a large congregation that had a gay and lesbian meeting group every Tuesday night. The usual Sunday service started at 10:30 and typically lasted an hour and a half.

Being less than a mile away from our condo, we could still sleep in on the weekends without having to rush to get ready for church.

Edward knew all of this.

When I brought him the information, he seemed surprised at the amount of information I was able to gather on the telephone and from the internet.

I dragged his feet and made excuses, but now it was time to go.

His green eyes stared into my own, I stared back unblinking.

Finally, he reached up cupping my cheek and asked, "It's really important to you?"

I nodded, "It is, babe. Please come with me."

He let out a noise, it sounded like a sigh and a groan together. "Alright," he eventually relented, "But if we're going to get there on time you had better get out of bed."

"Me?" I asked, eyes wide.

Edward chuckled as he jumped out of bed and raced to the washroom. I chased after him and stood next to him at our double sinks.

It was one of those rare, lovely mornings where I could have watched Edward stand in front of the mirror for hours, but I quickly had to shake myself out of the trance he had me in when he shot me the signature smirk.

I jumped in the shower and raced to get dressed. I refused to be late for my first day of church in seven years. If God wasn't going to strike me down for giving my husband a blow job to wake up the morning, he may for being late for church.

Before the clock could chirp its usual ten o'clock sound, we were both standing in front of the door donning our shoes.

Edward looked amazing, although that wasn't anything new.

He wore a pair of charcoal grey pants with a royal blue button down. His Rolex hung from his wrist as he bent down to tie his black Italian leather shoes, of course sent from Alice. I was dressed in black slacks with a coordinating button down with a fine blue pin stripe also provided by Alice.

Before I knew it, we were in the car, speeding down the street towards the church. Really, we were early enough that we could have walked the short distance, but Edward insisted on driving the Aston Martin.

He really missed that car. The first time he was able to walk freely outside, I found him running his longer fingers down the smooth lines of that car. Barely a week later, he threw me the keys. I know it killed him to do it (he NEVER allowed me to drive that car), but he said he needed to get away and we went for a drive up to the border and back.

We were at the church in less than five minutes. He parked behind the church and we walked around the building together following the other congregants.

I walked close to Edward as we normally do in public with our shoulders barely brushing together as we move. I reached out to squeeze his fingers in mine. If he was feeling any of the apprehension that I was, then we needed that closeness to get through our initial visit to this place.

His arm stiffened as I touched his fingers, but he squeezed back briefly before dropping our hands back to our sides.

It didn't take long until we had reached the main entrance of the church. The building was a whitewashed stucco hall with a short steeple. The red painted doors were held open to allow the people ahead of us to file through.

There were men and women standing just inside the doors that we could see who were chatting with those who passed by and were handing out programs.

I realize that it was me who had pressed to attend church, but being so close, made the butterflies in my stomach start to erupt.

My husband, who was always hyper-aware of those things going on around him looked calm and just the slightest bit arrogant as if he were attending just another board meeting at work.

I saw him glance at me out of the corner of his eye and he reached over and grabbed my hand despite his earlier apprehension.

So that is how we entered church for the first time together. He held my hand in his and greeted the usher kindly as if we had known him forever.

I noticed the young man, who introduced himself as Benjamin, glance at our joined hands before returning the greeting. My back stiffened and I prepared myself to be outcast the same as I had been those years ago when I still lived in Texas, but he did nothing but smile and invite us further into the bowels of this place.

As we were speaking, Benjamin obviously glanced over my shoulder and beamed.

I thought that meant the end of our conversation until he clasped me on the shoulder and said, "Amun! Come and meet our new guests!"

A gentleman, slightly older than the rest of us with dark hair and dark eyes stood next to our usher and stared. Benjamin introduced us to the older man who also quickly took notice of my proximity to Edward.

I squirmed slightly under the older gentleman's stare. Finally we heard his deep voice greet, "Edward, Jasper. You must join us this Tuesday for our evening retreat. Many of the other partners and couples we have here are planning to come. We were planning a potluck of sorts before we study the Word this week."

My strong, confident Edward smiled back at the man answering, "Of course, we would love to attend. We will just need to check our schedules."

Edward's calm words and the organ music drifting through the chapel doors saved us from further discussion at this time.

Edward and I quickly found a space to sit in the rear pew and the service began.

I know I should have paid more attention to what the minister was saying from the front of the auditorium, but the colors and varieties of people mixed in this room grabbed my attention from the older gentlemen holding the hands of their wives to the group of young girls sitting in the middle who were desperately trying to get noticed by the section of boys across from them.

What really grabbed my attention was the woman sitting in the front row. She was dressed in a bright pink frock and wore an enormous flopping hat upon her head. She even had a feather which matched her dress tucked inside the brim. She was impossible to notice.

What was more impossible to notice was when she stood up to give the announcements of activities for the week she was at least six foot, three and she spoke with a deep baritone voice.

I know my jaw dropped to my chest as I took in this person who was comfortable being herself. I don't know how long I stared for, but I eventually felt the vibrations of Edward's silent chuckle beside me. My eyes slid across to his and we shared the smirk.

Edward tossed his arm across my shoulders and I relaxed back against his shoulder. We stood when the others stood. We sang the songs and listened to the minister speak about the day's lesson.

We even showed up to the potluck Bible study on Tuesday evening, carrying a pot of my pork chili with us (in my car, because God-forbid it spilled in his.)

We didn't make it to church every week, but most weeks we tried. A few times Edward's parents and Emmett and Rose came with us if they were visiting us for the weekend and they were welcomed just as we were on our first visit.

I agreed with Edward. We didn't need to go to prove that we went to church on Sundays.

We went because it seemed to help close that painful hole in my chest that opened just a little the day I was afraid I would lose the love of my life forever.

I knew, deep down, we were good people. That no matter what happened in this life; we had another waiting for us on the other side. It would be a life where nothing could hurt us, there would be no more sickness and we would be together… forever.


End file.
